Babies and all the stuff they need

[redandyellowandpinkandgreen]

I had been taking a very relaxed approach to this and so far I have bought nothing. We don't have a lot of spare cash and I get the feeling a lot of things people buy end up not being used. I have been lucky enough to be given lots by friends so have loads of baby clothes, a moses basket, a bouncy chair and toys. I intend to buy a pram at some point. But that's it. I haven't bought a single, new thing so far.

Am I insane? I was trying so hard to keep to this no buying for the sake of it approach but I am feeling the peer pressure a bit now! I've seen photos of a friend's beautifully decorated nursery with every gadget known to man in it and it made me have a bit of a wobble. I'm not even intending to bother decorating a nursery yet as the baby will sleep in our room at first.

I am 29 weeks. Do you think I need to stop being so tight and go and buy things or that it will work out in the end?

no, i think you'll be just fine!
you;'re right that you don't need all those things and while a nursery looks lovely, if the baby is in with you then you won't need it, not yet anyway

Hi babies just need lots of love, warmth and food- they don't care what they're wearing or whether they've got the latest toys! I think you're being very sensible- and when baby does arrive, nct sales are great for picking things up that you light suddenly need. Nothing worse than shelling out for an expensive bouncer etc only for the baby to scream each time you put them in it!

My American cousin went overboard with her DD. Facebook album of nursery (before birth) with wooden sleighbed style cot, matching everything, cupboard full of expensive little dresses. Stopped myself from telling her that when her DD eventually turned up she won't care less if the curtains and bedsheets match. She'll be too exhausted with night feeds! And also too happy with the baby to care to be honest.

You sound like you have enough things and are quite prepared. Your friends will probably give you lots gifts when the baby is born too.

Babies need their mum, shops that sell baby "products" want your money.

I was told by many friends that I would never, ever manage to have a child without buying a baby monitor and a microwave. I did manage, funnily enough.

I did have a moses basket and a baby bath given to me as hand me downs, and although they were great for the 6 weeks DD fitted into them, I could have managed without those too if it had come to it.

The things I really did use over and over were the sets of cotton cloths and muslins I bought. There are still some round the place lining the cots of DD's dolls. DD is now 6!!!!

And after your baby has pooped and sicked over her clothes they might as well have been the standard white things you can buy with 6 in a pack.

I think what you're doing sounds fine. I'm trying to get a lot of stuff (other than car seat and probably pushchair) secondhand - babies just need to be fed, warm, comfortable, clean and loved. In my opinion money will be better spent on older children when they start wanting a bike, a pony, a skiing trip, etc.

I agree with you in principle, but there's nothing lovelier (or wasn't for me at least) than finishing off a gorgeous nursery. I shopped, laid new flooring, painted, built furniture etc between weeks 20 and 30 when I had DS, and I loved the finished room and used to spend hours sitting in it imagining life with my new baby. He's 3 now and moved into the bigger bedroom, but his lovely nursery is still there looking gorgeous. I'm 12 weeks pregnant now and am hoping for a girl partly because I'd like to re-do the nursery. (Obviously, I will be happy just to have a healthy baby though!)

You sound like you have a very sensible approach. No need at all to have a gorgeous looking nursery etc. The only things that you haven't mentioned that I would think you might need are a car seat and a sling of some sort.

DD's room was our spare room and we kept it that was until she moved into it at 6 months- having a spare bed for PIL to stay was much more important to us in the early days.

OTOH there is nothing wrong with having a beautiful nursery etc but it really is down to personal preference, don't feel pressured into it because it's what people expect.

We didn't sort out a "nursery" until DD2 was about 6 months old. Even then its just consisted of new curtains, light shade and some stickers. Once she's older we'll do her room properly - but at the minute all she does is sleep in it - so little point!

I have just painted our spare room and it has taken me ages, my husband plays computor games and i love diy so took it upon myself to do this task. I am knackeded now at 31wks I really haven't a clue how tired i will be when my baby arrive. If you don't want to go full on nursary and the room needs freshening up maybe just a coat of white now and then when baby has arrived at least it will feel clean and you won't have to paint the room, you can just put up pictures etc.

Also I think the only thing you may need to purchase is a car seat, if your luckey you could buy one form a friend, if not look out for offers and sales.

Be strong and don't bend to the powers of retail. Good Luck

You're being very sensible! We were in a similar position - friends and family gave us pretty much all the clothes we needed, toys, a crib, a travel system, a swinging chair... I think for DS, we bought a Moses Basket (got good use from it because he was dinky and I was still squishing him in there past 4 months!), a baby gym and a breastfeeding pillow. Later on, a cotbed and a different buggy, but that was much later. If your friends have given you most things you think you need, then that's great!

Spend as little as possible, because babies really don't need much - just clean clothes, cuddles and milk! (and there's plenty to spend on once they pass toddler stage...)

I do understand why people go overboard in decorating a nursery though - it's an important part of nesting. But if you want your baby sleeping in with you (in your bed or in a basket/crib) this can always be sorted out later. ( I didn't touch the bedroom that was to be DS's - it was full of my craft stuff and assorted junk. I went in at my due date to be induced and my PIL cleared it out in my absence. Was very grateful but I still shudder slightly, thinking of them going through all my stuff.)

My MW said it was very important to make something for your baby before she/he is born - a cloth book, a quilt, a cardigan if you're into crafts, or maybe a family photo album, or something else you'd like him to keep forever, or that you can enjoy seeing her use when she's tiny. I think this is a great thing to do especially if you're short of cash - you can make a basic floor quilt very easily, using fabric from Freecycle, friends or clothes from charity shops.

