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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Apparently you don't have to push??

52 replies

dappymoo · 17/08/2010 16:22

Ok I am confused.
I've been looking into this hypnobirthing stuff as I am super nervous and anxious and aware that this will not help..!

So a book I'm reading (and some stuff on the internet) says that you can "breathe" the baby out, and that pushing is just something that has come about relatively recently due to the misconception that if instruments aren't used, we need to push ourselves.
It also says that animals don't make a big song and dance about pushing, they just "expel". And even women in comas have given birth apparently too?
And there's more about how pushinh tenses the muscles and closes sphincters etc...
This does make sense to me, and the idea of a calm, gradual birth is all very nice...

but...
Why does everything I have ever heard/ known about birth involve "PUSH!" and "the pushing stage" etc? Seriously, do we just go against everything they say in hospital. I plan to talk about this with my midwife, but are they really open in hospitals to you "refusing" to push...?
I don't really get it! Or, like a video I just watched, can you try and breathe the baby out and if you need to hurry (baby in distress) then you go for the more forced pushing?

I am so up for hypnobirthing and would love to try a homebirth but at the same time there is a worried cynic in me!

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Original poster

dappymoo · 17/08/2010 16:24

But then also the baby makes it all the way down the birth canal with the contractions, so does that mean it can make it all the way out..? Or do we just need "a few" pushes for that last hurdle...

Am I thinking about this too much?

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iwouldgoouttonight · 17/08/2010 16:26

My yoga teacher said she 'breathed' her babies out and I didn't really get what she meant at the time. But I found with both DS and DD that your body kind of does the pushing for you. You don't have to make a big conscious effort to push, you kind of can't help it. I don't remember either midwife telling me to push (apart from afterwards when the placenta wouldn't come out but that's a different story!). I kept saying i think I'm pushing and can't help it, and they were just calm and told me to do what I felt like doing.

I was very lucky and had two straightforward births though so I'm not sure if the baby was in distress or there were any complications whether you'd need to more actively push, maybe someone else will know!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 17/08/2010 16:27

I didnt really have much choice. My body wanted to push, not pushing was like trying to stop a sneeze. But I have neard things about breathing the baby out etc, hopefully someone will come along that knows more.

Hopandpop · 17/08/2010 16:42

i was scared to push with my second and my body kinda moved her out for me? sounds very strnage writting this down, lol

appledumpling · 17/08/2010 16:48

I hypnobirthed. With DS I was as calm as a calm thing until the urge to push just took me over. It was overwhelming but it didn't last very long (45mins of a 14hr labour) and the second DS arrived it was all forgotten.

With DD I found the first stage of labour more challenging (although still OK) and then did just breath her down. It just happened and it was so quiet IYSWIM.

Not sure that helps you very much but that's what I experienced.

innocuousnamechange · 17/08/2010 16:51

I would say pushing is something that your body just 'does'. Both times I was quite overwhelmed that my body had really taken over by that point- there was no conscious pushing, I was doing what my body had to do, wether I wanted it to or not. Nice to read that others felt the same. It wasn't a scary, out of control feelign though. I kind of liked that after all of the contractions 'I' wasn't doing the work, my body could just get on with it

ruddynorah · 17/08/2010 16:52

My body did the pushing itself I just concentrated on breathing and let my body do what it needed to. It wasn't like ok now its time to push.

First time round I said to the midwife oh I'm pushing! She said yes you are!

QueenofDreams · 17/08/2010 17:05

I, like others here, found that my body just started pushing all on its own. I found that a contraction would reach a 'peak' and then my body just clamped up. The MW's were quite happy for me to keep on like that, but when they saw meconium in the waters they told me to start doing active pushing to get him out faster.

beckie90 · 17/08/2010 17:08

i started pushing and couldnt control it at the time i didnt think i was fully dilated so i thought i needed to poo lol, but i didnt, i was just ready to have my baby. your body knows what to do, i gave 2 pushes and he was here

lal123 · 17/08/2010 17:28

When I was having DD2 things moved along very quickly and in the eraly "pushing stages" the midwife laughed and said "I think this baby is going to be breathed out"

After a while when she was shouting at me to push I asked her "What about this breathing out thing you were talking about??" She laughed again...

SpiderWilliam · 17/08/2010 18:00

A friend had her second DC last week. For DC1 she had a long labour and by the time it got to pushing the mw's were telling her to push as they needed the baby out, so she put alot of conscious effort into it. She said that last week was completely different. Last week was completely different, a 6 hour labour and the pushing stage was more subconscious pretty much breathing it out.

From what I have read, if you are able to breathe it out, and even slow it down slightly, you are much less likely to tear.

MumNWLondon · 17/08/2010 19:50

dappymoo, I think it depends on lots of things, your position and your babies.

With DC1 (DD) I was in a MLU in upright position fully dilated pushing like mad for ages (over an hour). She came out just before they were going to move me to CLU for "medical assistance".

With DC2 (DS1) I did the hypnobirthing course and was in a birth pool (squatting), didn't push, breathed him out he came slowly down birth canal, took maybe 20 minutes.

With DC3 (DS2) (standing) my body pushed (I was trying not to as pool was still filling up!) and he came out v quickly!

