Happy about pregnancy but at the same time not, if that makes sense

[MrsChemist]

I've just found out I'm pregnant, and I'm happy that me and DH are having another baby.
We've always wanted a large family, and I'm excited that we are adding to the family.

However, I'm also very anxious about it. DS is only a year old and the first six months of his life are a blur, and all I think about when I look back is how much of a struggle it was.
I didn't have a sodding clue what I was doing really. DH says I coped really well, but it didn't feel like that. I don't think it was PND, because it wasn't horrific, just a challenge to adapt to a new way of life.

DS has hit a fantastic age, he seems to have really grown into himself (IYKWIM) and he is such a joy to be with now. He can nearly walk, and he is getting in things, being mischievous, having lots of fun and is the most lovable little boy ever (I would say that though )
I'm just really really enjoying our little family at the moment. I think we've finally got the hang of being a family, and I'm terrified that I just won't cope with two so young, and it will change everything again.
I'll have to cope, because I don't have a choice, and I am looking forward to the new addition, but I equally can't stop worrying.

Has anyone else felt like this? I feel terrible that I'm not just happy IYSWIM.

I felt exactly the same when I first found out, my DD was 18 months and I didn't enjoy the first 6 months of her life either to be honest.

The ambivalent feeling lasted for quite while, in fact I have to admit I've been less neurotic so far this pregnancy because I'm not as desperate to have the baby (I feel awful writing that).

However, I had my nuchal scan a couple of days ago and there was a definite actual wriggly baby in there and I feel much keener on the whole idea now .

I'm know it will be hard work with two small children, particularly as I am not keen on the baby stage, but it will be lovely to have two close together in age as they get a bit older and also I am quite keen to get the whole pregnancy/baby stage of my life over and move on as a family to a point where we can do more things.

So no, you're certainly not alone in feeling a bit ambivalent about the situation!

I'm 7 months pregnant with DD2 and DD1 will be 20 months when this one's born. I felt (and feel) exactly the same - happy, but frankly bricking it. But I'm told the second is easier because it doesn't change your life in the same way as the first... it couldn't really, could it??

my situ bit different, my Ds is 6 and very independant got my life back can do pretty much everything by himself, am 14 weeks with DC2 and half of me dreading starting all over again, sleepless night, pushchairs, nappies etc etc but other half can't wait til i meet my new baby!! So no, you're not on your own x

Them being close together will be nice, and I'm quite young, so getting the baby stage out of the way early means I can continue my studies and work towards a career in a few years time, knowing that the babies are behind me.

I feel like I can't tell my DH this though because I won't want him to think I don't want the baby. I do, very much so, but I'm just scared I won't cope.
I suppose, as well, I'm just resisting change because we are doing well at the moment.