Becoming agorophobic

[Rocklover]

Title says it all really. I have all day nausea still at 16+2 and rarely want to leave the house and when I do it panics me.

I have suffered from severe anxiety in the recent past and I was the same then, never wanting to leave the house. The similarity of how I feel now when pregnant and how I felt with the anxiety terrifies me and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it.

I seem to be able to do big journeys like driving to my parents 200 miles away, but getting to the shops is a nightmare. I'm getting very worried that this nausea is never going to go as I feel quite poorly most days. I am wondering whether to try a different anti nausea med (I am currently on Avomine).

I have seriously had enough and want to feel better, but all I can see is this carrying on until I've had the baby. Feeling really low today. :(

So sorry that you are having a tough time of it and are having a particularly crap day today. Don't have much experience of this - hopefully someone with something more useful to say will be along in a minute. Did you have any useful treatment or therapy for your anxiety in the past? Could you see your GP to get some help for the nausea and for the anxiety? I really don't think that you should be expected to suffer in silence with this. Big hugs XXX

I did have medication and cbt for the anxiety and I made a full recovery, but obviously I don't want to take any meds now.

I'm starting to worry that the nausea is all in my mind and there is nothing wrong with me really. Feel a bit of a failure.

YOU ARE NOT FAILURE!!!!! The nausea is NOT all in your mind - you have masses of really strong hormones rushing around causing complete havoc and one of the very common side effects of this is nausea! Naming it "morning sickness" is a complete misnomer and totally unhelpful - some women have it all day long. And whilst for some it does get better after the first trimester, for others it doesn't. What you are feeling is completely normal - and it SUCKS majorly that you are one of the unlucky ones who is being effected by it. And that is what it is down to - LUCK. I had a friend who had severe hyperemesis with her first pregnancy. During her second, also a girl, she was fine. You cannot predict these things. It's luck.

Could you think about starting up the CBT again? Maybe by getting in touch with the therapist directly, or going via your GP? If you've had a positive experience with it in the past, then that's great. Shows that it's something that can work for you and that you find helpful. As for the medications - I don't know all the ins and outs, but some medications including those for anxiety are perfectly OK to take during pregnancy. So I understand that you don't want to take anything unnecessarily, but you might find that there is something that could help you that would be fine for you to take. Again needing to take something is NOT you being a failure. If you have recognised the signs, identified that it is a problem, and you are posting here to get some advice and support - then this is a really good step to take. You are being responsible and sensible.

Again, I don't know all the ins and outs of it, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if recurrence of anxiety is pretty common during pregnancy. This is a really significant time in our lives. Even if you feel well through pregnancy, there's so many changes and upheavals to go through and to anticipate. This can be a scary and awe-inspiring time which brings up bad feelings, good feelings and panicky feelings. And all of that is fine - we're human. XXX

Rocklover I read your post and it felt like it could have been me writing it! I've been feeling the same. I'm so sorry you're still not feeling better, but it doesn't mean to say it will last throughout your pregnancy...keep up hope . My GP put me on avomine first but it really didn't work v well for me so they then changed it to cyclizine which I think helps more. I still feel very very sick at times though. I'm still on a full dose and haven't stopped taking them for 7 weeks at all, I'm too scared.

I haven't really been out of the house at all since I found out I was pregnant, which was at 3 1/2 weeks. I've managed to get to the doctor and hospital a few times when needed (although had to have my booking in at home) and have walked to the end of the road to post letters and driven to a shop a couple of miles away for a very quick visit once...but that's all I've done in over 9 weeks. I feel trapped - like I'm too scared to go out incase I feel or am sick. I think I mentioned to you before I have a bad phobia of being sick so for me this is a really tough time and I've really really suffered from back nausea.

At present my sickness seems to be more up and down than bad all the time, but when it strikes it's really bad and i HAVE to lie down. SO long as I don't do much, eat very often, nap and lie down when I feel it coming on most of the time it's manageable (although when it gets bad it's terrible and nothing helps). But I can't live like this - I can't go out as I get tired etc and it brings on my sickness. My tiredness isn't as profound as it was a few weeks back in that I don't spend all day every day in bed (which is what I did for about 3 weeks) but it still takes it out of me just walking around the house and doing small chores.

