Scared of how I'm gonna cope with 2

[Bensmum76]

Hi all,
I have a ds almost 3 and am 13 weeks pregnant with no2. Am just getting over morning sickness but still feeling quite tired and grim at times.
Today has been a terrible day. Dh is stressed out with work and got up at 4.45 this morning waking me up having a shower in our ensuite. He then felt the need to go upstairs ( we live in a town house) and creaked around disturbing our son. My alarm went off at 6.30 so I could have a shower and wash my hair before getting our son up.
My ds and I have both been exhausted today but I have been so short tempered and literally screamed at him several times. I feel so guilty and keep apologizing to him for behaving so badly. I feel like I'm losing it and cannot imagine how I will cope with two.
I suffered quite badly with PND with my ds and only started feeling less overwhelmed about a year ago. I feel like giving up.
Please tell me it is normal to feel like this sometimes!

well I am having one of those days too and it's prob about the 5th one this pregnancy (33 weeks tomorrow) I just keep reminding myself that at least when I have 2 I won't be pregnant!
Hope you feel better tomorrow

I have twins of 16 months and twins due in the new year. I also had bad pnd. I'm going to ask the dr to prescribe happypills from birth to try and avoid that again! I get days where I am tired and short too but you just plod on with it. Could you put your son in a nursery or get a relative to have him for the odd hour or two so you can get time to rest? Don't despair, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get through it all fine. Don't beat yourself up over screaming at him either, we all have off days. Were only human!!

Thanx guys. My ds is in nursery 2 days a week and with my mil 1 day a week as I work Monday to Wednesday. I think it's just been a particularly bad day today

I totally understand how you're feeling Bensmum76. I have a 2.5 yr old and am 31 weeks pregnant - im trying to put them to the back of my mind but i am panicking like crazy at the thought of dealing with 2 of them!

I also keep snapping at DS1 and then feeling wracked with guilt at losing my temper with him!

Im sure itl all work out fine once baby is here - its normal to worry about how we will cope!

Heres to tomorrow being a better day!

2 is easier than 1 once you get into it

calm down and relax

use the tv and cuddles on the couch - use friends to help out and nursery (he'll be eligible for pre-school soon)

it's normal to feel like that but seriously the more kids you have the easier it is as you are not the constant entertainment - but are the referee

im scared 2, i have a son 20 months turns 2 in december, and im pregnant again. 4 the last 19 month ive not had a nights sleep as he still doesnt sleep, i feel so ill at the moment, just exhausted and generally awful all time and i just dont stop. not to mention the fact that ive only just turned 20. but my hopes is that its not gonna be as bad as i think, and my son seems much better behaved when hes in company with other children, so i just hope its all gonna be ok

May I join this club please?!

Am 32 weeks with DC2 and have a 3.7yo DS who is pretty hard work, constant questionning, attention-seeking, and lots of whining, and also waking up lots in the night ATM, am exhausted and terrified!!

(Oh, and I also had PND last time and am stressed about it coming back again.)

Keep telling myself millions of women have 2 or more children so how hard can it be?!!

I feel the same. I have 8 month old and due again in november so will be less than a year between them. Constantly worrying how i'm going to cope. DD is not sleeping well at the moment so i'm really suffering from lack of sleep so just feel so tired and emotional so much of the time which makes everything seem worse. Just can't imagine how i'll cope with two.

it depends what type of children they have in the 1st place lol, mine sounds like yours jacksmybaby, never stops whinging lol has a paddy at everything, and he has 6 bottles through the night which is hard and wont even go in his own bed. you see all these people and they have children that just are soo good and they will sit quietly in the pram without screaming and trying to get out. i hope this next ones going to be good, but i wont hold my breath lol

I'm terrified too. Have a 20 mo DD and am 11 weeks pregnant. I had quite a rough time with DD (third degree tear and prolapse) and the first 6 months of her life were probably some of the most miserable 6 of mine. I don't like being pregnant and am not keen on the baby stage. Just wish I could fast forward a couple of years to when they're 2 and 4

i had a bad birth pushme. had a big heamorrhage. and then again when ds was 4 weeks old, they never could find what the cause was for it and now am terrified again, plus i was in and out of hospital all my pregnancy so not really looking forward to this pregnancy

There is a 2.6 yr age gap between mine and i remember feeling exactly like this. It is easier than you fear, there are still bad days but plenty of good ones and the best thing is you are so much more relaxed with number 2 you actually enjoy his baby months!! Mine are 3 and 5 now and can actually play together for about half an hour before trying to jump on each others heads!!
I will never forget ds1 kissing his new brother on the head and telling him he loved him , its those moments that get you through!!

Good luck

Glad to hear that there has been some screeming at little ones today/this week as it makes me feel a bit better. I screamed at my 20 mth old today so loud it hurt my throat and we both ended up in tears. I felt so guilty (all becasue he wouldn't eat his lunch - stupid I know! but he would even taste it!). I am 29 weeks pregnant with my next and often wonder how I will cope too. I am still trying to figure out if having 2 under 2 will be easier than being heavily pregnant running around after one?! It is overwhelming sometimes but I just keep thinking millions manage!

ohh okiecokie dont feel guilty you are pregnant your bound to shout sometimes them hormones are a terrible thing, seriously everyday my 20 month old creates and paddys and screams throws things, he doesnt really have a good day, he might have a good 5 mins. my little one as been so spoilt thats his problem. not doing same this time. he still makes me smile though lol :)

It's good to read all your comments, maybe we can use this thread as our support for the next few months and stop each other feeling so guilty! Xx

yes bensmum defanitly. cant really talk to no1 else about this pregnancy because mum and dad soo mad with me, and say its gonna be soo hard, which yes i know it is children are hard and with 2 aswell, but i think im gonna cope ok, i do now, and more to the point ive gotta cope lol. hope your feeling ok today bensmum76 xx

I'm there with you ladies - have a 14 month old and am 10 weeks preg. At the moment I'm really done in by morning sickness and can't remember feeling well- it's hard to imagine I won't still feel like this when the new baby is here!

