Really worried about my eating (long, sorry)

[Rocklover]

I'm 20+5 and still feeling quite sick most days, with constant horrendous heartburn and my diet has suffered drastically. I have to graze throughout the day and only fancy crap like biscuits and bread (although to manage the occasional orange).

When it comes to dinner I must confess my veg intake is rubbish and I can only manage very small meals as I feel full and bloated all the time and the reflux is awful. I am taking Spatone with orange juice every day as I am anaemic and as such hardly get any exercise as I just feel too sick and tired.

I don't eat a vast amount, but what I do eat is too high in calories and fat and I am so scared that I look like a whale and will be vast by the time the pregnancy is over. I am wearing maternity stuff size 14-16 and was a 16 before i got pregnant, but I am really beginning to panic that I am turning into a lardarse. I am also obviously worried about the health implications.

A typical day's food is: 2 pieces of buttered toast and a small cup of strong tea for breakfast.

Snacks until lunch are usually 2-3 biscuits (although had a small bag of mini cheddars today). For lunch I have a sandwich, usually cheese or tuna, but trying not to have too much tuna. Sometimes have a bowl of cereal if I don't fancy bread and maybe a yoghurt.

For dinner I try to have something healthy like pasta or cottage pie, but today dinner went wrong so I ate oven ready crap. I often have a few squares of chocolate during the day too.

How is everyone else eating? I am truly really worried as I always feel so bloated and unfit. :(

Of course you can be doing better - but realistically, if you feeling sick, etc i don;t think you're diet's too appalling- you are having OJ which counts as one of the 5 a day.... and fat is OK for baby - and carbs and calcium (butter). Yoghurt's good and I think Tuna has that Omega 3 in it.

If you're really worried go to the docs... but hopefully you might feel better! Poor you!

rocklover this is so odd - I could have written this!! Only thing is, I eat alot more than you - today I've had:

small bowl of porridge when I woke up with golden syrup drizzled on top (the only way I can get it down!), roll and marmite mid morning, small portion of left over homemade quorn bolognese and rice with cheese on top as an early lunch, another roll and marmite at lunch time, quite a few crackers throughout the day, a rosemary foccacia roll, a soya chocolate yoghurt mid afternoon, another roll with marmite, homemade spag bol with corn on cob and asparagus and cheese for dinner (smallish portion), small piece of nut roast and mashed pot for 2nd dinner (!), slice of banana cake, a couple of segments of choc orange, a few raspberries.

See - I eat MASSES!! I've probaly forgotten things too, and it's not even bed time yet - I'll prob have another roll and/or porridge before bed. Thing is, I have to, if I don't I feel really really bad. I'm lucky that i can now eat a few different things and am amanging some fruit and veg, but it still has to be what I can manage at that specific time. I've put on well over a stone as well :( I think you can't do more than eat what you can manage. But I do worry about being a heffer - mw has told me (I'm size 16) that since my weight is heavy I may need to have a gt diabetis test in a couple of months which is really depressing. I hate it, but then eating is the only way I can feel sane to get through this. I've been waiting to manage normal meals but it hasn't yet happened.

Thanks Cupcake. I don't remember feeling this uncomfortable with my first pregnancy, but I feel soo bloated and fat all the time. It really is hard to sit up after a meal sometimes as I feel very full in the top half of my tummy, yet I haven't gorged, I never eat all my tea.

Talk to your GP about the reflux. Once I got on proper treatment for reflux my eating improved a lot.

my diet has been fairly appalling during this pregnancy but then I have hyperemesis and I figure you just have to get through it the best you can. I try and have a glass of innocent smoothie every day so that I know at least 2 of the 5 a day are eaten. Try not to beat yourself up, at least you are eating something and you can't help it if you don't fancy stuff, just do your best

In my experience, orange or juice is actually quite bad for morning sickness. Tomatoes too.

It made no difference what I did when I had HG last time, but as this time it's only bad morning sickness - I notice it helps an awful lot if I avoided certain kinds of food.

I'm eating absolute rubbish too. Worse than your diet in fact. It's really difficult.. Hope you feel better real soon.

