Feeling a bit low about going into labour

[musica]

I'm a week over, and just been to see mw - it was a student, and although I knew I would go over with this baby (ds was nearly 2 weeks late), I just feel really low. Got to see consultant tomorrow, because I don't want to be induced, to talk about 'implications' - I know this is for the good of the baby, but I just want to go into labour on my own, not have to keep going to hospital to 'see if I can be allowed to go on'. Obviously if there was a problem with the baby, I would want the best for it, but it just feels like once again I'm 'in the system'. I'm booked for a homebirth, and I just want things to be natural. Last time, it was too weird - we booked the time for induction, rather than having the excitement of the baby coming. I won't go into all the birth details from last time, but I ended up going into labour naturally, but a student deciding to induce the birth anyway (why was a student given the authority to make that decision?) - and it just felt like once you're in the system, 'they' take over, and your preferences are ignored.

Sorry - I'm just feeling a bit down - I just want to have this baby! The student wanted to do a sweep today, but after my experiences with the last student, I didn't feel inclined to let somebody unqualified mess around! (Sorry to any students....)

Sorry again, just feeling a bit self-indulgent.

Musica, I know exactly how you feel. Induced with both dd and ds. Slightly worried that I'm incapable of going into labour which will scupper my homebirth plans as well.
I think one of the best pieces of advice I was given about being "in the hospital system) came from my mother, who is a GP. She said you should question all advice, and question who that advice is coming from, before making any decisions. She told me that if I was given any advice that I was unsure of in hospital from an Senior House Officer I should ask for the opinion of a Registrar (a SHO could be 3 days into his 6 month obstetrics rotation and have zero practical experience). If I was given advice from the Registrar, if unsure I should ask to speak to a Senior Reg or a Consultant. If I was given advice from either of these two, I should make my decision - she said Senior Regs were v experienced and just waiting for a consultant post to come up. I followed that advice in both labours, and both times the Senior Reg overruled what the MW, SHO and Reg wanted to do (speed up labour) and said I was fine to continue as I was.

I think you should do the same with student midwives - say thank you very much for the advice, let me talk to a MW - and go up the chain from there.

One thing I would say about induction is listen to what your body is telling you. People told me with my 2nd that I could wait longer to be induced than day 10 - but I knew that my baby was very large - I could just feel it - and I felt I wanted to get him out. As it turned out he was 9.5lbs (v big for me) and actually had a congenital condition which meant (a) he was going to be abnormally high birthweight and (b) he was going to have an abnormally long gestation and would never have come out on his own! So I'm glad I induced when I did and didn't wait another 4 days when he would have been half a pound heavier. But conversely, if you feel fine, you feel that you just cook your babies for a bit longer than the norm, and you really want a home birth - then keep going if your consultant can't find any particular reason why you shouldn't!

Sorry this is long and rambling - hope it helps. Just remember that although you are booked to see the consultant, if you get a more junior person instead (v probable) and you don't like what he is saying you have every right to ask to see the consultant as well.

Good luck!!

Musica - no one can 'make you' be induced, this is a free country. And this is what my dear GP told me when I was overdue with dd and desperate not to be induced. A friend went 3 weeks over her due date - she was just very strong with the hospital and had a scan every day towards the end to make everyone feel better about the health of the baby. She had a natural, uncomplicated birth and a fine healthy daughter at the end of it.
So just be clear to everyone that you will only be induced if there is a problem with the baby, and remember, no one can make you be induced if you do not want to be!
As to the feeling down bit, I really empathise. My first was 12 days overdue and it was just the worst, worst 12 days of my life - I tried EVERYTHING to make her come (walking 8 miles a day, curries, sex, star jumps, nipple massages and even castor oil in the end) Everything just made me feel tired, stupid, uncomfortable or ill and the castor oil just induced 'false labour'. This meant I had a whole night of no sleep only for the contractions to disappear by morning. Things only started again for real the next night and DD wasn't born til 9 pm the following night so I was exhausted by the end of it. I think they are only ready to come when they are ready to come - we just have to try to be patient and not worry. My second is due in about a month, hope I can be patient, though I am so huge and uncomfortable I'd love to go into labour today! Good luck and hang in there xxx

Musica: are you on the homebirth-UK list? There are so many women on there who went past the magic 41+5 (or whatever) mark to have homebirth. They would give you the support you need to stand your ground.

Musica - really feel for you too. I am 38.3 weeks now but both my other babies were here by now so everyone is already piling on the pressure. I think its also pretty normal to feel glum at the end of the pg because you have such mixed emotions. I keep feeling the baby moving and thinking "I should really savour this moment as its probably the last time I'll feel this" but at the same time I can't help wishing it would wriggle out!

The general advice seems to be to stand your ground about induction - you know your body and you were expecting to go over so although you are fed up being pg you shouldn't let anyone bully you into rushing things if you don't want to.

I'm booked for a HB too (althouh my plans have also come under threat for beaurocratic reasons see mums 2 be moving on part 2 thread) - I think the worst thing is that we always feel like we've got to fight to HB and its always under threat of being snatched away.

Try to keep your spirits up. I'm sure your baby will come soon and hopefully of its own accord and at home. Sending you raspberry leaf thoughts anyway (although tempted to hang on to them all for myself )

Musica, no advice but I just wanted to add my best wishes here in case you missed them on the other thread. Good for you on sticking up for yourself so far, looking forward to your birth announcement (but won't go on about it or keep asking!)

musica just found this page which might be of interest:

www.homebirth.org.uk/overdue.htm

Fingers crossed for soon eh!

