Anyone else's dh anxious about becoming the 'provider' for his family

[yellowflowers]

My dh is great and totally rising to the excitment and challenge of being due to become a dad. But he is also anxious that he will now have me and a baby to look after both emotionally and financially - I know he feels an extra worry that he mustn't lose his job and that he has to be emotionally strong for us. I reassure hi that if anything happened we'd find a way to cope and that I am here to look after him as much as him to look after me, but I can see it is on his mind a bit. I will go back to work of course, but I earn less than him and we would be a bit stuck without his salary.

I just wondered if anyone else's dp or dp feels like this and how you reassure them. Am sure it is a normal part of preparing to be a dad.

I think it's totally normal. We've had this conversation with my dp and both agreed that rough times always come up at some point or another. But you can't just keep expecting the worst all the time and just have to hope that things will be ok.

And if a problem occurs i.e. dp loses his job, then the main thing is to make sure that you have the strength it takes within your couple to handle the situation as best as possible.

Show him that you are there to support him as well and if you ever come to face this sort of problems, there are ways to handle it. Many people have faced it before and it is likely that something challenging like that will happen to all of us at some point or another...especially in those uncertain times.

nope, but i wish he would be

just wondered if anyone else is?

Dh just left his job. I'm having a baby on Thursday. We have (will have ) money to live off for a bit but the way his work was going I would rather have the him than the money. We worried about this for months but when it came down to it we are better off now and he will be able to be a proper Dad.

I totally understand nymphadora. We'd be stuck if dh lost his job but I don't want him to do extra work or stuff that makes him more stressed or go for promotion etc if it means he won't be able to enjoy time at home with me and the baby

We were lucky financially as we had sold two properties (one each) to pay for our house so when the second one goes through my wages will cover the outgoings and we have some savings to support us until dh gets a job. If we hadn't had that we'd have been screwed.

Definitely ... DP is convinced that he must now be the provider (and for 6 months, he pretty much will be), and he's scared he won't be able to 'step up'.

He's working with a headhunter and going for interviews for better-paid jobs. TBH we do 'need' more money, but I don't want him to feel that it's his sole responsibility to make that happen.

Support, kindness and hugs are the best thing, I reckon, and not pressuring them to do anything they can't manage.

its normal! bless him!

IMO...
its scary for them too but 'men' can't verbalise it like we can/ don't want to admit it. they focus on the things they can 'fix' or 'do' to solve problems. money is a big thing with little ones so that becomes their thing.

its their way of freaking out! same as us crying like loons or flipping out over daft things.

sit down together, do the sums, work out your bare minimum to survive to show it'll be ok and if something extreme happened you'd cope - coz people always do!

Yep, I'm in exactly the same position as your DH and I'm worried about all sorts of stuff, enough to give me sleepless nights. Knowing that other men are going through the same things should help and making sure he is involved with as much baby stuff as possible... of course I may regret suggesting this when we end up changing every nappy for the first two weeks