Anybody else feeling lonely?

[ellesbelles79]

Hi everyone, Im a newbie to MN...

Im nearly 18 weeks pg and feel as though I've been ostracised! My friends (who dont have any kids) seem to have all dropped me like a hot potato & we used to be so sociable before I was pregnant.

I may not be able to hit the town with them these days, but I felt like they would at least see me sometimes & we could do some tamer stuff like going to the movies or going for dinner etc??

But, Im constantly being fobbed off now & its really upsetting me.

My fella is a chef & so works every single weekend and doesnt get home until 3am. So weekends for me have become really lonely.

Is anyone else feeling a bit left out? To be honest I feel very lucky to be having this baby but I do feel like I must have no true friends if they can forget about me so easily. Its like i've become an inconvenience or something now....sorry for the rant but im feeling quite low & tearful about this.

Hi,wecome to MN and I,m sorry your feeling low at the moment.Its no wonder your feeling lonely if your on your own all weekend.Have you had a browse through the ante-natal threads on here?

Thanks bubbles - no I havent had a look at the ante-natal threads but I will do! I guess I'll just have to make some NEW friends or something...

I've tried passing the time by shopping, cleaning, doing the laundry,organising the nursery, reading, pampering myself with home facials, having extra long baths...but not having anyone to speak to every single weekend is rather depressing!

Do you think that your friends might think you being pregnant means that you need special treatment and you might be home with your feet up.I know I was totally naive about the whole pregnancy thing before I had any children,I used to treat pregnant women as if they were ill.
That is the good thing about this site,there is always somebody on here and there are so many topics ,so there are bound to be something as well as the ante-natal threads that interest you,Try having a browse through active convos,and just to let you know " am I being unreasonable" can get a bit heated at times.

How horrible for you to be alone so much. I'm not a needy person usually, but if I find myself alone for much more than a few hours at the moment I begin to feel a bit panicy.

Maybe your friends don't realise how you feel and you could try telling them you're lonely. Why don't you invite a few round to your house for pizza and a DVD instead?

I agree with bubbles4 in that some people instantly expect all pregnant ladies to just need to be in bed early and relaxing alllllll the time. Your friends just need kicking into shape a little.

Thanks Islandbaby - Im never that needy either and guess all these hormones floating around arent helping the situation!

I have suggested we do other things but I think that if it doesnt involve drinking & a really late night...well they just arent interested.

I might talk to them though...maybe if they knew how I felt they would realise & make more of an effort. xx

It's hard when none of your friends have had babies.

I did NCT classes and met a whole new group of people that I now consider to be friends. Maybe it's worth looking into them in your area?

It's good to find people with babies of a similar age so that you have friends around on a day to day basis once you've had your baby. It's worth looking for clubs/play groups/baby groups etc for when you've had your baby.

Congratulations

Hi ellesbelles
i completely know how you feel as all my friends seem to have no interest in spending time with me now i'm pregnant (26wks now), and when we do go out spend the whole time staring at me saying 'don't you miss drinking?'.

Pregnancy can be lonely at times but just think soon you will have your baby and then none of that will matter. Everyone who i know who have already had babies say that you must push yourself to go to baby groups/mums and tots etc and meet people who are in a similar situation, becuase unfortunately your friends just aren't gonna understand what your going through unless they've experienced it themselves.

congratulations!
:)

If I were you I'd just go out with them anyway (if you can bear being sober when they are rat-arsed!)

I am now forcing myself on my rubbish mates,I want to take advantage of going out before the baby arrives and I don't care if they don't want a lumbering pregosaurus along. Tough!!

In all seriousness, it can be miserable and lonely. I feel like I'm a bit 'old news' now after the drama of my pregnancy announcement. Hey ho.

I'm going through pretty much the same thing - I'm 30 weeks and I've stopped been invited on nights out by increasingly rubbish mates (although they're not much fun as I'm tired by 10pm and watching people get ratted isn't much fun!). Was really upsetting at first but decided not to dwell on it and try and think about the bigger picture and have lunch etc with the few remaining friends who will come out during the day.Not perfect but you get what you can!

I am only 7 weeks but its weird, I suppose at the moment as I have not shared our news yet im avoiding my usual drinking buddies as im a bad liar!

Had a horrible row with my DH yesterday as he was out for the 3rd night in a row and said that he was just making the most of the time before the baby comes which resulted in me crying like a hormonal fool saying "but what about me!" not my finest hour

Talk to your friends. They are probably really missing you but don't know how to talk to you about it because the change in friendship dynamic will be a shock to them too.

For my first 16 weeks I was so poorly all the time I cancelled loads of plans so my friends, with good reason, though I was incapable of socialising whilst pregnant! I had a chat with a couple of them about what I'd been going through but that things were getting better and i'd love to meet for coffee/dinner.

It's not as frequent as it used to be but they have to get used to getting me when I can and I have to get used to them having a life without me because when the baby comes my priorities have to change. But now i've spoken to them I feel that they understand. I'm sure your friends will too I bet they'd be gutted if they knew you were feeling so lonely