How do you answer when people ask you what gifts you'd like..?

[bigredtractor]

Hello,

I'm 35 weeks pg and have been sooooo lucky with second-hand items from friends and family buying the pricey things like pushchair etc. which has saved us lots of ££.

I'm generally quite uncomfortable when anyone asks me what gift I'd like for any occasion - whether it was wedding, bday, xmas etc. We never had a wedding list and I'd never ask for anything specific for my bday etc. (except from close family like my sisters), 'cause it feels a bit rude.

Just looking for some advice when people ask if there is a gift we'd like that they can buy for us when the baby arrives(which they have started to do) - how should I respond?

Hmm, that's a tricky one because you don't know what kind of budget they have in mind. You might think "great, that's the baby monitor" sorted, but they were thinking more along the lines of a a pack of scratch mitts! Or vice versa, of course.

Could you perhaps tell them what you have already so they will know what not to get you?

I have a list (spreadsheet in fact ) of everything I need and when I've bought it I fill in the received column so I just give them this and they can see exactly what's still needed.

how about asking for mothercare/next.babies r us vouchers and mention you are planning to put all vouchers together and buy xxxxx

Sancerre, I think you might in fact be DH's ideal woman!

I think it depends on who's asking and how comfortable you feel about it. I'm also the sort of person who never had a wedding list or anything like that, but have actually found it necessary to have a list this time! Mainly because DH's mum and sister have got really excited and kept proposing to buy us really big, unnecessary, expensive gifts. I would have felt really bad for them to spend a lot of money on something totally unwanted / which we already had / have absolutely no space for... But then they seemed really disappointed when I kept saying no, please don't buy us that, we really don't need it - I felt so ungrateful! So in the end I made a list of a few things we hadn't already got, ranging from cheap to bigger/pricier things. I felt a bit cheeky doing it but they seem happy with this arrangement and have settled on a few things to get. Also e-mailed it to my mum and my sis and told them to check with the others to avoid duplicates. Don't mind being cheeky with my own mum and sis! But I wouldn't put a list around to friends or more distant family, it would feel sort of inappropriate...

lol cakemuncher

I have a list on my phone which is as much for my info, and I text it to them if I get asked advising that there are random things on it (expensive and non expensive)but things I genuinely need to get...

OK - thanks. I might sit down with my hubby and decide a few items - e.g. bouncy chair, play mat, etc. that aren't biggies and allocate them to certain people if they keep asking!!

Or vouchers is a good idea - thanks for that!

I keep telling DH that if anyone asks, I would dearly love a bit of pampering at some point post-birth!

When people say they want to buy things for baby, (bearing in mind I had pretty much everything I needed by month 4 of preg.)I just say ooh nappies would be a great help.

They are pretty expensive when you think about how many you get in a pack and how many you are expecting to use, so I just say, 'Well I have everything I need really, so nappies of any size, nappy cream., wipes etc would be great help.

My partner and I are going to be quite tight financially, so I'm hoping that we can somehow politely, subtly hint that we want vouchers - grocery stores, mothercare etc. In fact, I'd love a voucher for a posh hair salon. Nappies are a good idea. Vouchers for a nearby delicious takeaway that does delivery?

How nice to have people offer!
My mum gave us the money for the pram and has bought 2 packs of nappies (because they were giving away a box of free Johnson's stuff). MIL gave us a bag of stuff she found in the charity shop. That's it. But at least no awkward questions!!!

I say "clothes 6m upwards" because you can get them for about a fiver, and at the moment I have loads of newborn stuff, but nothing for when he grows out of all that.

I know exactly how you feel, I too am having the same problem! It is lovely for people to offer but i never know what to say, I think It would be just plain rude if I ask someone for a bouncy chair when all they had in mind was a sleepsuit! I also have a problem with asking for vouchers - people then might feel like they have to spend more because you actually see the exact amount they have paid! Sorry I haven't been much help but just wanted you to know that you are not alone!!!
... Just had a thought, what if you ask for baby wipes, shampoos, nappies etc? That would save you loads in the long run and you can get a lot of baby toiletries from poundland, those with more money will then buy the nappies.

I'd say vouchers every time.... you'll get loads more 2nd hand stuff when the baby comes, we had enough clothes too open a shop!! But you never know what little unknown bits and pieces will crop up later on! Also, with a voucher they can be as generous or scroogy as they like. :-)