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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

annoying questions...

17 replies

Oscalito · 20/08/2010 13:24

I seem to have a foetus wedged up into my rib-cage and it's making me grumpy, so I'd quite like to start a thread about the annoying, inappropriate questions that a few people seem compelled to ask pregnant women. I know a girl who, every time she sees me, says 'So how are you feeling, really tired?'. It's like, of course I'm bloody tired, I'm working full time and growing a human, but I'm also excited and happy. Last night we were standing outside the pub and after that question she asked me, really loudly, in front of my husband and a friend, and just as a bloke was walking past, 'So are your boobs still getting bigger?'

OK, she's one of these 'outspoken' people, and I'm more reserved so I try and be understanding, but still.... Not to mention that she kept going on about how much bigger I'd got in five weeks. It's like, you're supposed to get bigger! I would rather that than it got smaller, or didn't grow.

Why do people think that because you're pregnant you have to answer any old question they want to throw at you?

OK, rant over. Going for walk to dislodge baby.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lurcherlover · 20/08/2010 16:20

I love it when people ask "so was it planned?" I feel like replying "I'll tell you if you tell me the last time you had careless unprotected sex!" Haven't had the guts to say that yet though...

YummyMummy1208 · 20/08/2010 16:30

I so love a good moan!

I hate all the same questions every person asks you when they havent seen you for a while...at the checkout, at family gatherings, on a night out when you bump into old friends etc....

When are you due?
Do you know what you're having?
Have you picked any names?
How is your OH feeling about it all?

and on and on....the same group of questions every time!

and then the whole 'gosh how many weeks did you say you had left?!' whilst looking down at my belly like im about to pop yesterday with that horrified 'you're going to be huge!' expression. argh! Thats the most annoying! its like - im 7 months pregnant, im supposed to be bloody huge, what did you expect!?

So i totally rant with you Oscalito!

How far gone are you? And have you managed to dislodge that baby yet? Mines refusing to get stuck in there due to there almost being no room left for her to move, shes been on the wriggle all day tossing and turning.

Ryuk · 20/08/2010 16:47

I've had a few male friends say, with utmost sympthy and concern, 'you must be getting really scared/nervous/worried about the birth by now!'

Er no, actually. I'm not expecting it to be pleasant, but I've done enough research to feel in control so far and I'm not actually scared. I'm guessing it's because they're not sure how the details work, so all they've got to go on is the most basic 'large object, small hole' idea, thus are assuming it's automatically scary?

Original poster

Oscalito · 20/08/2010 16:49

28 weeks today YummyMummy. And I'm starting to get the horrified looks too. Still got 10 more weeks of work so god knows what people will be saying by then....

And no, it's not moving. It seems to be stuck under the right-hand side of my ribcage, digging in.... I think there's just less room in there now and it does seem to be a big baby, which is partly why I'm sensitive about people going on about my size, I don't care about being big, I'm just scared of getting it out!

As for, was it planned? I have only had that once, from my sister...! And it's a very strange question.

OP posts:

MissCalamity · 20/08/2010 17:40

I got on a couple of occasions "Are you planning on breastfeeding" by male colleagues, which I found just a bit creepy strange!
Even though I was, I just always gave a vague "I don't know yet.." and waddled away!

gingerkirsty · 20/08/2010 17:42

I am at the people who ask whether the pregnancy was planned - I never had anyone say that to me, but if they had I was all prepared with a response "I am sure you didn't mean to be so rude so I'll let that pass" - hopefully this will shame them into silence!

PaigeTurner · 20/08/2010 18:12

I have had "who's the father" a few times. OK I am single, but if I wanted it to be broadcast, surely I would have mentioned it?

AnyFuleKno · 20/08/2010 18:35

I know it's annoying, but when you make small talk with someone who's pregnant you literally can't stop yourself asking the same questions

LittleSilver · 20/08/2010 18:41

lurcherlover I am SO going to try to remember that brilliant response! However seeing that IT has cut me off twice due to forgetting my password twice in two weeks it seems unlikely I will.

wigglesrock · 20/08/2010 18:59

lurcherlover 2 people have asked me "was it planned", we have only started to tell people and both of these were mums from my dd1 school!!! Don't know what they discuss when I'm not there at the school gates .

I have managed to use the "well had to do something at half time in the World Cup" but husband may ban me from using it as he feels it reflects badly on his last ability!!

japhrimel · 21/08/2010 05:39

One thing about people knowing we've had miscarriage in the past is that no-one I know asks if it was planned!

It annoys me when people push to ask whether you've picked out names and if so, exactly what those names are. We've told close family, but I want to keep it to ourselves otherwise, partly in case we change our minds and partly because I want something that everyone doesn't know! If you asks "have you picked out names?" and I just say "yes", it means I don't want to tell you anymore. I've started lying about it and saying "no" so I don't get pressured to share everything.

And I am fed up of getting startled looks when people ask when I'm due and I say december. I feel the size of a house as it is, even though apparently we're both normal!

DGmum · 21/08/2010 07:16

I'm now 38+4 and I think I have a fairly neat bump but a colleague at work exclaimed in conversation in one form or another each time I saw her: 'who ate all the pies?'. A friend who I haven't seen that frequently always threw 'fat' into her texts to me: 'see you Friday fat girl!' I put this obsession with size down to neither of them having been pregnant before, although it's not the first thing I'd say to others in the days pre-pregnancy!

Ryuk · 21/08/2010 15:18

Pretty much from the beginning, people have asked me whether we know yet if it's a boy or a girl. I know it's not reasonable to expect them to know you don't find out until 20 weeks (I didn't know that until getting pregnant) but it's getting really annoying.

ButtonAzure · 22/08/2010 09:08

A nine year old boy at the school where I work asked me 'miss, did you plan your baby?'

Mam2Be · 22/08/2010 09:48

I've had all of these, it was really starting to get to me last week and I thought if one more person asks me "insert annoying question here" one more time I would punch them in the nose!

My favourite is " So when are you due??"..5 weeks "Oh that's absolutely ages away, I can't see you lasting that long"..WTF?? How do you know that??? and actually 5 weeks doesn't seem that long away when I've been pregnant for 35 weeks!

I think next time I have a baby I'll just have little cards printed out with FAQ's on them.. save the fuss!

sweetnitanitro · 22/08/2010 09:57

I used to hate it when people asked if I knew what I was having- that one is normal enough- but then follow it up by asking what I was hoping for. I used to say 'a Ferrari', that usually shut them up.

I am expecting DC2, I already have a DD who is almost 2. I am only 14 weeks and I'm already blardy sick of people saying "let's hope it's a boy this time!" What's wrong with girls?

BagofHolly · 22/08/2010 10:49

I haaaaate the "was it planned?" question. I long to reply "Not at all, we normally do it up the bum but he slipped."

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