I'm feeling really guilty :( Much wanted baby and crap pregnancy.

[TotorosOcarina]

This baby is planned, which makes me feel even worse.

I know I have crap pregnancies but I'm just so ill and so tired. My hips are killing me and I'm only 10 weeks and feel like I have been well, daft for doing this,.

Its really hard for me to type that. I want this baby so much and I am happy to be expecting but it is so hard.

I am lucky that my husband is here with me all the time but he seems to be getting sick of me :( He can see me running to the loo and vomitting and that everything is hard for me but he seems angry at me fornot doing more, but I genuinly can't.

I nearly cried today when I realised I'm just going to get bigger and more uncomftable and more tired ... then theres labour and then a newborn, who i will cherish but I've realiosed that there is no break from now on, however tired I am its just going to get worse and be like this for well over a year at least.

Please don't think me horrible. I love this baby so much already but I am so tired.

I have 3 children under 6 already and feel like I'm not doing enough or them too :(

You're 10 weeks, when I was 10 weeks I could barely stand up to get the computer to type. You are exhausted and that is NORMAL, don't be too hard on yourself, within a few weeks you'll be feeling better physically and mentally. I think that's one reason why pg is 9 months- so we have a chance to adjust to it all.

Do you have any family nearly who could spend some extra time with your DCs until you're feeling more yourself?

Hi Deb,

thanks, thing is I always have really bad sickness up until the 3rd trimester and I suffer from SPD in pregnancy too and have to use crutches.

I knew all this before but just went ahead and now I feel guilty that I'm going to be so unavailable to my family for so long :(

I completely understand, when I was pregnant for the second time (DD1 was just over 2) and I had a miserable pregnancy, I was so so I'll for the first 4 months and was nauseous and exhausted the whole way through, every day was a struggle, but you know what, it was ALL worth it, the minute she was born I forgot all the misery and beamed, I couldn't believe how much energy I had and felt great, despite having a cs, so hang in there, there's a reason we do this and it is all worth it, it wi get better and it will get easier and in the big scheme of things 9 months is nothing compared to the years of joy this baby will bring you!

You are not alone. I am nearly 10 weeks pg and I cried this morning because I had a headache and the seemingly neverending nausea was making me feel sick.

It's horrible isn't it?

I'm just hoping a miracle switch will be flicked when I am 13 weeks and the nausea goes .

I am not worrying (yet) about coping with a toddler and a newborn because there's nothing I can do about that at the moment, I'll worry about it when it happens. But then maybe that's easier for me to say because I don't have 3 dc already.

You're quite justified in feeling like this. Don't feel guilty about it, you'll just feel more wretched. We all need a cry and a wobble sometimes

You should talk to your dh though. It's unfair if he's acting that way. He needs to play his part in your relationship and family. You can't pick and choose the nice bits.

Iliketo.. hes not a bad guy, hes fantastic, he takes the kids to school, picks them up,m does all the washing, and dishwasher, walks the dogs and volunteers at DSs school, so I can understand his frustration and me sitting on the couch all day but I can't do much else without feeling shaky or being sick.

Good to hear he's not a bad guy

He's probably frustrated about the situation, but he also needs to not get annoyed at you. If he needs to rant and let off steam, he should go to the pub with his mates and do it there, not infront of you.

Have you talked to your GP about your sickness?

Tot - I had a hideous pregnancy with DS, very similar to yours by the sounds of things. Horribly sick for months and months, SPD, couldn't cook anything, drive, hoover, lift anything. I was a shambles, and DH was a bloody saint.

I went into this pregnancy eyes wide open, fully expecting things to be just as bad.
I have, touch wood, had nothing near the sickness. I've felt awful and nauseaous a lot of the time and DH has had to do 95% of the cooking etc. DS (2) has definitely suffered.

I'm 14 weeks now, and my pelvis is hurting. If I twist awkwardly, or walk too far or too quickly then I really ache. It's only going to get worse from here I know, and I feel really guilty about it.

But, it is the short term. And in a year when I've got a 6 month old and the hard bit is done, I know I'll be happy.

I felt exactly the same op. I hate being pg & only have one other. 9 hellish months later & I have my yummy dd2 in my arms. Day 7 and it is hellish, but not as hellish as I though.

Great that your dh is good. Your dc will be fine. You are providing them with a lovely addition to your family.

Pregnancy sucks!

OP, my much wanted DC2 is now 3 weeks old and I can confirm what everyone is saying .

I am rubbish at being pregnant and wasn't looking forward to it with had morning sickness at the beginning and SPD from second trimester so I was pretty useless and this is with a disabled DH so I really struggled with how little I could do and how much I was letting my family down.

But, I learnt to let things slide - DS1 watched a lot more TV, went to soft play with friends, I tapped people up for favours and made sure I took care of myself and my baby as well as DH and DS.

It seemed to last forever but now she is here I am besotted and I'm so glad she is. I look at my family, DH and beautiful children and it is SO worth it.

op this is my first pg and I've been the same - this baby is very planned (infact , we had a mc earlier this year which the pg was also planned so this one feels all the more 'special') but i hve been terrible in pg. I'm now 19 weeks (can't believe i'm nearly half way through and have got here on one piece) but for about 3 months I couldn't get out of the house except v important medical appointments as I felt so rough - some days I couldn't even get out of bed. I would cry and cry as I didn't feel like myself and just wanted to enjoy being pregnant instead of reent it for making me feel so terrible. I've been signed off work since 4 weeks pg I've been so bad (only just going back on reduced hours this week). There's nothing tbh I can say to help you as you just need to get through day by day. I don't know how I would cope with having other DC. My DH has been great - doing all the cooking and cleaning, bringin me porridge in the morning etc but he looks moody and tired some days when he has to unload the dishwasher and clean the kitchen again from all the mess I've left when I've grabed the nearest food and had to eat it quickly befiore i felt too bad so didn't tidy up after. I think he just wants the 'old' normal me back again. And, slowly it's making a reappearance - he now gets excited and appreciates a proper home cooked meal (which he used to get evey day but probably not realise how much time etc was inolved until he had to fend for himself) etc/ He's never said anything to me but i know he's found it hard and tiring to deal with me.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone. xx