Telling people

[Deliaskis]

Hi all,

Am now almost 14 weeks and scans etc. are OK so I feel like I am ready for people to know but unsure how to go about it. People at work and those I see on a regular basis know already (they would have noticed the expanding waistline even if I hadn't been throwing up every now and then), but there are a number of e.g. my friends from uni who I was once very close to, still am in some ways, but don't see or even email/call very often. That sounds like we're not close at all, but they are still the kind of people I could call if I had a problem and I would jump in my car straight away to go and help one of them if they needed it. So we're close, just not geographically.

So anyway, I'm not really an 'announcement' kind of person, hate sending generic texts to everyone I know etc. (in fact don't text much at all actually), but not sure how to let people know. I was thinking of just waiting until I see them (probably October) but then they might be hurt that I didn't tell them earlier.

I know facebook is a bit of a no no, I just feel weird calling these people individually for what is going to seem like no other reason apart from to announce my pregnancy. Out of four friends, I know one has been TTC for DC2 since DC1 was born 4-5 years ago, one is TTC right now, one is desparate to find a man so she can have a baby and the other is desparate to find a man full stop. I just feel like either way there are ways in which this news might create mixed feelings amongst some of them. I know they will be happy for me, but I just want to tell them in the way they will want to be told as it were. I can't seem to find a way to broach this without feeling like I may be 'rubbing their faces in it' if any of them are feeling sensitive about this at the moment. For all I know, one or more of them might have a recent mc and I would hate to do this in a way which would create more upset. I just don't see a 'good' way to do this.

as a group of friends we are more likely to email or fb message rather than call, and we meet up once or twice a year.

I may be over-thinking this, but any experiences from people in similar situations would be helpful.

D

Email is good - that way they have time to gather their thoughts etc before responding if your happy news is potentially going to make them feel sad about their own issues.

pS Congrats!

Tbh i wouldn't contact them just to tell them i was pregnant,i would wait til you see them next.

numptysmummy that was kind of what I was planning on, then I wondered if that might be hurtful as if I was keeping it from them (esp. as other less close friends know just cos we see them lots) in case they couldn't deal with it.

Tis tricky...

D

If it was me i wouldn't think anything of it if we weren't in contact very much - would find it stranger if someone contacted me just to tell me they were pregnant.

Although numptys suggestion would work well if you are still only slightly showing, I don't think you looming into view with a huge bump would be very tactful to friends who are struggling to conceive.

So, if you have no plans to meet in the near future, I'd go with email. Then, if someone is upset (understandably) by your news they can get over it in private before having to reply.

Think I'm going to go with email. I think if I were in a difficult situation, I would want to read and digest and maybe cry before putting my 'face' back on and replying. I wouldn't want to be put on the spot in any way.

Thanks for thoughts.

Dx

Glad you are being thoughtful about your friends who are having a difficult time TTC :) so many people don't bother and just shove a scan pic on FB! Ask how they are in the email too but dont ask if they have had any luck.. might stress them further. Glad you are doing it now as october you might be showing and will be a shock they need to get over before seeing you.