I really do sympathise angels, this nausea is shit. To be honest I do eat more than that in a day, but usually snacky things (like an ice lolly, slice of bread etc), so I don't always remember everything I eat.

I am terrified of putting on too much weight,(I went from a size 12 to a 16 before pregnancy, so was a bit upset anyway). I made sure I bought diet yoghurts at my last grocery shop, instead of the full fat ones I have been having.

Thanks everyone, it is comforting to know I am not on my own with this.

Don't worry Rocklover, I have yet to encounter a pregnant woman who eats all the right things throughout pregnancy. I was even talking to a midwife who said that she can't look at a dinner at the moment and prefers a cup of coffee and two chocolate biscuits! That really consoled me. I am 35 weeks and I find that my first trimester nausea has returned (along with the heartburn) and that sweet things like biscuits or some tuc crackers are what settles it. If you tried to make me eat a sprig of brocolli, I just couldn't. To be honest, looking back over what you say you eat in a typical day, it really doesn't seem all that unhealthy! Maybe you are being a bit hard on yourself?

i agree Cakemuncher i think you are being a bit harsh on yourself!! Luckily my m/s eased at 13/14 weeks and could barely eat a childs size portion, even now i couldn't eat an adult portion, today i have had, cup of tea x2 choc cookies, turkey and beetroot wrap bag of crisps and an apple, i know got a thing about beetroot in a sandwich!! then another 3 cups of tea , blueberry muffin HUGE one too!! Pear and another bag of crisps, so you see almost everyone eats crap at some point during the day!!
i really wouldn't worry as its actually better to eat 4-5 small meals rather than 3 big ones.

I have eaten 7 chocolates today - 4 at work, 3 at home, plus a mini muffin at work, a mini choc brownie, 4 jaffa cakes, 2 slices of brioche for breakfast... and that's just my "sweets" intake! Add to that a yogurt, tuna sweetcorn sandwich, banana, pear, nectarine, drank loads of milk and juice, and now about to have quiche and salad for dinner... I am a fat b*stard.

Although this is a particularly bad day.

I forgot, I had a slice of Victoria sponge too

Ok, a VERY bad day. I have just been greedy and it has been a HORRID day, and we've been given loads of chocs and sweets at work.

Hopefully this made you feel better! Just the Jaffa cakes for me tomorrow methinks...

Take a good quality pre-natal multivitamin which includes omega three and all sorts of other goodies and stop beating yourself up. If you take a vitamin every day you know your baby is getting all the nutrients you might be missing from your diet. I couldn't eat properly until about 24 weeks. This will pass, and you will manage more fruit and veg etc.

Thanks ladies, this is all really helpful. I have just had a piece of lemon curd cheese cake with a dollop of clotted cream. It was lurvely, I refuse to feel guilty for it as I totally enjoyed it (and it made up for the upset tummy my dinner gave me). :)

Surely lemon curd cheese cake counts as one of your five fruit and veg a day? LOL

Have you tried "liquid" foods eg I was having trouble eating and switched to a fresh fruit smoothie in the mornings made with banana, frozen mango, skimmed milk, yogurt and a spoonful of honey. For lunch I would have a vegetable soup. I seemed to be able to cope with those even when feeling sick, especially if I sipped the smoothie slowly over an hour or so.

That's a good idea moira, I should try that. I felt ok this morning taking dd to school, but now I am back home I feel rubbish again. I am having trouble getting my breakfast down, this is SO pants!.

I know my anxiety is making the nausea worse (I am an emetephobe), but I can no longer tell whether this is definitely pregnancy nausea or if it is all my anxiety. When I was off work wiith severe anxiety a few years back my main symptom was nausea, so I am starting to doubt myself. I feel like a bit of a prat.

Ah well, looks like yet another day of rubbish eating.

