Ten weeks pregnant and already seriously showing - but not ready to tell people

[edeluna]

I'm ten weeks tomorrow, but seriously starting to show. I've already outgrown my regular jeans and am down to alternating between two roomier pair.

It's my fibroids, not a giant baby. I've got at least three of them and one is about 12cm. They made me look slightly pregnant before I was pregnant and now are making me look very pregnant before I'm even ready to start telling people.

I've got three more weeks until my next scan and would really like to be sure everything is ok before I start telling people, but I'm becoming really paranoid that people at work are staring at my belly and wondering. And at this rate I can't imagine what I'll look like in another week, let alone three.

I'm trying to conceal it up by wearing loose shirts/cardigans as a top layer, but I feel like I'm busting out of them. And it's really not my imagination.

Anyone have any words of wisdom? I'm really stressed out over this.

Head off the comments at the pass. often people will sort of "look", then catch your eye to see if you will kind of "OK" the question iyswim?

Unless you have a very nosy outgoing secretary like mine, who will just ask straight out.

Because I am, ahem, was quite slim and small, I started to show at 9 weeks, or at least I thought I did. Fair enough if the fibroids make a difference but, on the whole, I reckon that we think we are a lot bigger early on than we really are. I was paranoid that folk were staring at my enormous tummy at 9 weeks, but I later discovered that the people staring, weren't - they hadn't a clue I was pregnant.

It may not be your imagination that your tummy is expanding, but there is a chance that people are not yet putting two and two together. If they are - brazen it out. As LittleSilver says, head off the comments at the pass. If you plan to wait another few weeks before announcing, you might have to be a bit "yes, I did eat all the pies, what do you have to say about that?" about it.

Having seen photos of myself early on when I thought I was obviously pregnant, I'd say that if you can stay in normal clothes, it probably won't be obvious.

Could you make some comments about the massive takeaways/cheesecakes you've been having recently, and imply that you're not eating that healthily and thinking of going to slimming world or something then people (if they are thinking anything) might just assume you're putting on weight?

can you buy some nice floaty tops and wear them with trousers? that way your legs still look normal and people will assume it is just the cut of the tops. Gap has quite a few in at the moment- nrmal section not maternity

Thanks, everyone. I really hope people aren't putting two and two together just yet, even though my normal clothes really are feeling quite snug.

Hopefully most of it really is just paranoia. It's not as if anyone's rushing to give me their seat on the Tube yet. But when I had a scan of my fibroids earlier this year when I was thinking about TTC, the ultrasound tech commented that my womb was about the size of a 4?5 month pregnancy, so I really don't think it's in my head. Plus I'm fairly petite (though not skinny), so the extra belly seems really noticeable to me.

I did pick up a few things at the Gap and even a pair of maternity jeans yesterday, but I think they just make me look even more pregnant. I'll look around for more flowy-type tops.

Thanks again.

Have you given anything up in the lead up to the pregnancy? Smoking/caffeine/alcohol that people know about?

A friend of mine gave up all three with a view to having a baby and we all assumed she'd porked out a bit because she gave up her all her vices so didn't dare mention anything! It helped at social occasions for her too as we all knew she on a health kick.

You might have already covered your tracks and not realise.

Also, Congratulations

Actually, I'm with LittleSilver, in that most people who have even a modicum of tact may have noticed your expanding belly, but either think that you've been on the pies or reckon you are pregnant but have manners enough not to ask.

Of course, if you work with a lot of blokes they probably won;t have noticed either way!

Congratulations!

Just use a little hair band to keep your trousers together and a long top to cover up people wont notice and they certainly wont assume before you say. Good luck btw. And be happy that you look pregnant at 10 weeks and not just fat at 19 like me!

I think women who have been pregnant are much more likely to notice but much less likely to say anything. I wore loose tops and just talked about eating all the pies if anyone looked askance at me. Leggings are brilliant under them.

And congratulations :)

LadyBiscuit that's very true.

