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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Faking it.

11 replies

CoraBear · 04/09/2010 14:36

I am eleven weeks pregnant and I'm not exited. I am happy to be pregnant and when I talk about our baby with my OH it feels really nice. But when I get asked questions by friends or family, usually "Are you exited?" I slap a huge smile on my face and say "yes". I feel like I'm faking it.

I thought I would be ecstatic and willing to answer everybodies questions but all I feel is irritation. I don't want to answer their questions, I don't want to hear their advice, I just want to be left alone to lie on my bed and be quiet.

Is this normal? I am hoping that this will pass when I can feel the baby moving or kicking, does anyone have any similar feelings? I don't want to talk to any of my friends/family about this incase they think I'm ungrateful for my pregnancy (I'm not).

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QueenofDreams · 04/09/2010 14:40

I think it's pretty normal to have mixed feelings early on in pregnancy. It is such a massive change to your life, and it takes time to fully adjust to that. Don't expect to be living on a constant high of excitement later on either. You'll probably have moments when you feel it, and others where you're just trying to get through the day and pregnancy is a major annoyance. I think that is all normal. Obviously if you start to feel too negative/depressed you should see a GP, but I wouldn't worry about lacking excitement at this stage.

Original poster

CoraBear · 04/09/2010 14:46

Thanks Queen, it's my first pregnancy so I wasn't sure if this was normal. My friend is a few weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy and she is absorbed by the whole process and is absolutely loving it. None of the baby books I've read have explained that may be you won't immediately revel in it. I was feeling like a bit of a freak to be honest.

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jasminetatu · 04/09/2010 14:47

I felt the same way after I found out; I still do sometimes, I'm now nearly 16 weeks. I think it's normal, your hormones are all over the place too! My pregnancy was not planned and I had really mixed feelings at first; although my decision to go ahead was definitely the right one it's still a huge change to adjust to and I don't think the reality of being a mum has really sunk in yet. I think it might become easier when I really 'feel' pregnant - my pregnancy really hasn't affected me physically, no hint of a bump yet! But after seeing a little wriggly baby at the 12 week scan, things started getting more exciting and less daunting :)

Original poster

CoraBear · 04/09/2010 14:53

Bloody hormones. I think you might be right Jasmine, physically I have no changes either, not even bigger boobs. Maybe when I'm shaped like a bowling ball it'll all seem a bit more real.

My pregnancy was planned but it happened much quicker than we thought it would. My OH is very exited as is everybody else, it just seemed to me that I was missing out on the fun.

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QueenofDreams · 04/09/2010 15:35

Cora that's because it's YOUR body that goes through all the changes. It's ok for everyone else - they get to watch :) My first pregnancy was unplanned and I was really scared. Remember that every woman is different, so we all have different reactions/feelings about the whole process. I knew one woman who had tried for ten years, had surgery to remove fibroids and all sorts. When she found out she was pregnant she still found herself wondering if she'd done the right thing :)

Oh and don't put too much store in the baby books. They're useful to give you a rough idea of what's going to happen to your body, but they are NOT gospel.

Marjee · 04/09/2010 15:38

I felt like that at about 20 weeks. I started out excited but I think the enormity of having a baby suddenly hit me and I freaked out! I felt so guilty about it, ds would kick and I'd feel nothing (emotionally). It passed after a few weeks and then I started getting excited again. I'm sure its more common than anyone realises, its not the sort of thing anyone admits to out of guilt and embarrassment

PickleSarnie · 04/09/2010 19:50

I think it's totally normal. The first 16 weeks for me I was constantly sick and exhausted. I had no bump and I couldn't feel baby move. Even after the 12 week scan, I thought I'd imagined it and it was all a bit too surreal to think it was real and just drifted through pregnancy in a bit of daze. Didn't buy a single thing pregnancy/baby related either.

At the 20 week scan though, everything changed. I could feel it move and it suddenly seemed real and I started getting excited. I'm 37+5 now though and I still have points when I'm not excited even though I'm ridiculously happy about being pregnant. It's just all such a huge life change and so daunting to get my head around.

SoozleQ · 04/09/2010 20:07

I'm 34 weeks and when people ask me that question the honest answer is no. I'm really enjoying being pregnant with our planned baby but I can't say that my overwhelming emotion is excitement. Nine months is a long time and even with only 6 or so weeks to go it still doesn't really seem real that my wriggling bump will actually be our baby! I do get the odd flash of excitment but mostly it's just a case of getting on with day to day life - I blame work because thinking about that has filled up my brain and there's no room for it to get excited!

cardamomginger · 05/09/2010 00:03

Completely normal! I'm 37 weeks with DC1 and this is a very much wanted baby. Even so, have had emotional highs and lows all the way throughout pregnancy ranging from feeling that this is the best thing that has ever happened to bursting into tears and wondering what the hell I have gone and done! As Pickle said, this is a huge and daunting life change. What you are feeling and going through is what so many of us have experienced - don't stress about it. And congratulations!

Mammie81 · 05/09/2010 00:46

I was talking about this with a friend the other night, and I said I wasnt enjoying it either. I am happy to be pregnant but Im not enjoying the actual process of getting fat and tired much. I just dont understand those women who crow about how 'amazing' it is and what a 'wonderful feeling to have the seed of life inside you'.

She said you look back in hindsight and think that because you forget the bad bits. Lets see!

saoirse86 · 05/09/2010 12:29

I felt similar, possibly because it wasn't planned, was a major shock and was fairly bad timing. I wasn't particularly excited and couldn't get used to the idea. However, when I told friends I was scared they were completely understanding and supportive and most said they felt like that at first too.
I'm now 37+2 and definitely feel excited so hopefully the thoughts will pass soon for you and you'll get to really enjoy it all.

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