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Original poster

Feeling tired & sad -sorry to be a drip but could do with some support

17 replies

lizardqueenie · 02/09/2010 21:16

Hello

Feeling quite drippy for writing this but am 30 weeks and have just felt so crap for the last week or so. At the moment I have a cold, cough, heartburn, feet that don't fit in my shoes, pelvic& lower back pain and eczema - other than a cough and cold never had these things before. I feel lucky to not have anything too serious - one of my friends has just been induced due to high blood pressure, bless her, but I just feel so rubbish and am disappointed that I haven't really experienced any of this pregnancy glow stuff.

Went to my 1st nct class last night with DH - we were all asked what we had enjoyed so far about pregnancy, everyone went around and said something, there were lots of shiny hair & great skin comments. Getting ready for work this morning and groaning about my aching back, DH said, "all those ladies last night that were so positive and enjoying their pregnancy...." he trailed off but I felt like s**t at that point. Hmm Really would have preferred one of those pregnancies where I was bouncing off the walls with energy but have found the being unwell with one thing or another actually quite depressing.
Anyone else been in the same position (particularly with their OH) or feeling really run down?

Thanks girls.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Ladyopheliastar · 02/09/2010 21:27

Everyone is different. I'm 19 weeks and haven't had any of the so called pregnancy benifits. Don't worry about how you've been. I bet that when you are better you'll feel happier about the pregnancy. I bet your OH would sum up much enthusiasm if he had the man flu!

MrsFC · 02/09/2010 21:30

Hi Lizard, I don't have a solution, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I'm 19 weeks into a VERY much wanted and awaited 2nd pregnancy. And I feel so guilty but I'm so disheartened today. I feel so huge and unsexy already and Im only halfway through and know that the REALLY bad stuff (most of which you're experiencing!) is still to come...

Only 10 more weeks & you have your body back xxx

niamh29 · 02/09/2010 21:34

I didn't "glow" at any point in my 2 pregnancies, and I don't feel very glowie right now with No 3. When I glowed was afterwards with the baby in my arms and that what keeps me going through all the crap.

I will quite happily slap the next person who tells me they "love being pregnant!" I hate it, but the reward is SO worthwhile!

PYT · 02/09/2010 21:38

You poor thing.

I never 'glowed' during my first pregnancy, either. I was enormous by about 26 weeks, my back ached, I was insanely tired all the way through and by about 34 weeks I would have happily crawled under a duvet and stayed there until the baby was born.

Second pregnancy I had a short period of lovely 'glowy' time - in between the first 20 weeks of extreme sickness, and the last 8 weeks of liver failure!

Seriously, every woman (and every pregnancy) is different. Your DH needs to shape up. Sit him down, explain quietly and calmly that lots of women find pregnancy physically and mentally draining, and that what you would like is some TLC and understanding.

plantsitter · 02/09/2010 21:42

Please don't start comparing yourself with your NCT group already. Seriously, everybody lies about how well they're doing/ how they're loving having a new born/ how much said child is sleeping/ what development stage they're at.

I bet most of those women woke up this morning thinking the same thing! Sorry your DH was tactless enough to say it though...

plantsitter · 02/09/2010 21:44

PS I am 30 weeks with my second and I'm feeling crap too. I look in disgustingly good health though, so nobody believes me.

japhrimel · 02/09/2010 21:51

I'm 25 weeks and have yet to have the glowing energetic stage. My only real plus - other than finally being pregnant & in the 2nd trimester! - is that I have decent nails for the first time in my life. Hardly outweighs all the niggles!

IsItMeOr · 02/09/2010 21:55

You know, I think I actually did make something up to answer that question in my NCT class Wink.

The correct thing to say to your OH is that those husbands last night seemed so supportive, and let your voice trail off.

Be gentle with yourself through the rest of your pg, and let your OH pamper you as much as he possibly can.

Take care.

taodao · 02/09/2010 22:02

Hi Lizard,
May be suggest to your DH to book a pregnancy massage for you. Who knows, you may feel great after. I recently saw 2 girls in their 32 week who just had one to cheer them up.

Original poster
lizardqueenie · 03/09/2010 08:42

Hey thanks everyone - nice to log in this morning and see that I am not alone.

LadyO I thought that about when he has been ill with coughs/ colds whatever and the amount of cups of tea etc I have made grrr...