Oh dear, you poor thing! Really don't beat yourself up. Baby will take what it needs from you whatever you are or aren't eating so just do what you need to do to get through! I'm a few days behind you and not feeling too bad right now, but I have noticed that certain foods make my heartburn loads worse - especially things you mentioned like tuna fish (esp tuna with mayo) and cheese. Lower fat cheese or cream cheese gives me less grief - in fact lovely yummy fatty things generally seem to be a recipe for heartburn for me. Pizza for lunch then a tuna sandwich for tea last night kept me up for hours..... I went right off loads of fruit at the start but did find that nectarines and melon went down pretty well. And apples - and weirdly apples seem to settle the acid in my tum. Tomatoes were very bad though, and grapes. And white chocolate. But maybe that's just me.

You're doing a great job incubating the little person to be and that's the main thing. You can work off any extra pounds on nice spring walks when he/she comes along. x

Rocklover I get that when I go out - I feel sick but I'm not always sure whether it's anxiety or pg sicky. I start paniking it's pg sicky and that makes it worse and it all becomes too much! I've got to the point where if I were to do hardly anything and potter about doing what I can when I can (and of course eat all the time) then I really don't feel too bad most of the time. It's just as soon as I need to do something or go out much then I become exhasted and back to sqaure one for a few days - I'm starting to really worry about how I'll cope with work as being signed off this past week without the stress and worry I've been so much better. I often wonder if my nausea (or at least some of it) could be in my mind but I have no way to find out. I have no answer to it as I don't know what to do myself other than little bits when I can manage it. If it helps I saw my therapist for my emet this week (first time since getting pg) and I was so miserable at how I haven't coped with ms etc and she was really good in making me see anyone would find this horrible and tough to get through and that I'm not failing for not working - I should try to think positive for the time I have off and use it to relax and destress and not worry about having to work as I'll know when I'm ready. I now get worried that I'm stuck like this for my whole pg and that it will get worse again in the 3rd trimester (as I read on mn it does for some....). thinking of you x

Aww angels, I can really empathise and I totally understand what you are going through. In my previous pregnancy (5 years ago now) I was admitted into hospital for a week at 12 weeks for sickness and constant diarrohea so I know that my body doesn't cope well with pregnancy.

However, I sort of had a breakdown a few years back (totally out of the blue and a real shock), I was unable to work due to intense anxiety and panic attacks and I felt severe nausea 24/7 for well over a year and none of the anti sickness drugs I used worked. I lost over 2 stone and was really very ill. I ended up on Citalopram for a good six months and recovered well, going back to work etc.

Unfortunately though, because of my experience of anxiety related nausea I do question whether the nausea I have now is just anxiety rather than hormones. I haven't had a panic attack for over a year...until I was sat in the dr's waiting room the other day and nearly had one, it was very scary and terrified the living daylights out of me, but I managed to control it. I go out when I have to get dd to school, swimming or going grocery shopping etc, but that's it and yes I panic if I'm going anywhere else.

I think you are doing really well under difficult circumstances and you should be proud of yourself. Don't worry about work, just relax and look after yourself and the baby, you are doing the best you can and I'm sure all will be fine. :)

how about more fruit? However rubbish/queasy etc I'm feeling I always feel much much better after a bunch of grapes, a crunch Jazz or Braeburn apple, or even fresh pineapple/watermelon. They are great snacks, are full of vitamins and liquid, are refreshing & easy on the tummy.

Try not to beat yourself up about this. I tend to eat a more rubbish (ie more 'instant'/prepared foods) diet when pregnant as I tend to like eating but hate preparing/touching food a lot of the time.

A friend of mine suffers from hyperemesis. She had done in prev prgnancy too. Couldn't keep anything down and had a very crap diet throughout her pregnancy (except for pregnacare - she took that everyday and somehow managed to keep it down).
Her dd is 4 now and is the brightest kid on the block!

Rocklover I am also 20+5!

It sounds like things are pretty difficult for you, I empathise as I had reflux before pregnancy, and it makes you want to not eat anything. I went to the doctor, and got it sorted, and my eating improved drastically.

I'm sure that acidid foods didn't help (i.e. citrus) and yoghurt did - especially plain, low-fat yoghurt.

When I had nausea, melon, strawberries (though a bit acidic) apples ... mild, bland, watery fruits, helped.

