Can't please everyone but who do I let down?

[littleboo21]

I apologise in advance if this is in the wrong forum...

I'm 34wks pregnant with my second child, not been an easy pregnancy and due to see the consultant at the hospital on Wed as I am measuring bigger than my dates and baby possibly being breach.

I'm due to travel back to home,300 miles away (childhood town) at 36wks with my mum as my father died this time last year and his ashes were buried there. Problem is my hisband doesn't want me to go with health worries and convinced I'm going to give birth there. However I have tried to discuss the possibility of not going with my mum who didn't take the hint...

So now I'm worrying about what to do, its the first anniversary of dad's death and I feel awful about letting my mum face that on her own but on the other hand I feel guilty because its not been an easy pregancy and if I am measuring big I should really stay here plus this would make my husband happy

Any advice would be welcomed

Did your consultatant give you any indication that you may deliver early? If so then perhaps staying closer to home would be sensible.
Could your husband not go with you? Just in case.

I personnally would go but only stay overnight and come home the following morning. You both need to support each other through this difficult anniversary. I am sure your mum would really appreciate your visit.

So sorry about your Dad

Suspect the best thing is to ask the doc explicitly on weds if it's OK to travel so far. If yes - reassure your DH that you have medical blessing, and make sure you get advice on resting etc. If no - the message may be more acceptable for your mum if it's 'the doc's banned me from travelling' rather than 'I'm choosing to leave you on your own'. Maybe you could invite her to come to you this year?

Good luck on weds

Could you invite your mum to yours and go for a meal on your dads anniversary in memory of him?

Just tell her your consultant has told you not to travel far.

i would go. you won't get that first annivesary back again...

just because you're measuring big doesn't mean you're suddenly going to go into labour. ffrom what you have posted there is no reason to think you would go into premature labour

so, if it were me i would go. ask your dh if he would like to go with you perhaps?

I would ask your doctor's opinion. If they're concerned about going into labour early or other issues they'll probably say don't travel so far. If they think it's okay, that might help your DH.

Can your DH go with you if you get doctor's blessing, just in case?

Thank you for your comments

DH was going to stay home so he could take our DD to school and look after mum's dog. Now looking at hotels that accept dogs in case DH decides the only way I can go is to take him too

I would go, but ask your husband to go with you (and certainly you shouldn't drive). I would also stay a few days so that the travelling isn't so tiring.

I have taken the view that I'll go anywhere during my pregnancy as long as my husband is with me though, as I don't think it would be a big problem to deliver my babies in a different hospital. But then I don't have another child, so it is just me and my husband to sort out if we end up stuck somewhere away from home.

Not much help really, but unless the doctor advises against it, I'd go, travel up one day and back the next and take my husband with me. That way, you're supporting your mum, but your husband will be with you if anything happens.

I think I have managed to find a B&B that would accept a dog. Will speak with my consultant on Wed see what he says and assuming he is happy then take DH & DD with us. Making sure I have baby bag etc in the boot just in case