PYT tried to explain to DH last night, without getting into that whole blame thing, that I am dissapointed with how I feel. When he asked if there was anything he could do, I just said "look after me". Thats really how I feel, all I want is a bit of understanding, a cup of tea and a hug now and again.

MrsFC Cant wait to have my body back! I had just about cracked the whole healthy eating and loosing weight thing and then got pregnant. Obviously I was and am over the moon and I am looking forward to feeling well enough to get back to it after the baby is born.

Plantsitter didnt think about falling into the whole comparison trap so quickly! Am still feeling bunged up and spluttery today so I am not going to go to the women's only session - I just think it will make me feel worse and will probably get better staying in bed and resting.

japhrimel ah yes, nails, mine have been great too, but like you say its hardly a trade off!

Isitme & taodao some pampering and massage sounds like a great idea. I'll try to shift this cold first and then get myself some treats booked.

Thanks again everyone and good luck with your pregnancies xx

OP posts:
angels1 · 03/09/2010 09:23

feel your pain! I'm still only 15 weeks and can't see light at the end of this tunnel - I've hardly been out of the house in 3 monthsas I've felt so bad and just as sickness is lifting (very slightly) I get heartburn, back ache and unbearable headaches to name afew Sad . I honestly can't think of one thing I've enjoyed about it yet.

And I think my DP is wondering why he ever wanted a pg wife - I ask him to make and bring me food rpetty much all evening when he gets home from work - I hate doing it but I just feel so rough in evenings. Last night took the biscuit - I woke up at 3 am having had a terrible nightmare about having my baby and then it died and in the dream I was in flods of tears and woke up in a cold sweat, then when I was awake I was startving hungry but didn't feel well enough to go downstairs so woke him up to request a peice of toast with veggie bacon and a glass of milk. Poor thing, he did it without complaint but I think he's finding it testing...I just keep telling him I'd much rather be him doing all this than me mne living with this horribleness...but I think that's wearing thin with him and he's wondering why other pregnant people seem to just get on with it and I can't. Infact, it's really hard as anyone who hasn't had a really difficult pregnancy doesn't always seem to understand at all, it's like they were fine, so why am I making a big deal over it.

angels1 · 03/09/2010 09:24

oh yes, I enjoyed the scan and seeing the baby if that counts..

SaraL77 · 03/09/2010 09:37

I can sympathise too, I look back on my last pregnancy and say I 'enjoyed' it but now i think about it, there was plenty I didn't enjoy! (and it was my first so I could rest without having to look after a toddler!)

now with my 2nd pregnancy I had worse morning sickness, heartburn started pretty much straight away, restless leg every night and I'm only 18+5!

pluses- my nails are great too and my boobs are- well I have boobs for once!

angels1- you're so lucky, my hubby would say 'are you serious' and turn over and go back to sleep if i asked for a bacon sarnie in the middle of the night- sigh ;-)

lizardqueenie- It is hard for the men I think, they don't seem to be quiet as sensitive to how we feel sometimes (not all men I know, but a lot of them) I feel the same way sometimes, a hug and some understanding would go a long way- it's not difficult but they just don't realise sometimes!

just remember it's so worth it in the end!

hmmSleep · 03/09/2010 09:41

Come and join us on the November antenatal thread lizardqueenie.

We love a good moan on there, everyone's really supportive and it helps to know you're not the only one feeling a bit rubbish! I just keep telling myself not long to go now, and it'll all be worth it! (although ask me agin in 6 months when we haven't slept for months Wink)

Also, have you had your iron levels checked recently, when my iron levels were low, I felt dreadful, not just tired but really irritable and weepy. Now I'm on suppplements all the other rubbish stuff, spots, heartburn, backpain etc seem easier to cope with.

hmmSleep · 03/09/2010 09:45

Oh, and saraL77, I find those rather fetching flight socks you can buy really help with the restless legs!

SaraL77 · 03/09/2010 12:37

thanks hmSleep I'll give them a go, sure i have a pair lurking around somewhere...

Cher87 · 03/09/2010 13:11

I too know how you feel, I am now 37+3 weeks and I havent stopped moaning through my whole pregnancy!!
Some people absolutly love being pregnant and some dont!
I have been very lucky and other than feeling huge and having hidiously swollen feet I havent had any problems but still moan all the time!

I say its my god given right to moan so go right ahead!! :o

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