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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Please Talk some sense into me (but don't be mean)

34 replies

Distel · 08/09/2005 18:01

I know that every sensible bone in my body is telling me that it is silly to have another baby (We have 3 already) BUT I can't get the feeling out of my head that I want another one. This has all come after a pregnancy scare a few months ago. Every argument I come up with I talk myself out of:

We can't afford it.......Can you ever afford it?
DS2 is 16 months, will be at nursery in 2 years....I look after a friends baby, so what difference will that make?
Mum will go mad........went mad at other 3, what difference is one more?
Only have 2 bedrooms.........Housing association would HAVE to move us if we had another!

Some one tell me (nicely)I don't want/need to have another.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Nightynight · 08/09/2005 19:27

Distel,
I went ahead and had number 4. We had to upgrade from a Ford Fiesta to a Toyota bus, and we are shortly going to get a bigger house (I hope). I love all my children, but there is no doubt that 4 is harder than 3. When you want to buy them treats, you have to multiply the cost by 4, and you are constantly on the lookout for clothing bargains for next winter. I did so desparately want number 4, but Ive definitely reached my limit now.
I just didn't have any better way to get rid of that broody feeling. I think it will be worth it in the end.
Maybe the mums of 5 or more can give a different picture.

arabella2 · 08/09/2005 19:41

I am shocked that your Mum would suggest a termination. Definitely your decision. I am expecting no. 3 and this has come as a shock to me. Definitely my last - I have found morning sickness and exhaustion while trying to look after the other 2 (3 and 1 year old) very hard... Some people are very loving however and have a lot of themselves to go around and I think gut instincts are sometimes or often right. I'm a bit scared at having to look after a newborn again when my little one is just 2 and missing out on her as I did on ds when she was born.

arabella2 · 08/09/2005 19:43

Then again I am 36 and not 24 so would probably be more tired that you!

starshaker · 08/09/2005 19:49

i say go for it. there is never a good time to have a baby you are young (same age as me )you will be able to really enjoy them then you can get on with things and enjoy them growing up and think of all the nights out they can take you on lol. also 1 out of 4 is bound to be loaded with great job and will look after you in the way you will want to become accustemed. you have better odds lol

Original poster

Distel · 09/09/2005 11:01

Well heres the update after dh and I had a huge talk about it last night.

In short, I have done nothing with my life except look after my children. I am not saying this is a bad thing I am very proud of them all, but it is time to think about me. I am going to get a job for 2 days a week and put ds2 into nursery with dd for one day and mum will look after him the other day. I can use the money I earn to pay for driving lessons and save a bit for the learning assistants course at colledge that I want to do, but costs a fortune. By doing this, by the time ds2 starts school I will be able to drive, geta full time job as a learning assistant and we will be able to get out of the ditch we are in that is hand to mouth living (is that the right expression?).

Sounds good on papper doesn't it! Wish me all the luck that it goes smoothly .

OP posts:

GeorginaA · 09/09/2005 11:23

Good luck, Distel Sounds like a really productive talk and some good planning there for the future. Keep us updated on how it goes

Original poster

Distel · 09/09/2005 11:31

Thanks GeorginaA. I just hope it's not too difficult to find a job, as the rest of my plan requires one .

OP posts:

Katemum · 09/09/2005 12:14

Good luck for the future.

spidermama · 09/09/2005 12:23

Someone once said to me, 'the greatest gift you can give your children is siblings'.
I saw it as a green light, went on to have number four, and am loving it, loving it, loving it. My kids love their baby brother.

Here's another justification which worked well for me ...
Four is better because they pair off to play. You avoid the 'piggy in the middle' syndrome where one kid is always left out.

Or try ...
It's easier to divide food if you can cut it in half then in half again.

or...It's great to have symmetry round the dinner table. With a family of five, there's always a space. (Unless you have a round table, in which case, get rid of it).

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