Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

boss being arsey about my pregnancy

18 replies

pissedrightoff · 23/09/2010 00:24

When I told him I was pregnant my boss (who I've previously always got on well with) congratulated me etc then did'nt say much/was out of the office for the rest of the day.

The next morning he gives me a row saying one minute how he is pleased for me on a personal level but ''totally pissed off with me'' on a business level, went on about how I'd said I had no plans for another child.etc etc

He went on to tell me that he had cancelled a course I was on and was withdrawing the offer of the company paying for my driving lessons as.......''I don't want to invest anymore money in you as I don't believe you will return to work, you will struggle with two babies'' (I already have a 14 month old DD)

Now, these benefits that he has withdrawn were not documented anywhere, in fact I don't have a contract so I don't think I can do anything about it? Anyone know differently??

Also just worked out that the earliest I can begin maternity leave is 6th Feb 2011, I fully intend on taking the full year. Am I correct in thinking that I am able to put the entire years annual leave in front of my maternity leave as holiday year runs Jan-Dec?

I so just want to never go back but can't afford it.I have lost all respect for him recently and understandably (I think) lost all enthusiasm for my job.

OP posts:
1Catherine1 · 23/09/2010 07:59

Understandable. My work has been trying to take me of a project due to my pregnancy and if they succeed I fully intend to take it up with the union. I suggest you do to since you cannot be denied promotions and job opportunities due to pregnancy. If you don't have a union you could check with your local Citizens advice bureau.

nunnie · 23/09/2010 08:02

CAB will be best to advise you, or a specialist employment solicitor (comes at cost though). Is there any reason why there is no contract of employment?

sethstarkaddersmum · 23/09/2010 08:11

on the plus side, he actually SAID all this stuff to you, instead of just thinking it and doing everything he can to make out you are crap at your job like so many bosses. So at least you know how he stands.

Write down these and any other comments with dates, times etc. Keep an evidence file.

and get this thread deleted because if he finds out you are posting on MN about work he will use that as an excuse to get rid of you.

Northernlurker · 23/09/2010 08:19

I think you can only use your annual leave after you've used it - so you can be off for 13 months or whatever but the first bit is your mat leave and the last 4 weeks or so is annual leave. YOu probably could use it first if he agreed - but that seems unlikely doesn't it......

Northernlurker · 23/09/2010 08:19

'earnt it' that should be - sorry

Bensmum76 · 23/09/2010 08:56

Hi'a
I work in HR and you can use your holiday entitlement at the beginning of the holiday year - it is your statutory right to do this. I intend to use my 4 weeks holiday in January before I start my maternity leave and have made my boss aware of this.
if you go onto direct.gov.uk, all the advice is on there.
As for your boss being an arse, you should contact the CAB, make sure you have a note of all that has been said.
How did you react when your boss told you all this? what was your response?
I'm 18 weeks pregnant and when I told my boss he said he didn't think I was having any more children, and I simply told him I'd changed my mind. He also assumed I would not be going back to work because it would be too hard with two children so in my annual review back in August I discussed the hours of work I would like to do when I return to work after maternity leave.
Seth is right, you are lucky, in a way, that your boss was upfront with you cos at least now you have proper evidence of him treating you differently.
Please keep us updated

nunnie · 23/09/2010 09:14

Forgot to say, I used my annual leave before I started my maternity leave.

Mahraih · 23/09/2010 10:53

He sounds awful: at least he was upfront but this is a ridiculous way to behave. I work in recruitment and if a candidate told us her employer had had this reaction (taking away training and potential progression points due to pregnancy) we'd treat that as extremely serious.

DO keep a note of every time he says something - perhaps discuss it again, calmly and thoroughly.

As a boss, he is entitled to be annoyed, but not to allow that to affect how he treats you at work. I was offered a promotion and pay rise before informing work I was pregnant (while I knew I was) and they have no right to take it away; your situation with the course and driving lessons is the same.

flowerybeanbag · 23/09/2010 11:02

By Bensmum76 Thu 23-Sep-10 08:56:29

"I work in HR and you can use your holiday entitlement at the beginning of the holiday year - it is your statutory right to do this."