I'm trying to go out a little at a time and a little more every day (when I feel good) and see how this goes. Today I'm walking to the shop around the corner to get some milk, tomorrow I might drive a couple of miles to a garden centre just to try and browse for a few minutes to get out of the house. I'm hoping that gradually building up time out of the house very slowly, from a couple of minutes upwards might mean that eventually I can go out for 'normal' trips. Sometimes I wonder if by staying at home and doing nothing I'm making it worse by losing my stamina etc, but I don't feel capable of going out. But the thought of even a trip to the shop round the corner feels like such a big challenge and fills me with dread.

I haven't been to the GP. I'm worried I won't be able to explain myself properly and they won't realise how bad this is and will shrug me off and just tell me to go out every day, but I can see how I probably should go.

Seriously - little baby steps is probably good at this stage - the last thing we want is to lose our confidence in the world and it getting worse. Let me know how you get on and hopefuklly together we'll beat this. I only have 3 weeks until I'm back to work so I HAVE to get myself sorted by then...but the thought fills me with dread...at the back of my mind I'm not sure if I'll ever even make it back.

Sorry for long post. You have my complete understanding and sympathy, and at least I don't feel so alone in what I'm going through.

Thanks for your replies carda and angels, it helps to be able to talk on here to others who understand.

I have emetephobia too angels (thought I was ok with it as I managed to get through the Norovirus unscathed the week I conceived), and this is why my anxiety is heightened. I also have ibs and have a VERY bad bout on Wed, then again on Sat night so that I felt very ill all day yesterday. I stayed in bed most of the day and nearly succumbed to a panic attack which scared me witless!

Today I want to try and walk to the grocery shop in town which is about 10 minutes from here, but I am totally bricking it as I obviously still feel nauseaus. I do feel better than I did this morning, but still don't feel great. Everyone is telling me I am putting too much pressure on myself and that I need to rest, which is all I do!! I am lucky enough not to have to work at the moment, but I think the fact that I don't have to go out is making me more hesitant.

Anyway, I am rambling now, but thanks again for all the kind words, they really do help.

Hope you managed it to the grocery shop rocklover.

I know we need to rest, but part of me thinks the longer I've left it the harder it will get to go out again.... I managed it to the local shop today but very very nervous the whole time and nearly didn't get there....then couldn't get home quick enough and feel really annoyed at myself for not even managing that well...

I did get to the grocery store and even managed to have a browse in another shop. I was very nervous (although the feeling went up and down), a bit disappointed that I didn't manage longer, but I can keep trying.

I think we should be glad we pushed ourselves to get out, it was hard work, but a good step to take. Onwards and upwards! :)

I was exactly the same with my first two pregnancies and, to a little extent, the same with this one. It's really hard to explain but I just didn't want to go out and be amongst busy places or people. I've never really got back into it, busy places, shops, etc. and the hussle and bussle just bothers me. Much happier in my garden or at home in my own world. You are not odd or unusual, you just know what you like and know what you don't like.

Also have IBS so know what you mean about feeling nervous (to put it mildly) about going out when things are bad. Really feel for you. Please don't feel bad about yourself XX.

Thanks AT and Carda, luckily the dr has given me codiene for the ibs, but I will not be able to take it when I get to the 3rd trimester.

I must admit I don't like busy places either AT, much prefer the quiet (luckily I live in Devon in a small town within a rural area). I think I am just going to try and get out every day just for a little while, be it a walk into town or a drive into the countryside. I think I will feel better when I prove to myself I can stretch beyond my comfort zone.

However, going out with other people is a little more difficult, then I don't feel I can just turn for home when I need to, so that's something I'll have to work on. Of course, all this would be much easier if the nausea decided to stop, I can only live in hope!

Hello Rocklover,

Just read your post and want you to know that you are absolutely not alone. Emetophobia is a serious phobia and can be so debilitating. You said you were taking anti anxiety meds before you became pg but have you asked your GP about taking them now? My GP has told me I can carry on taking diazepam but only when it's extremely necessary, sometimes just knowing I can take it is enough to calm me down. I was given avomine as well and it's really not very good so ask to change to another one.

