When to tell DS (5yo) he has a baby bro/sis on the way?

[aideesmum]

Hi,

I am currently 9+3w pregnant and am desperate to tell my DS he will be having a baby bro or sis next year.
Before I had DS I did suffer a miscarriage at 8w and just afraid if I tell him now and the worst happened that I would have lots of explaining to do.
Should I just tell him or wait until the scan in 3weeks time? WWYD? Thanks.

I would wait until after the scan. BUt make sure he doesn't hear from anyone else before that.

I would wait as long as possible as pregnancy seems to last forever anyway, never mind when you're little. Definitely make sure he hears from you first though.

After two miscarriages, we waited til 15w to tell our 5yo. Even then, I worried that we'd done the wrong thing in telling him, cos he was sooo thrilled and excited.
I'd agree with previous comment too - it's a loooong time for a 5yo to wait, and altho my ds is still excited, he's clearly bored waiting

I haven't had any miscarriages, so that might be why I would do things differently - but my DD (4.6) knows we have been trying for a baby, and I am rubbish at keeping secrets!

I'm going to tell her straight away, but she knows that babies grow out of an egg and a seed, so I will tell her I am pregnant but explain that we won't know for a little while if the egg and seed have managed to grow into a baby yet.

If I miscarry I will need to explain why I am so upset, and if I don't, I will need to explain why I am so sick!!

...and congratulations

We waioted to tell ds (6yo) about the baby when i had had the first scan. It gave him something to see and we made sure we told him ourselves. He was and still is very excited about his baby brother or sister. Not sur ehow long that will last when it's been crying all night! One thing other peole said when i posted something similar was to not ram it down their throats but talk about it when they want to.

I waited till after the first scan to tell DD aged 3. I told her then as I didn't want her to hear it from other people and when telling people in order of priority she was at the top of the list.

It is a long time for her to wait for her baby sister. I'm 23wks and she keeps asking why isn't my tummy big yet, will the baby come today etc. I try to involve her in what the baby can do now and give a time line she understands more ie. what will happen for her before newbie shows up e.g. holiday, starting nursery, Christmas etc. But after telling her, we only discuss the newbie when she asks to avoid bombarding her with it. To be honest she never shuts up about it.

I've had 3 miscarriages one picked up at the 12 week scan and the untelling about a pregnancy is horrific. I would have hated to do that for me and DD. But, I'm sure everything will be fine for you and if you tell after the scan you have a picture to show and maybe play guess what this is!

Good luck and congratulations!

Aideesmum I'm in exactly the same situation as you and was thinking of posting something similar myself - so thanks. Congratulations & good luck.

DD is 3 & I will wait at least until 12 week scan & tests etc are over with before telling her. But if I tell other people I'll need to tell DD first for sure.

we did that slimyak! We waited until after grwthe 12w scan and then showed dd (5) the pics. In a truely childlike egotistical way, she thought it was her scan pic which she has seen! Then she guessed and it was a really lovely moment - I would have hated to 'untell' her if something was wrong. I would also second how long pregnancy will seem for your son if you do tell him early - we were able to tell her that she would go back to school after the holidays and then the baby would be on the way soon after but that was ay back in March and it was hard for her to understand.

Saying that - I wanted her to be one of the first to know before others guessed so I couldn't have left it too much longer as my belly was growing daily!

I'm sure he will be excited at whatever point you tell him!

Thanks everyone for your replies. I will be holding out til after the scan so can show him that and it will seem real (well to me anyway!)
Only my mum and sis know (and DP of course) and I know they won't say anything. My DS will be the next to know.

I waited till I was 24 weeks as I wnated to make sure everything was OK with the baby before telliing my other DC.

I then told the rest of the world. Several people did express surprise that I was so far gone.. and a few said they thought I had put on a lot of wieght LOL!

I Only told my DD who is 3 because she was having a party for her birthday and I knew someone in the family would mention it, so I told her before they did. If not I would ahve told her when I was about 30 weeks for personal reasons.

I was 25 weeks when I told her.

That's not true sorry, I was 20 weeks when I told her.