hubbys family...

[bettywobble]

ok, ready for rant lol...

I have been married to hubby for 3 years and I had a son in my previous marriage who is now 7. Hubbys family were fine for the first 6 months then his brother and his wife started s*t stirring about me (they still wont give us a reason why even after confronting them). I refuse to speak to them, and hubby rarely does. They ignore my son also. His sister was fine til she shacked up with her new man, and they joined in with brother in sil...we still dont know why and we dont speak to them. next, about 6 months ago mil started being funny with me. She was always coming out with snidey remarks about me and how I bring up my son (he has adhd and autism), and we asked her not to visit after 6pm coz we needed to get my son to bed...she ignored it and visited EVERY night whenever she felt like it. We found out she had been s*t stirring with the 2 sils...I told her exactly what I thought of her and hubby backed me up. She hasnt spoken to me since july, and about 2 times to hubby (she used to pester him every day about sod all).
My baby is due in april and I have told hubby I do not want her to know so she can discuss me and my body with everyone (she has a mouth bigger than the tyne tunnel lol). When I had a mc 2 years ago she came out with "is she sure she was pregnant anyway"??!!!! Hubby doesnt really care if she knows or not, but he wants to tell his, dad, but that would mean she gets to tell all and sundry and make up ridiculous stories about us. And I have told hubby I want her no where near my baby at all. If she thinks she will ignore my 7 year old son, and think she is going to be grandmother of the year to my baby she can f**k rite off!!!
Am I being unresonable?
Rant over lol

Hi Bettywobble,

Didn't want your post to go unanswered.

Poor you. as if being a mum to your wee boy wasn't hard enough.

Does MIL have to know if FIL knows? The may be separated for all I know (she sounds like a nightmare so it wouldn't be a susprise).

You have to do what's best for you both and I guess your DH has a good relationship with his father, hence why he wants to let him know. Would FIL understand your reasons for not telling him?

You are lucky you have DH's support on this. I know some MTB have to battle their DH as well as their IL's.

Hope all goes well for you. Enjoy your pregnancy and remember the only person missing out in all this is you unreasonable MIL

Hi, thnks for your reply. Believe me, I have had a hard battle to get dh to see where I am coming from with regards to his mother!! I guess it took him to see what she was like for himself. No, they are still together, although fil is very "hen pecked" by her...they won the lottery (not millions but quite a bit), and all he wanted was a car. Not even a new one. And as she controls the bank account he is still waiting. That's how nice she is. I guess dh could try telling his dad how he feels (he is lucky coz although his dad wont tand up to the cow he does understand where we re coming from, in fact it was fil who told her to bugger off and leave us in peace so we could get used to being married and being a new step family together). Then again, it will probably just mean that he gets it in the neck for not telling her. Goodness knows lol.

You are still in the early stages so there's no need to go rushing off to make announcments, esp after your MC. Anyone would understand you being cautious.

Maybe when she does find out (because she will you know) it might make her think about her behaviour. I'm sure she wouldn't want to miss out on her grandchilds early days because she couldn't keep a civil(sp?) tongue in her head.

What ever you do don't stress, keep calm and hold you head up high. They are the ones with a problem not you.

I barely see my IL's and thats only if we visit them. They are quite reclusive and set in their ways. I would like them to be more involved with DC1 when he or she arrives in April, but I don't see that happening. My mum is ace though, hope you have your mum on hand for all the support you need!

Thats why I didn't want to tell anyone atm, coz I have actually had 7 mc in total in 8 years. And people saying things like she said do not help. I'm guessing she will keep playing the martyr and trying to make a point of how I am bullying her son into not talking to her et etc (yep heard it lol). Just sometimes dh gives me the impression that I'm as bad as her, in fact he has told me this a few times. Oh well, she is not spoiling one of the happiest times of my life for me. My body, my baby, my life lol. At least with her not speaking to me I don't have to put up with her being sat on my sofa without me knowing when hubby and I walk though from having just shared a bath together! (and it was ME being rude when I had a problem with that!!)
Oh, and yes, my mum is amazing, which I am so thankful for.