Boyfriend/pregnancy issues

[lolalo]

Hi

I originally posted on Friday about finding out I'm pregnant, and the fact my boyfriend doesn't want it.

I told him last night that I definitely want to keep the baby. He didn't speak to me all night, and this morning said he couldn't even look at me as he was so angry.

I tried to get him to talk about what we're going to do next, but he said I may as well leave as he won't speak to me. I ended up slamming the door VERY hard

I text him and told him I wanted us to stay together, but he needed to make a decision about how involved he wants to be, as this is happening. he text back saying he thinks my decision is "selfish & stupid" and hopefully in a few weeks I'll "see sense" but for now he thinks we should take a break.

I just don't know what to do, I've had to come home and pretend everything is fine to my parents, as I haven't told them about any of this yet. I'm thinking of writing him an email to explain why I want to keep the baby, as I don't think he understands.

Sorry, just needed to get that out and at the moment I don't really have anyone IRL to speak to.

Hi lolalo,

please don't be too hard on yourself and don't let your past experiences of depression make you think that your won't be a great mum. Lots of people suffer from depression at differant stages of their life but still give so much to the people around them.

I also want to just add that I have had a abortion when I was much younger. It is a very difficult thing to go through and you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. I am absolutly sure that it was the right thing to do for me at that time but if I had any doubts at all I just would not have been able to deal with it afterwards. So what I'm tryinv to say is don't let yourself get pressured into doing something you will regret as it is you who have to live with that decision.

I know I won't forgive him, but to be honest i's not about us anymore.

i just dont know if i can cope with everything that is going to come. I just want it all to go away and things to go back to the way they were, but I know thats not going to happen now

Lolalo, I just wanted to let you know that I suffered from depression 8 years ago now, I lost my job, nearly lost my husband, alienated lots of people.

Slowly, very slowly!! I came out of it, have subsequently went on to have two beautiful children and am expecting a third. Through every pregnancy and those difficult few months with newborn I have waited for a form of the depression to re-occur and it hasn't.

I know that I'm really lucky and whilst I fully support whatever decision you come to, try and not let past experiences with depression cloud your future. Good luck and MN is always here.

Hi lolalo
I really feel for ,you must be going through hell just now, I've been there myself, it's not easy but you have to start thinking about yourself and your baby now he/she needs a mum who's happy. Start off by telling your parents you need they're support more than ever and when you meet your midwife ask her about support groups in your area these are frightning at first but invaluble. your boyfriend might change his mind after he's had time for the news to sink in but only do whats right for you. Good luck x

hey lolalo, i spoke to you the other day on your thread. hope your ok, its very hard time, i understand what your going through, my partner and i just split up yesterday, after 3 yrs together 1 child already and pregnant with his 2nd, im only 20 and terrified now, but im just determined im gonna do it and not let him bring me down anymore. be strong, just try and leave him the more you ignore him the more he might come to his senses and realise that you are not messing about. take care xx

lolalo I am glad you seem to know your own mind so well, it will come in handy soon! :) I think it might be wise to tell you mother (at least) today or tomorrow, as you need to have someone to talk to to. I would be very suprised if you went ahead with an abortion from the things you have said so far so I think you should give yourself a support system. Pregnancy fucks with your hormones and makes it very hard to see clearly... it isn't fair for you to only be getting negativity from your partner and no help at all. You haven't done this on your own. Maybe remind him of that.

good luck with everything

I don't now if I do know my own mind anymore.

I want to hurt him so much, he's so manipulative, I want everyone to know what he's like.

part of me wants to go ahead with the termination just so I don't have to deal with this anymore.

If I tell my parents, they'll take over completely, I won't have any room to think.