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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else really annoyed by work colleagues treating maternity leave like a holiday?

26 replies

Dreemagurl · 08/09/2010 09:48

Just need to have a rant.... I am soooo fed up with people at work commenting about maternity leaving and treating it like I'm going on some kind of extended holiday. I finish work at the end of this week, and it cannot come soon enough. I'm 35 weeks and absolutely exhausted - we've just moved house so have LOADS to sort out before LO arrives. People at work are constantly saying how they're so jealous I'm going on maternity leave, and I'm so lucky - and it makes me want to stab them through the eyeballs with a biro scream. As much as I'm looking forward to the arrival of my DD, the whole pregnancy experience has NOT been fun for me, and dragging myself to work day in day out after no sleep and baby CONSTANTLY kicking and squirming (seriously, I don't think she EVEr sleeps!) is absolutely exhausting. I'm looking forward to some serious R&R - interspersed with some serious DIY - when on mat leave, but it's not going to last long once the baby arrives, with night feeds and sleep deprivation and the constant stress.... Oh God why have we done this to ourselves??! Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest. Feel free, anyone else who needs to rant. Apologies to those of you who are having a nice blooming glowing pregnancy - this is coming from 6 months of very little sleep and a lot of hormones!!

OP posts:

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lucybrad · 08/09/2010 10:15

rant away - thats what we are here for!

Jacksmybaby · 08/09/2010 11:19

Ha yes, every time someone uses the phrase "9 months off" to describe my ML I want to hit them !!

PaigeTurner · 08/09/2010 11:23

Yes!!

When I told my client's manager of my plans for maternity leave (to start at Xmas), he said "well we might not keep you on that long, because if you know you're leaving in December you'll probably slack off and not do any work."

Like I was excited about going on a holiday!

(I am a freelance so have no maternity rights btw, so they can get rid of me while pg).

DuelingFanjo · 08/09/2010 11:26

I work with a very annoying man who keeps saying he wishes he could get pregant so he can have 'a year off'. Drives me mad.

Jenko77 · 08/09/2010 11:38

But maternity leave is a holiday isn't it???

I'm 35 weeks pg with DC1 and due to start mat leave in less then 3 weeks time. I'm looking forward to swanning around all day, baking, lunching with girlfriends, etc.

Please tell me this is what happens...

anonMum2 · 08/09/2010 12:02

Yup.. get that a lot. Very annoying.

I love ranting here and one of my biggest complaint alongside this 'ML is a Holiday' thing is when other mums who never suffered hyperemesis or bad morning sickness have a go at you. "Oh, it's not that bad".. "You look really well, you can't possibly be that ill".. "I had bad morning sickness too, you just get on with it and go to work"(yeah right, you puked twice throughout your whole pregnancy and that's the same as being hospitalised more than 10 times during pregnancy?) "Have you tried eating ginger biscuits?"..

Someone give me a weapon please so I can inflict pain on them.

Rant over.

wigglesrock · 08/09/2010 12:21

If I hear the word "ginger" one more time I am going to get said ginger root and shove it somewhere very painful. Am 17 weeks and still v sick, actually sick not feeling sick!!!!

PaigeTurner · 08/09/2010 12:26

anonmum Oh my god, yes! A friend of mine who is also pg told me I had morning sickness because I was "lazy" and because I work from home! She said she didn't get it because she didn't have time! WHAT THE EFF!!!

Elsa123 · 08/09/2010 12:39

Good grief! I consider myself to be very lucky in the fact that i did not have morning sickness, no exhaustion in the 1st trimester (although my body got me back from 14 weeks where the knackeredness has got worse and worse), no SPD or GD etc. I have had crippling sciatica and I am very, very uncomfortable at 35 weeks tomorrow, but I would NEVER judge someone else who was having a worse time than me, because I know I am lucky. How dare people make such judgements!?

I am looking forward to maternity leave- but for a reason! And I don't see it as swanning off. Nor do my colleagues as most have small children and they are all fully aware of the ups and downs. Paigeturner ar eyou sure she's a friend of yours?!

Mahraih · 08/09/2010 12:56

PaigeTurner what your friend said is balls! I 'didn't have time' for morning sickness either, and I still had it - on the tube, surrounded by other commuters, with worried DP carrying a plastic bag! Gah.

If your friend was my friend, I might be tempted to poke her with a fork.

Luckily, work have been great about it and very resonable. They know it isn't a holiday.