So in conclusion if you are upright and baby is good position you probably don't have to push, esp if not your first VB.

Original poster

dappymoo · 17/08/2010 19:51

This is all really interesting, thanks for replies guys!
Yeah I've heard that it means you're less likely to tear.

It's comforting to think that your body takes over and knows what to do, because I really feel like I don't!

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Wallace · 17/08/2010 19:58

With dc1&2 I was told when to push, it took ages. I was in a fairly lying-down position.

With dc3 I was squatting in the pool and my body just did it for me. He was out in two shakes of a lamb's tail only 90 mins after I got to the hospital.

EdgarAllenPop · 17/08/2010 20:09

if Brad Pitt dressed in nothing but a whisp of my imagination had nicely asked me not to push...i wouldn't have listened. your body will do it regardless- willing it along helps though.

i found on my last birth that pushing made the cont-x hurt less (not sure if it did other times).

that said, if you can slow down for your last contraction and just ease it off a bit - yes i think you will be less likely to tear.

breathing out slowly on each contraction
1)helps with pain
2)gives you something else to think about
3)makes sure you don't hold your breath.

to be honest, i hate being in labour , and viewed pushing things along by will as well as instinct as a means of getting the job done faster....

EdgarAllenPop · 17/08/2010 20:13

oh and, home birth great :) really relaxing to be in your own space.

women who give birth at home also report lower levels of pain.

Haliborange · 17/08/2010 20:16

To me it felt a bit like throwing up, the same sort of gathering force, but downwards.

I was in the back of the car and suddenly realised my mooing had turned to groaning, then I knew something had changed and I was pushing.

The "purple pushing" you see on TV belongs to quite a medicalised model of birth. If you're lying down, full of synthetic hormones and can't feel anything below your boobs your body would find it pretty hard to do the work without some sort of conscious effort.

NinthWave · 17/08/2010 20:22

Haliborange yes - downwards vomiting! That's just what it felt like during my second stage with DS1 - excellent description.

Sufi · 17/08/2010 20:28

I didn't have a choice. I found myself mooing like a cow (after being strangely silent throughout); the midwife said 'do you feel like pushing?' and I didn't answer, just grunted and carried on mooing. I was pushing and tbh it was the best bit of labour for me, as I was actually doing something (rather than having it done to me, which is what contractions felt like).

Breating? Mooing? Pushing? All one and the same for me.

(I gave birth standing up, so gravity helped a lot, so this perhaps explains why it felt more like mooing than pushing!!)

Original poster

dappymoo · 17/08/2010 20:36

Yeah I guess it is all the same really, maybe the point is that it doesn't have to be the "purple pushing" you see on scary TV dramas..! But then I guess you can never tell.

I must say, when I see these videos of home births in a pool where the mum just gently does her thing all quietly and catches her own baby it is quite amazing, I want that to be me!!

OP posts:

sotough · 17/08/2010 21:00

My body wasn't remotely interested in pushing. i never felt the slightest urge, at any point, and had to really force it towards the end. and that was after 20 hours "pre labour" and 12 hours active labour. i hadn't had any drugs except gas and air. i wanted to do the hypnobirthing thing - I did a course; listened to the CD every night; etc etc. I believed in it fully. But if i'd tried to 'breathe' my baby out he wouldn't have survived. i spent two hours forcing myself to push. it was agony. finally he was hauled out after several attempts with a ventouse.
i'm a firm believer that hypnobirthing will help if the birth was going to be relatively easy anyway. however, if your body, like mine, just won't play ball, no amount of telling yourself you're having an "easy, comfortable birth" and "breathing' the baby down will get that baby out.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 17/08/2010 22:02

i was totally overwhelmed with my body just pushing too...you can't control it IME. I only 'pushed' for 9mins as well, but again couldn't have controlled stopping it or starting it! I looked into hypnobirthing, did pregnancy yoga etc, in the end it all happened too quickly for me to concentrate on anything but realising what excruciating effort my body was going through!

Haliborange · 17/08/2010 22:20

You're right of course, Sotough. Some women never feel the "urge" (or rather compulsion) to push. For me no amount of pushing (coached or otherwise) budges my babies, but having felt that urge the second time around I know there must be something wrong with my pelvis because all that power ought to have shifted anything shiftable...

Minxie1977 · 17/08/2010 22:29

I did a hypnobirthing course and had a homebirth for my first baby - highly rec'd. best money I ever spent - I did push at the end (because I thought I needed a poo

lycheemartini · 17/08/2010 22:52

My baby's head was really badly positioned and I was stuck in second stage 'downward vomiting' for 4 1/2 hours, I would have done anything to stop pushing as it was so excrutiatingly painful and I just knew she was stuck and I was pushing 'against a brick wall'. DD was eventually born by forceps after going into distress. I was involuntarily pushing out in the street (on stretcher) pushing in the ambulance, along corridors. I guess as with other aspects of labour it's very different for different people. Next time I hope for a better position and to breathe baby out! I can see how you could tbh, if my dd wasn't stuck.. my lower bits were definately doing the expelling and next time I'd like to breeeeeathe......

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