That's exactly what we've done and our little bundle is perfectly happy with nothing but a bouncer, a crib, and a big heap of second hand clothes (currently all a little big for him) no pram even - just a meitai and wrap that I've made. Oh, and an enourmous stack of the really cheap white ikea handtowels - the ones that are about 50p each..

Even the cloth nappies that I've bought I'm not entirely sure were worth it - if you buy disposables in bulk the cost difference is pretty tiny, and the disposables seem much less bulky and more comfortable for him.

If you've got baby clothes, a moses basket, a bouncy chair and toys and intend to buy a pram you're sorted!

The only other thing I would say is worth considering is a sling. They are fantastically useful. It means you can still have two hands free and get on with stuff if your baby wants to be held / sleep. They're much less faff than prams, especially for short journeys (no struggling with steps etc) The wrap-around ones are the best IMO. It's also lovely to have your baby close and snuggly, especially when they're very little, and being close to you actually helps your baby regulate their breathing.

A thought about decorating - if you have free time, it's worth considering doing eat now, even if your baby won't use it for a long time. Babies eat your free time! Time will be a precious commodity once the baby is born, and you may wish you'd done it when you actually had some!

HTH

Doing it now! don't know where the "eat" came from - I must be hungry!

I wish I'd been that sensible..

I couldn't have lived without a baby monitor (we sleep on a different floor to DS) but aside from that the only thing we should have bought was the cot/mattress/car seat. We have a house full of rubbish, most of it hardly used.

We've done the same OP. We just paid our last debt repayment and wanted to wait until that was all out of the way before buying for the baby. All we have so far are heaps of clothes and blankets - some from when DC's were babies and some from family (brand new and second hand). My sister will give us her moses basket as her baby will have outgrown it before DD2 comes along, and we will buy the travel system early oct. I did think that this time around I would love to be able to buy all the cute things that we couldn't afford with the other 2 (though they did have a lovely nursery done on a budget), but when it came to it, I just couldn't justify buying stuff that I know you don't end up using, or stuff that really just isn't necessary and takes up space.

Baby will be in our room at first, but will then share with DD. Sometime soon, we need to decorate that room and buy a wardrobe large enough for the two of them, but it won't be done as a 'nursery' as such because DD will be 6 by the time baby comes along.

I was in Babies r us the other day and wandered around for 1/2 hour and seriously couldn't find anything I wanted to buy (or needed to). It all just looked gaudy and overpriced to be honest, with everything in cliched pink or blue (with the odd bit of lemon thrown in). What I am going to buy, I have decided to look out for quality, unique stuff.

sorry for such a long post, but it is something I've been thinking a lot about too!

sorry

You sound spot on. I'm 36 weeks and taken exactly the same approach. Best advice I read on Mumnset is "the shops will still be open when you have your baby"!

There will be enough things to buy later down the line

Not at all... babies need precious little. Most of the gadgets are pretty pointless in my experience. Some people just enjoy the whol;e rigmarole... let your friend enjoy and you do it your way.

I have been given about 4/5 friends outgrown baby clothes, baths, brand new unused nappies and muslins, even a bugaboo (2 friends were emigrating so just wanted to get rid of it all). I totally welcome it all (in fact have too much and need to find someone else/a charity to pass some on to) as I really like second hand things (out of choice!) and it means that I haven't had to spend anything... although I have researched and purchased exactly the kind of co-sleeper bed I want and will buy an organic mattress for it, it feels nice that I have had only had to spend money on one thing that is important to me.

I am not going to be painting anything while pregnant as I am trying to avoid chemicals as much as possible... our baby will sleep with us too so no nursery necessary right now.

Thanks everyone. I am going to look in to a sling definitely and will probably get a monitor and that's it. I do find myself drawn to all the cutesy tat though and as a first time mum it's hard to feel confident enough to decide you don't need it.

I like the idea about making something. I knit, as does mum and mum-in-law so I am getting a lovely shawl and many, many cardigans and things that will be lovely so the baby will have some new things and gifts I'm sure.

I need to stop worrying!

OP I think you're quite right - we were given a load of stuff but went a bit mad and bought loads as well - and we're just not going to use it all. We have so many clothes that she'll never get to wear, and we could really have put the money towards something more useful, like the mortgage!! Also with the nursery, generally I would imagine the baby will be sleeping with you for the first few weeks / months so it seems unnecessary (I'm still really looking forward to decorating our spare room in yellow and putting large Winnie the Pooh stickers up everywhere - but baby isn't going to appreciate it all, it's all for my benefit really!!). Stick to your guns and save your money. Also try somewhere like Freecycle for baby monitor and car seat - you'd be amazed at the things people just want to get rid of. Good luck! :)

Agree with others :) Only think I'd say is think about how you are going to feed baby.

We left the nursery until DD was ready to move into it. Bought a cot and painted it but didn't do "decor" until I knew what kind of things we would use
My expensive Moses basket and rocking stand was a waste of money - BF and co sleeping worked better for me.
Not sure where you are but I will have a car seat up for grabs in about a month as DD is nearly out of it!

It will be fine!

I'm 34 weeks pregnant with DC2 and am amazed at how little I've bought/spent this time round - despite having freecycled almost all of DS1's baby things last year .

I got an amazing ebay bargain last week - 65 items of 0-3 month clothes in gorgeous condition for £23 inc postage. I don't need to buy anything else now as have been collecting bits & pieces since about 20 weeks pg.

DS1 was 2 before I painted his bedroom!