PeteandDavesDodoEmporium · 08/09/2010 13:00

Nospringflower · 08/09/2010 13:10

I have to say I have loved being off on maternity leave and have viewed it as a holiday from work and an opportunity to visit friends in Australia, meet folk for lunch etc. But, I didnt have any morning sickness, didnt move house etc. so maybe didnt have any of these other things to bother about (although did have 3 small children by the last time). Hopefully you will have a more relaxing time by the time the baby arrives

trixie123 · 08/09/2010 13:21

Just nod and smile. To be honest, once you get over the initial shock of the whole thing, it IS a pretty nice life, mooching around the shops, park, various peoples' living rooms drinking coffee. The sleep deprivation does vary of course but its surprising how well you can cope with broken nights if your day is not hectic and stressful (and again, once you get the hang of it, life at home with one LO is not usually too bad). That doesn't mean YABU to rant about collegues' assumptions, just wanted to give you a positive view of whats to come! Best of luck

slimyak · 08/09/2010 13:24

The year off on maternity leave I had last time was the hardest and most rewarding and enjoyable time of my working life. It wasn't a holiday but it was brilliant and I was lucky enough to be able to take a year, which I plan to again from mid Dec with number 2.

Being pregnant is a very strange and personal thing and things that bother you now won't when you're not 'in your condition' (which is the phrase annoying the life out of me at the moment).

After my years 'holiday' I came back to work part time, for a hot cup of tea and a sit down.

Maternity Leave, to start with, is a really niche holiday - knackered, with one boob hanging out and sick in your hair but strangely still smiling- you won't find that in a Thompsons brochure!

cluelessnchaos · 08/09/2010 13:26

I am quite lookign forward to my holiday

elportodelgato · 08/09/2010 13:28

Maternity Leave is the hardest work you will ever do. The non-parents in my office looked genuinely bemused when I came back after a year and told them that I was 'coming back to the office for a break'. Bless them, they have no idea.

It is also incredibly rewarding and brilliant in lots and lot of ways, but yes you'll be knackered

DuelingFanjo · 08/09/2010 13:33

can't believe the way some people talk to you all! I have been really really lucky in that I have had no morning sickness but I know it's real and does happen so would never be that rude!

I am finding work really really difficult at the moment as I am preparing everything for my departure in November so I think anyone who has a go about ML being a holiday should realise that a lot of us are working extra hard in the weeks up to leaving!

redbird79 · 08/09/2010 13:37

Trixie and other posters who are either already on mat leave or have been before- how did you deal with not being around poeple every day? I have always worked in sociable busy jobs and am a bit apprehensive about potentially having days and days when I don't speak to anyone! I will be trying to fix up to meet with friends, but it will still leave me with a lot of time on my own before LO comes along....

upahill · 08/09/2010 13:40

Well I thought maternity leave was great and it did seem like a holiday (away from work) I worked up to 2 days before DS1 was born and was still working when DS 2 was born.

I used the time to take DS1 on long walks in the pram, I went off to Northumberland on holiday with him, got the house sorted with the builders and still had all my annual leave entitlement to use up.

HOWEVER I know that I was dead dead lucky and other people have it tough especially if there have been complications. I hope you feel ok soom Deeemagurl.

Oh My boss's boss has just used his paternity leave to go climbing in the Alps!!!

midnightsun · 08/09/2010 13:54

Maternity leave beats work hands-down, it IS like a holiday in comparison.

Yes, you will be knackered and feel like an unpaid slave to a psychopathic elf dictator, but here are things I do on maternity leave round 2 that I never did in any job:

go back to bed mid morning after husband and older son have left for work and school while baby sleeps for a nap (yep still in my pyjamas)

pootle about the cafes and shops nearby where I live, at my leisure, with no timetable to stress me out

eat cake almost daily, meeting up with lots of fellow mummy friends to indulge in a little moan about how hard it is

never ever have to answer my phone unless I want to

never have anyone criticise or evaluate what I do all day

I could go on. Having a baby is eye-scratchingly tiring and relentless, but it is not demanding in the same was as living up to someone else's expectations at work and delivering the results they require. I don't give a shit about profit and loss or any other aspect of business when at home with baby and it doesn't matter a jot.

Ignore them all and look forward to disappearing into a lovely parallel world for a few months.

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird · 08/09/2010 13:57

upahill

That remids me of when paternity leave laws first came in and my Dad (4 teenage kids) said "brilliant, I'm off fishing for 8 weeks!". My Mum had to point out that you can't take it retrospectively.

Jacksmybaby · 08/09/2010 15:03

novicemama I too went back to work after first round of ML for a break!

Just started ML for DC2 and already finding it MUCH harder work being at home with DS full time, and that's before DC2 has even arrived!!

upahill · 08/09/2010 16:17

I must admit I've never heard anyone in my place of work refer to anyone 'having a holiday' or other such comments when a colleague has gone on ML. I do however work in a place where everyone really watches what they say.

manchestermummy · 08/09/2010 20:07

I've had this too. And a comment that finishing at nearly 39 weeks was "so very far away from my due date".

Just slap them.

lal123 · 08/09/2010 20:11

After the first few months ML IS more like a holiday -and its wonderful! I'm due back at work in about 5 weeks and am making the most of the last free time I have with DDs

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