Thanks for your advice - pph, that makes a lot of sense, and I'm seeing the consultant tomorrow. Katherine, I've been 'listening in' on the other thread to your situation - I hope everything works out, and you get your homebirth - sounds like rubbish communication between your midwives! I think you're right Cha, they only come when they want to - in a way that's why it's annoying to be being put 'into the system' rather than just 'awaiting events'. Even though I know it's for the well-being of the baby. Don't know about the homebirth-UK list - not heard about that. I'm hoping the consultant tomorrow will be homebirth friendly, and not push for intervention - you never know what a particular doctor will advocate. www - thanks!

Anyway, will let you know when something happens...sending lots of baby thoughts Katherine, and thanks for the link!

Musica i just posted to KMS - they can NOT force an induction on you. Believe me this is your body !!! If you are at all unsure go for a scan every day....

My SIL called me a few hours ago - her waters went but she wants a VBAC and the consultant has told her to come into hospital (I think stupid move but who asked me ) - she is now stuck in their AN ward....
She has also been told she'll be induced in 12 hours - I had a BIG talk with her DH and now induction won't happen for at least 24h! But they want to put her on antibiotics because of "possible" infection.... needless to say she is birthing in a highly medicalised country - not the UK....

Keeping my fingers crossed that she does get a VBAC!

I've been to see the doctor, and he was very laid back, and said 'come back next week', but he didn't think I would go that long. I was relieved, but quite surprised that he was so relaxed about it - good I guess, but then I started worrying that the baby won't be monitored closely.....I'm just a worrier I think!

Thanks for the encouragement yesterday - I feel very much more positive now! Hope all you people waiting to go into labour do so quickly!!!

Musica - great news. So there are some decent docs out there who seem to have some faith in our bodies. Don't worry about the monitoring. That little one has the best monitor there is - you! Not long to go now. Try to think about all the nice bits of your pg and feeling that little one wriggle - then think about all those things you hate and how they'll soon be over. Nothing to report from here. Had a curry last night but I'm not a curry fan so go tone of Safeways Kormas. Have to say it was the mildest curry I've ever had so can't think that will do anything. DH turned me down for nookie - says he doesn't want to squash the baby! I think he just doesn't want to get squashed himself - so planning on a walk this afternoon. Not far though. Just done a trip to Safeways in the landrover though and if bouncing along on our track doesn't help then nothing will. Maybe I should just spend the rest of the day doing that.....

Would you count reflexology as an intervention? Although I didn't try it myself, several members of my antenatal yoga group used it when they were 'overdue' and said they went into labour within 24 hours.

I had my induction date with my dd in June as she was overdue. 2 days before the id I decided to mow the lawn and that night labour started naturally. I was really relieved as I didn't want to be induced but the hospital did not make it sound like I had an option. The last week was hard because even though I knew the baby was moving around fine I had to go to the hospital for monitoring 3 times!! I think they do tend to panic when you are over your due date, but really how accurate are our dates anyway?? I know mine weren't spot on and scan dates are never totally accurate either. Good luck musica and if the weathers nice try mowing the lawn. You never know.....

Great news Musica -
Kazbaz - yes I would count it.
On my SIL... they broke her waters this AM

Which part of the foot are we talking about..... we don't have a lawn!

Musica so glad things are more positive fro you. if it helps I had no.3 17 days late at home weighing in at over 10lbs (but I am big too...). I was told hospital policy to induce at 10-12 days to ensure all babies were out by 14 days. I bargained wiht scans and then when I hit 14 days I refused to go in and anwswer the phone as I just felt everything was Ok but they kept chucking scare tactics and I couldnt get them to do an adequate risk comparison (risk of ageing placentaetc to child and mother vs risk to child and mother due to induction and poss cesarean.)
no.2 was also at home and 11 days late but no complications in the run up.
Had lots of support from midwives too. Great homebirth team. Whatever happens I wish you the best of everything.
I was born at home and funnily ehough the best support I got was from my grandmothers generation (all in their 90s now) the majority of whom seemed to have home delivered all their children.

Musica - you've gone very quiet.........

......I've just been away from the computer!!! No news though. I think my parents are going to go mad - everytime I phone them I get a 'well...' and then they're really annoyed when I have nothing to report.

I keep reminding myself that ds wasn't born until Saturday of this week, so I shouldn't really be surprised.

How are you doing Katherine? Any twinges?

No - had huge bowel movememnt this morning (sorry to be graphic) but didn't lead anywhere. DH has promised me a foot massage tonight so I'm hoping that will lead to bedroom activity which may lead somewhere. Baby was so active last night I was convinced I was going to pop but nothing much today. Feeling rather resigned about the whole thing. And my dad has just phoned to say that my elderly mum has just been taken into hospital with head injury after a fall. They live 3 hours away so not in a position to dash up there. Why is life so complicated?

Sorry things haven't started happening for you and sorry if my asking made you feel worse - so we are aiming for the weekend then eh! DH has thoughtfully invited his brother and nephew to come to stay this weekend and so far the only place for them to sleep in on the sofa bed where I plan to deliver. Could get interesting......

There is no way a student midwife would be let loose to do a sweep where I work! Glad you had a good appointment with consultant. Good luck to you all. Looking forward to the announcements

Well done bubbly - finally a mum that tells the the medical profession that SHE won't be rushed !

Sadly SIL had a 2nd section yesterday

Oh Katherine - hope your mum is ok. No, you didn't make me feel worse at all! I've just trekked round Ikea and Asda, in the hope that the stress of those shops combined might bring on the baby!

mears, students seem to be given a free rein here - with ds it was a student who made lots of the decisions in the hospital, without even checking with a midwife!