Also we only have 2 rooms so new baby will be in with us until it's pretty much sleeping through, then it will go in with DS, neither of which I'm looking forward to...!

arrrr im having such a bad day, just want to cry and cry, firstly my ds has been a nightmare, then im sick of doing all this on my own and been on my own, when my partner gets in hes just moody with me(thought i was meant to be the moody one) and then i ask his mum to watch ds just for a few hour as its my uncles bday and all the familys going out, as i feel like i just need a break and she says nooo. i feel so alone in all this. partners announced hes going round wakefield tonight, he just sees me been pregnant as an excuse to take the pi** out of me. god listen to me rambling on :(

Aww beckie90 chin up. Iv had a bad day too. :(

Just woke up with those horrible hormones on the rampage again and made up a huge arguement with my OH over something that i was being completely ureasonable about! My poor OH, i hate being pregnant! The only part i love is being so close to my beautiful baby girl but i just hate the fact i am practically disbled in a way - cant do anything without feeling exausted and christ am i dying for a night out with my girlfriends!!

9 more weeks i suppose...then the fun really starts! I just feel bad for my DS as i am noticing the difference in him since ive been snappy and moody and i dont want it to affect him cos i know he has lots of tough learning stages coming soon and want me and him to have that bond still so we can get through them without him being affected.

Its hard work all this being a Mummy lark isnt it!

Why wont you MIL have him for a few hours? and why cant ur partner stay home and watch him or was he supposed to be coming with?

hes going on a stag doo, but only told me yestaday well didnt even say then just said i might be going, but it feels like i barely see him anymore, its so lonely, she never does have him hes 20 month and id say shes had him 7 times at the most in 20 months and not one a those time was for over night and shes his grandma makes me mad sometimes, my mum has him when she can and she works full time. i know what you mean by disabled im not even far on and this time i just dont have the energy for anything just got in bath and couldnt even wash my hair just utterly exhausted think im low on iron again.
its very hard work yummymummy. want to get a chinese but feel so sick i dont know if i wanna lol

Lol. I could literlly just spend my entire next 9 weeks moaning i think.
My MIL is the same, she says 'oh he's the light of my life' yet ask her to babysit and shes suddenly really busy! She never has him fr a night over, my mum literlly does 90% of the babysitting and shes 64 so cant cope as much as my MIL couold whos in her 50's. I know theyre our children but still it would be nice even for the kids to spent the night at nanny's, he loves it up there.

Can u not tell ur OH he has to find a babysitter if he wants to go as uv had this outing planned longer than him - y do the men always assume the women deal with the child care issues??plus ur pregnant and stressed and need a night off!

To make u feel a little better, i had a few crap months around 10-16 weeks and then in the 2nd trimester i felt a lot better and more energetic, now im in the last trimester im back to being tired and just pissed off at being so big that i can hardly even dress my DS for bed or play with him cos my belly gets in the way! :(

When is ur DS bday? Have u introduced and of the 'mummys going to have a new baby' talks yet? - howz he taking them?

he doesnt really understand, hes 2 in december told him hes gonna have a brother or sister but im 100% its gonna be a boy but he just looks at me confused lol. i could spend the nxt 30 week moaning lol. awww god its gonna drag. no hes gone already got him to wash my hair haha as i just didnt have the energy and then he went. yea his mum doesnt even work, shes got loadsa time, the only babysitter i ever have is my mum n dad. his mother didnt even buy him a christmas prezzi last year, she phoned me christmas morning and said i havent got anything yet cause i want to buy him clothes so i'll take you and you can pick i'll give you a ring but that call never came, she winds me up tbh, shes selfish

Hi guys, had s busy day yesterday, some bits good, some v bad. Dh and I took our ds to a friends party at a soft play place and he behaved wonderfully and had lots of fun, then as we were leaving he had s meltdown and dh had to carry him to the car. He then refused to get in the car and I ended up loosing my temper with him. Dh and I argued and I ended up in tears. Ds calmed down quite quickly though once I explained to him the mummy and daddy feel upset by his behaviour. We then stayed at my in laws last night and they bathed my ds and put him to bed and he was a star. I think my ds is going through a bit of s phase, he's coming up to 3 and is becoming much more confident which is a good thing, I just don't think it helps when I'm feeling so tired and snappy.
Here's to a good day for all xx

can i join please!!
dd has just turned 2,is a tantruming screaming nightmare with us,and a polite little angel with everyone else,doesnt sleep through the night and wakes up every morning at 5am! arrrrggghhhhhh!!!!

i am 38 weeks tomorow!!

i still have no idea how im going to cope...totally ignoring the fact i can barely cope with 1,
dp and i are at the end of our tethers...just hoping that somehow we will pull through.

so good to hear we are not alone.

arrgh so worn out today lol, sounds the same as my boys skyeplus.
i was up all night last night im just stressed out, well it looks like im gonna end up a single mummy to 2. thinken im gonna cope as only i can cope with ds tantrums but only thing really bothering me is the partner. suppose to be moving to a new house in a week and half think im backing out of that. i always thought that id prove my family wrong and wasnt gonna end up a single mum, but hay ho, its not the end of the world i'll manage, well i hope i do :(