please be gentle with me, i feel like such a rubbish mummy

[ilovefirelighters]

hello im usually a really hands on sahm who loves nothing more than baking, playing, dancing etc with ds not to mention the keeping up with the wonderful world of housework, but since finding out i was expecting again iv had real lulls where i just cannot move for being so tired. i know its pregnancy but i feel so guilty that im not as hands on with ds as i was. dont get me wrong hes looked after and by no means neglected but i still feel hes missing out. i keep telling myself that yes i will be tired when baby is here (due end of oct) but its a different sort of tiredness when you're pregnant. with ds i felt extreme tiredness 1st and last trimesters this time its throughout. literally as soon as im up i just want bed again. anyone got any tips or feeling the same?

Feel exactly the same, regularly beat myself up about it. I'm due at the end of Oct and a sahm. I also have SPD so regardless of whether I am tired or not (which I am most of the time) I am physically unable to do what I used to do and it is amazing how physical you need to be to keep up with a toddler I never realised how much we got up to. To top it all DD at 2.9 has just hit the terrible 2's and has been the devil incarnate for the last month which I am really struggling to deal with.

A friend's words of wisdom to me were it is good preparation for the first few months with a newborn when you are sat feeding (which I can see the sense in).

I also just keep thinking that regardless of how tired I am after the birth at least my body will be physically capable of keeping up then.

Also, make Cbeebies your friend, I hate DD to watch tv however now that I have to rest a lot we do watch together so I do feel she will get something out of it.

Plus, the summer hols are nearly over and all the toddler groups and regular activities will start again which will make it a lot easier for us.

Try to stay positive, you are not alone.

hi there
i understand how you feel but at least you are a SAHM and therefore your DS is getting the best of you when you're feeling good, even if it's not nearly as often as you'd like it to be. i work full time and am also really struggling with exhaustion at the moment; i'm under far more pressure than usual at work and hate it (i'd quit the job i weren't pregnant) and i'm 20 weeks preg. The two days off i have with my DS are obviously very precious, and yet there are times when i'm short tempered/really not the greatest of mums because i'm so tired. he seems happy as ever, and has the same top quality care from his dad and nanny, so i'm hoping i'm more conscious of my failings than he is.

Same as you sotough, the mummy-guilt is huge sometimes.

OP, it sounds to me like you're doing your best, and you can't ask any more of yourself than that! A few months of cbeebies and a bit of junk food isn't going to kill your ds. Is he old enough that you could send him to nursery some days? He could get all the art-and-crafts and activities he usually gets with you at nursery maybe? Or could you send DS and DH out at weekends to do 'quality' things to make you feel better about doing nothing through the week?

thank you- although i wouldnt wish these feelings on my worst enemy its comforting to hear im not the only 1. ds is 3.2. he goes to pre-school on a mon and fri aftrenoon he could really do with going more but with no village school and the fact i dont drive i rely quite a bit on my mum to get him there. sotough you're so right i dont think he notices at all, it really is just effecting me. my dh has been great though. its his day off tomorrow and is giving me a lie in, breakfast in bed then taking me over to spend a child free afternoon with another expecting friend. dh is a baker so is finished fairly early most days we either go together to soft play centres and he does the running around or he takes ds alone while i catch up on sleep. this all sounds like iv got a brilliant set up with a wonderful loving hubby, and i have but still even if iv had 10hrs sleep after being awake for say 3hrs im ready for bed again! the joys of pregnancy hey!