I would probably spot a pregnancy quite early but I definitely wouldn't say anything until the pregnant person announced it. Depending on how well I knew them I might then say 'I did wonder if you were but I didn't want to say'.

edeluna congratulations on your pregnancy! You sound very similar to me- I also have 3 fibroids. At 5 weeks, I looked 3 months pg and now I'm 7 months, I look full term (and then some!). I was SURE people would notice the expansion round my belly at 10 weeks or or so (especially as I was in maternity jeans at that stage!), but like you I wanted to wait until I had a scan that confirmed everything was ok. When I finally told friends, they were genuinely surprised. I think people are far less observant than you might expect; it just seems so obvious to you because you are very conscious of your size.

If you don't mind me asking, how are the fibriods? Mine were really sore when I was going through the initial rapid expansion months, but don't be afraid to see your consultant as often as you need if you are worried. They are very happy to check that aches and pains are fibroids and not anything else.
Good luck.

Someone at work said "There is a rumour going around that you are pregnant" before I was ready to say. He obviously wanted to know if it was true and was trying to ask me tactfully.
I said "yeah - I've heard that people are saying that - haha"
It didn't leave him any the wiser.

Thanks again to everyone for the brilliant suggestions and moral support.

@moominmarvellous I gave up tea and alcohol (have never smoked) before TTC, but haven't made any public statement about it at work. I sort of have the reputation as the healthy one in the office anyway, so people probably wouldn't think much of it. I have been having a lot more ice cream this summer than usual, so maybe I just need to declare one of my occasional sugar fasts. :)

@shieldbug So you know exactly what I'm going through. I'm really hoping the fibroids will shrivel up during this pg and not return, but I'm afraid I'm probably stuck with them. They gave me some serious discomfort around week 5, so much so that I went to the EPU at UCH and had a scan. Doctors convinced me that taking paracetamol was ok, and within a few days the pain had gone. I've been fine for the past 5 weeks -- just tired and slighlty nauseous, like almost everyone, but no pain that seems fibroid-related.

Did yours degenerate? I've heard it's very painful -- but makes childbirth feel like a holiday. Doctors have said there's a good chance I'll need a c-section, but I'm hoping I'll be able to deliver naturally. Thanks for sharing; it helps to hear from others in a similar situation.

Er, can't you tell them it's fibroids? . That's the good thing about being fat, no bugger knows when you're pg :o

If they ask, I mean. Not suggesting you walk into work and announce you've got fibroids :o

edeluna Unfortunately my fibroids grew during pg until about week 20 then stopped. One may have vanished, but the other 2 are still large. The consultant assures me they will shrink afterwards. I had some serious pain, and like you had to take some painkillers, but it wasn't bad enough to be degeneration. It has continued to hurt on and off (especially when I get kicked in a fibroid!) but not too badly.
Whether you have a natural birth (as far as I can work out) seems to depend on the position of the fibroids. I'm lucky because mine are high so they won't impede birth. The other issue is whether the uterine muscle can contract around the fibroids or not. That's something they can't tell until you go into labour. So, the plan is to go for a natural birth but be prepared in case they need to do a cs. Oh yes and they'll have to take precautions because you can bleed a lot more afterwards than normal.
I hope yours prove to be in a good position too and that all goes well for you this pg. I'll try to keep an eye on this thread in case you want to ask anything and maybe let you know whether the natural birth happens or not!

@shieldbug It's great that your fibroids didn't degenerate. I'm hoping I'll be spared that ordeal as well. Even better would be for them to vanish completely.

I think one of mine is near the cervix, so may cause problems in delivery, but it's also a smaller one, so maybe not. Twelve week scan is in two weeks, so I'll get to see then how much they've grown -- oh, yeah, and how much the baby has grown, too!

Prrrrrfft, you'll be 9 months gone and people still won't be giving you their seat on the tube.

i felt huuuuuge from about 10 weeks onwards but I remember telling some people at about 20weeks and they were genuinely shocked! i was just shocked that they must have thought I'd been inhaling pies for the last 5 months . I don't think that people are actually as observant as you think they'll be. You'll be paranoid and will be noticing the bulge but I doubt other people will.