40+5 in need of moral support

[KN1979]

Please calm me down! This is my first pregnancy and I've been incredibly lucky all the way through with no sickness, no hormone swings, no ill effects at all so I should be feeling very grateful at the moment (really sorry to anyone who's suffering, I know how lucky I am). I've been completely calm about everything for the last 9 months but now I'm in a state of sheer panic.

I'm booked in for a sweep tomorrow morning and I've woken up today almost hysterical. I've convinced myself that labour's going to go on for at least 3 days, that I'll tear horribly and be in horrendous pain for months afterwards and that at the end of it all there will be something awfully wrong with my baby or I won't love it. I feel like I was ready for the baby last week and now I've lost momentum, as though the moment's passed or something (I know how stupid that sounds.) I should have been more prepared for the baby to be late but I just feel like I can't cope all of a sudden. Can you help me get a grip? I'm sorry to be so self-indulgent :( x

Oh dear. It is miserable being overdue.

Don't panic about having your membranes swept, it really is not that bad and I am sure you will not be in labour for 3 days.

Have a nice day today, go for a walk or a swim and maybe book yourself in for a manicure and a haircut (you want to look nice for the first photos, and you won't have time to go for a while). If the hairdresser looks nervous when you mention you are 5 days overdue, look around the salon appreciatively and say "plenty of hot water and towels here.." I guarantee you will get top class, extra speedy service.

If you want to try and bring on the labour naturally, intercourse may help, as semen contains prostaglandins which soften the cervix.

Thank you, I'm off to the hairdressers! (I can't believe I'm such a drama queen that I can be instantly cheered up by the prospect of a good blow dry.) Really appreciate your reply.

Excellent! Enjoy.

Just wanted to say hope you are feeling calmer after your hair appointment! It can be a pain waiting around for it to happen (mine were 8, 12, and 10 days overdue!) and doesn't help if you are already a little anxious over what the labour will be like. I would assert that the more relaxed you can be, the better you'll probably be able to cope in the labour. It isn't the most horrendous thing in life, although it does hurt especially right at the end. Everyone has different experiences, and each labour is different too, so worrying is likely to make it worse not better. =) I found with my first I coped really well, having not even considered what it might be like. With my second (only 14 months after my first) I was really worn out and anxious about being in pain, and I'm convinced it made the labour much more difficult to get through. With my third, I thought about anything but labour beforehand, and stayed on my feet until the last second before he came out, and that really helped me a lot. I'd say his labour was only really painful for the last two contractions and of course stung a bit to push him out. However, attitude beforehand is, IMO important, so try to think about other things, or maybe think about what you want to do during your labour to cope if the pain gets really intense... Hope that was a little bit helpful!

I think I crammed a full nine months' worth of panic into this morning! What you say makes perfect sense, worrying can only possibly make things worse.... I'm now thinking about other things! Thank you so much for being kind to a novice having a last minute crisis!! x

Hope everything goes well tomorrow.

Thought this might make you smile. When my mother had me she went to antenatal classes (which were considered very modern and new in those days). The midwife advised all the women to have their bags for hospital packed well in advance.

She then said that when they went into labour the first thing they should do is ring the hospital to tell them, then they should ring DH to come home and fetch them.

Whilst they were waiting for DH to come and pick them up they should spend the time making him sandwiches, because first labour can take a while and it is so uncomfortable for him to be hungry!

Apparently my mother followed the advice to the letter, because it did not occur to her to deviate from advice she had been given.

My OH is not getting any sandwiches made during my labour, or any other time in fact!!

I hope you're feeling better now. It does sound like your hormones might be kicking in and it's a scary experience to go through no matter how prepared you are. I hope it all goes well for you.

i found having the attitude its gotta come out at some point and yes its going to hurt didn't make me panic as much for some reaso?!? i think for me( and i'm not saying it works for everyone),if i imagined it was going to be really painful anything less was a bonus!! And i was in labour for 3 days but it wasn't that bad just tiring!!

I was 13 days overdue when I went into labour with my DD, so I know that being overdue can make you more than a little bit crazy!

Everyone has a different birth experience and its impossible to know how it will go for you until it actually happens. However, there's no reason to think it will be so awful you won't be able to cope - you will. And when all else fails, just demand the drugs...

Not sure if its a comfort or not, but after birth the hormones will kick in and you'll suddenly have nothing but rosy memories of the whole thing. I know DD's labour and delivery hurt, but all I can remember are the touching or funny moments of that 12+ hours...