If you need more support with dealing with emetophobia then I recommend joining the gut reaction forum-

gutreaction.myfreeforum.org/

There are quite a few of us on there that are pregnant and we're helping each other through. It's a really supportive community and you needn't feel you have to explain yourself as someone on there will have been through what you're going through or had the same thoughts.

I'm overcoming the agoraphobia after 6 months of it and I'm 15 weeks pg. No closer to overcoming the phobia (had it since the age of 3 and now 32) though unfortunately but I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to live a sort of normal life with it.

Good luck! x

Thanks Needtosleep, I have joined the forum and will have a look through the posts on there.

I was on Citalopram when I was anxious, I was never offered diazepam, even when I was experiencing regular panic attacks, so I very much doubt I would be prescribed that now. If the nausea doesn't subside soon I will ask the dr if there are any different anti-emetics I can try.

I am just trying to take things very easy at the moment, my 5 yo dd is on holiday with my exh at the moment, so I am taking advantage of the break. I'm hoping things will start to improve soon.

I really feel for you and have been there myself.

I think one thing I realised quite early in my last pregnancy is that there are massive changes to the brain (well at least there were to mine!). I became very protective of my bump and felt very vulnerable in busy places. Things like crossing roads for me were very challenging. I also didn't want to go out at all (had to make myself).

I think when these changes happen to you and you already have a history of anxiety a first response can be to feel that you are 'failing' and that the old anxiety is back because the memory of the feelings is the same.

But.. it isn't, this is something a little different and in a sensitive person it actually makes very good sense that you might want to kind of hibernate when you are making a tiny baby.

I actually think you need to be a little gentler on yourself as for instance you really shouldn't be 'disappointed' that you didn't last as long in the shops as you wanted to.

The thoughts (of failure, disappointment) you are actually attaching to your fears/experiences around going out might be causing you greater actual problems if you see what I mean.

If you don't feel like going out and don't have to then don't, do some nice things for yourself at home. If you do have to go out then and are anxious about it try and make it easier by finding someone to go with you/take a taxi/go at a quiet time/take things with you that will help (sniffing Olbas oil tissues were one of my tricks to focus me on not being sick), find some distractions: soothing music on an ipod etc. Get the support you need... and if that includes medication, therapy then do that too (I do it all!). Don't feel ashamed of how you are feeling.

By the way my brain changed back to normal almost immediately after my last baby, but now I am pregnant again, the feelings have started again. I don't call them anxiety though but instead have decided that they are just the way MY pregnant brain works. Consequently, I don't beat myself up about it and am a lot happier as a result.

Thanks for giving another perspective lucy, you are so right.

"I think when these changes happen to you and you already have a history of anxiety a first response can be to feel that you are 'failing' and that the old anxiety is back because the memory of the feelings is the same". This is exactly how I feel! I am terrified that the nausea is all in my head, because nausea was my main symptom when I had my anxiety and I felt sick constantly for over a year!

I have told my dp this and he has said much the same as you and is being incredibley supportive, not nagging me to go out when I don't want to. I suppose by forcing myself to go out I am trying to use my CBT knowledge, but in this situation it isn't really working. I have a midwife appt on Thursday so I think I may talk to her if there is time.

After not feeling too bad yesterday,I am feeling totally crap this morning, it's just so disheartening.

Hi there,

Just thought I would add that I am also vomit phobic and feeling sick all the time (on anti sickness tabs too)...

I am finding it all very difficult and do have some very down days. My doctor refered me to a counselling service for the phobia, and whilst I don't thin it will stop me being scared of being sick myself in the time I have, it shoudl hopefully make it easier for me to cope with my baby.

I find that I do just have to take each day one step at a time. I hate going to work, and often have to go and lay down in the first aid room when the nausea gets to much. And when I wimp out I work from home. But just because one day is bad, another may not be so hard. At the beginning I didnt move from the sofa for about two weeks, so scared of being sick and felt so terrible. Once I started the tabs, they took the edge off things enough for me to start by going to the shops at the end of the road, and gradually doing a little more each day.

Good luck, and take it easy - dont be too hard on yourself - because being pregnant is hard enough even without the vomit phobia! You are not alone though and it won't be forever, so hang in there!

Take care x