Don't beat yourself up - just do what you can. I'm v lucky in that I now have no nausea or real cravings, and its STILL difficult to keep on track.

thanks rocklover. I sympathise with your breakdown and anxiety as I had something similar when I was a teen (a sort o post traumatic stress thing from an upsetting thing). I was diagnosed with depression and there was a time when I hardly went out as I was so anxious and I actually used to wish I had never been born as life was so rubbish I hasten to add I'm not in this way of thought any more! I've been on citalopram too (although that was given to me relatively recently for IBS by a gastrointerologist - he thought my IBS was all in my head/caused from anxiety - he said citalopram was sometime diagnosed for this and helped in 70% of these cases - I was in the remaining 30%!!). But I've also taken other antianxiety things over the years.

I think we just have the disposition to be anxious and it seems our bodies react badly to all the hormones (I have a history of issues on the pill and my body going crazy while on it and especially coming off it that no one else seems to have had!). I've also always had issues with blood sugar - at the best of times I need to eat regularly or I feel nauseous - things just seem to be ramped up now and I have to eat all the time! (but only small amoutn mostly). There seems to be no easy answer either. My GP just says it affects everyone differently and I am unlucky. I can't really give you advice, just sympathise as I feel your pain. You're doing really well to manage taking dd to school etc - that's something that you have to do every day at set times and involves getting up early (I can't get out of bed before 9am!) and you can't just not do it, like me at the minute.

I think if I had a job where you could sit quietly and take things really easy then I'd try going back for an hour or so and see how I coped, but I teach cooking - which not only is hard to face (or rather, I can only cook certain foods at certain times when I feel able) but also very stressful and you can't sit quietly, you have to be very assetive (and in my teaching style) energetic.

Btw - I'm quite liking the yoghurt drinks and probiotic drinks at them minute (and feel like they do me good) not sure if that's something you could manage. Also find porridge mostly goes down well. I also find it helps a little to take a positive approach when going out - ie instead of 'oh no, I have to go out, I might feel sick, I'll get hungry' etc etc I try and think positive with 'great, I'll enjoy going shopping there, I'll get myself something nice and have a slow, relaxing time'. Sometimes just taking a different outlook and thinking of good things and not worrying about the worst can take the edge of my nausea/shaky feeling I get when I go out. xx

Again thanks for yet more replies. Really struggling today for some reason, having problems eating anything, very strange since I felt better than I usually do when I got up this morning.

I have managed to pieces of toast (which took well over 1/2 an hour to eat), small cup of tea, a biscuit and I keep needing to swig cola. Not great for my reflux, but my nausea is really playing up today and I don't really fancy much to eat at all. A few weeks ago I beginning to feel better, what on earth has happened?

The dr gave me Cyclizine on Tuesday as the Avomine wasn't working, however he wasn't really happy to prescribe them so I only have 30 and I have been told to take them when desperate. Taking one here and there isn't helping much at all, but I am scared of using them all up too quickly.

Roll on Jan 2011 when I can get this little boy out into the world.

why was he not happy to give you cyclizine? I say this with slight worry as I've been on it since week 5 taking maximum dose all day every day - I'm on my third '100' pack! eek. From everything I can find it's considered pretty safe, but I know some Doctors just don't like prescribing anything full stop.

I found it works for me much better than avomine - the difference between I'll never get through this to this is bad but I can cope. It doesn't stop me feeling sick all the time, but it takes the edge off it and I really think it has stopped me being sick when I'm really bad. I also noticed once I started taking it that I could manage to try a few more foods. A warning that when I forst took it I felt quite odd - very very zoinked out tired and a bit spaced out, but within a few days this wore off. I took my first dose before bed so I didn't notice the ill effects as badly as I was asleep (although since you've only got 30 I realise you might be taking them with care).

Let me know how you get on. xx

I have no idea angels, I had it in my last pregnancy (max dose daily) from 13 weeks to at least 6 months pregnant.

He was a registrar, so not a regular dr at the surgery and had to look up the anti sickness meds on his computer to check. To be honest I think it was more to be on the safe side for his own piece of mind.

My dd is 5, nearly 6 and is a very healthy, very intelligent child so I can put your mind at rest by saying the Cyclizine had no effect on her whatsoever.