Not sure where you heard that?!! The only statutory rights in terms of holiday are that you must get 5.6 weeks. How and when it's taken is between the employer and the employee, so no you can't insist on taking it whenever you want.

OP you will accrue your full holiday entitlement for the whole year you are off, however your employer doesn't have to let you take it all before you go. You only accrue it if you stay employed the whole year and they have no guarantees that you will do that so could insist you only take what you've already accrued as NL says. Most will let you take a good chunk though.

In terms of withholding training and driving lessons because you are pregnant, that is illegal discrimination so you could raise a grievance if you wanted to.

Bensmum76 · 23/09/2010 14:01

Flowery if you check on direct.gov.uk it states that you are entitled to use all of your holiday entitlement at the beginning of your mat leave whether you have earned it or not. Obviously if the op's boss is an arse this may not be agreed, but if she does not even have a contract that states otherwise I dint see that her boss has a leg to stand on.
I didn't realize this thread was about arguing points, I thought it was about helping and advising the op

flowerybeanbag · 23/09/2010 14:15

I'm not trying to argue a point or make the thread about that Hmm. It is about helping and advising the OP, I agree, and at no point did I suggest otherwise.

I just don't feel it's helpful giving the OP incorrect advice so feel I must correct it. I didn't correct it specifically to prove you wrong, but because I wouldn't want the OP to act on your advice and go in to see her boss announcing she's entitled to demand to take all her holiday at the beginning of her maternity leave when it just isn't true. As you said in your post you work in HR there's a high level of credibility attached to your advice meaning someone reading this is likely to follow it without bothering to check for themselves, which is why I felt the need to put it right.

If you've got that information from directgov you're going to have to provide me a link to where it says you can do that I'm afraid - all I can find on directgov is this which says you can add holiday to the beginning or end of your mat leave. Can't find anywhere that says you have the statutory right to insist on taking it all then.

Original poster
pissedrightoff · 23/09/2010 15:14

Thanks everyone for your help, Having a bit of trouble getting my head around the annual leave, if boss insists I can't take it before mat leave starts (which I think he might) I would not be due back to work until after that holiday year had ended IYSWIM it is very confusing.

Have read the links to direct.gov but can't see anything which covers this.

OP posts:
nunnie · 23/09/2010 15:16

CAB are the best people to ask, or an employment solicitor.

prettywhiteguitar · 23/09/2010 15:23

I would call ACAS I was sacked due to being pregnant, this organisation really helped me.

Take notes of every conversation, once your boss knows that you have spoken to ACAS and you are aware of your legal rights I'm sure he'll calm down.

After all hes a man Wink they liketo blow things out of proportion if they're allowed

Call the Helpline on 08457 47 47 47.

(Monday to Friday, 08:00-20:00 / Saturday, 09:00-13:00)

I think this is your best route before you say anmore to your boss

good luck

Bensmum76 · 23/09/2010 18:14

Takes Flowers point and backs away with tail between legs.
Good luck OP, I'm sure the CAB dill be able to help you with this

Rosedee · 23/09/2010 21:20

I thought you only "accrued" holiday during your first year if employment and new holiday years after that you had your full entitlement? Meaning if you take the full years maternity you have the holiday anyway. You need to check with your boss if you can carry it over into a new holiday yeAr if not then you are entitled to take it before you go on maternity. Google it cos that's what I did and got enough info to print off for myboss. This is why in normal circumstances if you hand your notice in you may be entitled to payment in lieu of holiday taken as you have your full entiltment at the beginning of year.

Poppet45 · 23/09/2010 21:39

Look up the EU working time directive or something similar. You can definitely take your full annual leave before you start maternity leave so long as you have been working at the place for a certain period of time. At least two years I think. I know because I had to do the same. My work tried to stop me doing this, and even the HR department 'apparently' hadn't heard that the law had changed until I googled it and brought in the proof. Think they were trying to be bastards about it too.

Northernlurker · 23/09/2010 23:04

That's interesting - the NHS definately wouldn't let you do this in 2007 (last time I was enquiring Grin)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page