3 yr old starting to 'act up'. Could it be because of bump?

[vtiredmummy]

Has anyone experienced similar? DS is 3, (4 in Nov) and am currently 31w pg. He is such a sweet sensitive boy, and for most of the time has expessed excitement about being a big brother, and wanting to meet the LO, wanting to give his baby toys to LO etc.

But over the last few days he has turned into a nightmare, really playing up, hitting out, not eating properly, weeing in his shoe(!) Never says anything about LO, but am wondering if it is connected?

Does anyone have similar experience or advice? Was expcting all this once LO arrives, but not sure how to handle this now and how harsh to be when he plays up...

Our DS (who was 2 in March) started being naughty when we first told him about my pregnancy (we told him at 13 weeks; am now 27 weeks) - just lots more tantrums than usual, especially at mealtimes. He's mellowed a bit since then, but I'm steeling myself for chaos as November approaches.

I'm sort of stuck between coming down hard on the behaviour and completely ignoring it, putting it down to his uncertainty about the impending arrival.

I have a few friends who had DC1 around the dame time as me and have had a DC2 this yr, so had been warned to expect it after LO is born, but it kind of took me aback for it to happen before the new arrival!

Does a normal 3 year old have enough understanding of what happens when a new born comes to stress about it? Surely he just think he's getting a new playmate? When the baby comes and he realizes it won't do bugger all but eat sleep poop and distract attention from him.. then I'd expect all hell to break loose. Mybe he is just picking up on you being more tired and not as much fun as normal.

I am 39 weeks pregnant and my DS is 3 (will be 4 in October). He was fine at first, then at around 30 weeks went through a phase of hitting me, saying it doesn't want to be my friend etc Now he seems to be back to normal and is really excited about having a baby come to live with us.

I think you may find that this is just a passing phase. Just keep giving him plenty of cuddles and reassurance (which I am sure you are doing) and I am sure things will fall back into place again.

vtiredmummy your DCs will be almost exactly the same ages as mine (DS will be 4 in Jan, am 32wks with DC2) and yes DS has been acting up, I think it's partly just typical at this age anyway, but also partly fear and insecurity about what the new DC will mean for them, whether they will still be mummy and daddy's baby etc. I have been giving DS lots of reassurance about how special he is and how much we love him etc which seems to help a bit.

You can often tell in school before you're told by mum that there's a new arrival been announced at school - they DO act up a bit before it at reception/nursery age in particular (often being really really proud they'll be big bro or sis at the same time bizarrely!)

It is my day off work today, just DS and I so I am going to go with lots of affection, love and cuddles and try my best to play (maybe not quite as energetically as him!) so fingers crossed it'll be a good day.

My DS is practically the same age as yours too (4 in Dec), and I am 31 weeks. We haven't had any real change in his behaviour as yet, though he is a little bit more clingy at the moment and is waking once every night and I have to get up. He talks about his brother a lot - makes things for him, etc - but a couple of months ago he got really upset when reading a book about new arrivals, and said he didn't want a brother anymore and didn't want him to cry all the time. So he has his fears.

We had thought about MIL coming down straight after birth to help out, but now we are thinking that it would be better to wait for 2 weeks and just be a little (struggling) family unit instead so that DS doesn't feel left out as soon as the baby came along. I had an op back in November and that really affected his behaviour for a few weeks - v upset and clingy and MIL came down then to help with him.

I would try and talk to him about any worries he has - to the other poster, yes they definitely stress about it, at almost 4 they have a huge awareness of what's going on around them, but not necessarily the understanding, and it's really important to find out what's going on in his little head. Quite a few friends have had the same thing happen - and as you get bigger it's a constant reminder to them that something is going to happen and that you already can not do all the things you used to do with them.