Can't shake the feeling that something's wrong

[RobynLou]

I'm about 18 weeks pg. The baby was planned but it happened a lot quicker than expected (BFP 2 weeks after starting to try...)
I still don't feel like I've really accepted that I'm pg, I can't stop thinking that there's something dreadfully wrong with the baby, and so I'm going along waiting for them to discover something at the 20week scan, and in the meantime trying to not get too attached to the baby.
I haven't felt it move yet but there's no reason why there should be any problems - Me and DH are both young and healthy, This will be our 2nd baby, I've never had a miscarriage or any other problems.
I just can't shake the feeling of dread.
I had quite dehabilitating pnd with DD and I'm worried about that recurring.
I really want to enjoy being pg and be excited about our baby but I just can't bring myself to be

Sorry that you are feeling like this. Think you need to talk to your MW.
Take care.

I don't have one atm... I was registered with our local hospital which is where I had DD but I had a horrible time there and after a few horrible dealings with them this time round I decided I couldn't go back there so have transferred somewhere else. I'm waiting to have my booking app at the new hospital.

I just want to sleep all the time, I'm finding 3yo DD really difficult to deal with atm.

DH is so excited about another baby, I just can't stop worrying about loosing the baby or how I'll cope with 2 if everything's ok.

It's probably the PND from before priming your mind for these sorts of thoughts.
You should speak to your midwife and not keep it to yourself, if your booking appointment is soon. Wanting to sleep all the time is quite normal in pregnancy, so I wouldn't worry about that as a stand alone thing. Good luck Robyn

Just wanting to sleep all the time is a good sign.

You are probably just overwhelmed because you got pregnant so quickly and didn't have time to get used to the idea.

It is not long until your scan now hopefully it will alay all of your fears.

The best of luck to you

thank you for being so nice, I don't think I've ever quite got back to 100% after the pnd, and being so tired and feeling overwhelmed is dragging me back down a bit.

I'd always been so 'together' until I had DD and I still just find it so difficult to talk to people when something's wrong, I always put on an "everything's fine" front.

DH does so much around the house to help I feel so guilty, I work too, but only pt and DH basicly does everything - puts on laundry in the mornings, tidys up.washes up and hangs out laundry when he gets home. I'm just struggling to get through the days with DD and just about manage to cobble together dinner.

never thought I'd end up like this, I thought I was one of lifes toughies.

I'm bawling my eyes out now.

Robyn, don't be bawling your eyes out.
Pregnancy with a toddler is a tough path, even witout factoring unresolved PND into the mix.
Your DH is great - but so he should be, tbh - you are not in 100% health, and that's what the vows are for. If he had a broken leg would you expect him to do everything? Well, it's the same thing for you. So let him take care of you now that you need it.
I do think you need to speak to someone. The 'everything's fine' front you put on suggests that you wouldn't speak to a friend. I'm not in the UK so I don't know if it's possible to speak to a midwife fairly quickly? But if it is possible, that's the route I would take. Toughies need to take steps to protect their strength

It's so hard when you're tired and can't get a break. I know I've frequently just wanted a week or so off being pregnant to get some sleep, not feel so tired and get my life back to normal!

Don't wait for your booking appt if its too far away, go and see your GP and tell them how you're feeling.If you've had pnd before it's important to start dealing with these feeling asap! Big hugs...

I think I could go and talk to our lovely HV, she came round to see us a few times when I was diagnosed with pnd.
I will, I'll ring tomorrow.
You're absolutely right about DH supporting me, that's what I'd say to anyone else, I'm very good at advising other but rubbish at taking my own advice and applying it to myself!
DD was unplanned so this time I was really looking forward to a planned pg which I could enjoy without all the worries of an unplanned one...oh the irony.

Good luck Robyn, I hope you are feeling a bit better now?

yes. have admitted to myself there's a problem, and I know where to go for help this time, I did't when I had pnd.

thankyou for talking to me, I must try and sleep now - I'm exhausted all day then find it impossible to sleep at night...

My auntie told me that just lying in the bed thinking about icecream or trips to the zoo is 90% as effective as proper sleep. So never fear insomnia.
Sleep well, and hope you speak to someone and get yourself looked after soon.

And congrats!