Does anyone else just feel fat?

[Shelbee]

I'm 15 weeks in to a very much wanted pregnancy and just feel horrible about myself, which is making me feel so guilty because surely I should be embracing everything that comes with the baby? I've always been fairly slim and I know that this weight gain is completely normal but I'm finding it so hard to remember that I'm pregnant and not just overweight! I had an eating disorder 15 years ago and have had no problems since, but can't help being worried that this is old insecurities creeping back in.

Does anyone else feel like this? I can't really talk to anyone about it as people come back with the usual comments of "just enjoy it, you're growing a baby". I am so, so happy to be pregnant, but just feel like my body is no longer in my control and I really don't like how I look! Is this at all normal?! Thank you!

ah, poor you. I totally sympathise. At 30 weeks I'm only really just starting to look pregnant rather than fat - I'm a bit overweight anyway, and I don't feel like I've been able to enjoy expanding as I feel I just look fatter. I was at a wedding last week where nobody realised I was pregnant, which really upset me. But we started our NCT classes on Monday and I felt a lot better after that because it was great to see a few other women at exactly the same stage as me. Some were obviously more pregnant looking but a lot looked very similar.

Also my mum told me yesterday that she hardly had a bump at all with me, so perhaps it's hereditary.

I think it's pretty normal to feel like this, I know a few others who have felt similar, and if you've had an eating disorder before then your body image is probably a bit of a delicate balance.

I wonder if you might feel a bit better soon when you start to look more obviously pregnant? 15 weeks is still quite early to be really showing with a first baby so you might get a nice bump soon - especially as you say you are slim.

I would say if you don't feel better about it soon maybe just mention it to your midwife - there's no shame at all in saying that you are finding something like this difficult to cope with, and it would be awful if it spoiled your pregnancy.

I bet you look lovely.

i am so glad to hear some1 who is just like me.
i am 13weeks pregnant and i have been wearing maternity trousers for 4weeks already. :( i dont like how i look, i dont like the shape of my body, and it doesnt help when people think i am about 6months pregnant and say i am huge for 13weeks, or it must be twins (when i hav been told its not) i am now having to buy size uk18 tops to fit round my tummy, normally a uk14.

i too have had eating disorder previously. and also my last pregnancy was completely different. i didnt show until 20weeks. and stayed nice and slim and was all baby.

i hav started to try and eat more sensibly. and also have started to walk every day. i just cant help thinkin what size will i be at the end of 9 months :(

Shelbee I completely understand. I too suffered from an eating disorder and even though I got through it, I am still very very conscious of my weight and am easily triggered if I feel fat.

I found the first 25 weeks were the hardest because it just felt like I was gaining weight. However, then I started to actually look pregnant and I realised I wasn't actually gaining any fat, but was just getting a stomach. My boobs also got bigger which was hard for me because that makes me feel bigger.

Now I am 35 weeks and feel so much better because I just have a nice neat bump and don't feel fat, just pregnant.

How I am going to feel after the baby is born and my stomach is all squishy worries me but then I will have a lovely new baby and hopefully that will help things.

You shouldn't feel guilty for feeling like this. For some of us, it doesn't matter what the circumstances, you just feel fat, regardless of the reasons, and this is difficult to cope with.

Best of luck.

The first bit where you are needing maternity clothes but don't have an obvious bump are horrid. I'm 15 weeks at the moment and feel incredibly self-conscious when I go out and about, and I remember feeling the same way when I was pregnant with DS.

weemocky I think your muscles just give up sooner with second and subsequent pregnancies! You probably won't end up a much different size than you did with DC1, but it just shows sooner.

We go on holiday in a month, and I'm really hoping that I've got more of a proper bump by then so that I don't just feel like a flump

am feeling the same way too, but this is my 3rd pregnancy so in some ways it's easier cause i have lovely pictures from my last 2 so i can see how i really look (rather than looking down at a very round and soft belly!) but in other ways it's worse cause i know how i'll look once baby has arrived.

this is probably really insensitive/inappropriate but i could cope with the pregnancy body but not how my body looked once baby arrived. i wasn't really prepared for that at all but the excess weight and inches really did drop off very quickly so it didn't last too long.

Thank you so much all of you - such lovely messages and it is so nice to know that it's not just me being an awful person and not appreciating how lucky I am to be pregnant. I should probably also post on the inappropriate crying thread, as this made me tearful at my desk!

I know exactly how you feel, I had an eating disorder and am now 20 weeks pregnant with my first and just started showing. Feeling very self concious when friends/work mates make comments like "oooh you've grown again", even though I know they mean well it just makes me feel fat!

I also feel guilty and selfish at times as I am so happy to be pregnant but have these conflicted feelings. Eating disorders are usually all about control, and the hardest thing I have found is that your body is now completely out of control! You are definately not the only one to feel like this. Good luck!