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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Keeping it quiet till 12 weeks?

19 replies

UniMummy · 30/07/2010 11:56

Hello everyone!

I'm new to the pregnancy topic and am nearly 6 weeks with DC2.

Tomorrow we go on holiday with my parents. How on earth do we keep our fantastic news quiet?! Any tips?!

So far I have briefed DP on taking over carrying DS on walks etc if needs be

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sweetnitanitro · 30/07/2010 12:02

Congratulations!

It may or may not be easy to keep quiet, depending on how bad your symptoms are. You could always lie about being on antibiotics for some unnamed illness, that would cover not drinking and any tiredness you have.

Pancakeflipper · 30/07/2010 12:05

You could tell your parents and just say they have to keep it quiet...

We told our parents before we told others because we thought if anything went wrong we'd tell our parents anyway and could do with support. As it was I bled badly in both pregnancies and needed some kind words.

Original poster

UniMummy · 30/07/2010 12:20

Thank you! I think baby brain is setting in early because I hadn't even thought of the antibiotics one!! Duh

Sorry to hear you had a bad time pancakeflipper, I think I will tell them if the right moment comes up as it would be nice to embrace it while we are away rather than keep secrets, iyswim.

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sarahmia · 30/07/2010 12:24

i always say im going to keep it quiet and then it comes out like pregnancy tourettes... "so, whats up.. how do you make that pavlova... im pregnant... that is a beautiful ficus...etc"

artifarti · 30/07/2010 12:31

I had to spend Christmas with my parents and then ILs when 7 weeks pregnant but couldn't tell them because I had to wait until New Year to find out if I'd had a miscarriage or not. I told everyone I was on antibiotics for an ear infection so couldn't drink...it was fine at my parents but ILs love French food. First meal there included pate, soft cheese and uncooked meat! I told some right porkers to get out of eating various things! I think by the end of Christmas they all thought I'd gone mad! When we finally got the all-clear and told them I was pregnant, they all said, 'oh yeah, we know.'

Original poster

UniMummy · 30/07/2010 12:33

haha!! Yep that sounds like me.

I give dp the whole 'tell no one, lets have a lovely time in our little bubble and enjoy our lovely secret'

two minutes later.. 'shall we just tell your mom, my sister, your friends, my friends, the neighbours, the post man, that random woman walking past the house...'

I am holding strong at the moment, but I fully expect to crack very soon

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Original poster

UniMummy · 30/07/2010 12:38

artifarti - I am having an early dating scan to rule out ectopic, so am bouncing between screaming it from rooftops and panicking. Examination showed no signs so thankfully it looks like it will all be fine, I feel positive about it at the moment. Just seems a long time away. Very happy to hear you got to share your happy news!

OP posts:

sweetnitanitro · 30/07/2010 12:39

artifarti, I'd love to hear some of the excuses you came up with, how did you get out of eating soft cheese?

I seem to be the opposite at the moment, I've got my 12 week scan next week. DH is dying to tell everyone but I feel awkward about making a big announcement and I'm tempted to just keep quiet until people start to notice.

artifarti · 30/07/2010 12:41

Fingers crossed for you and have a lovely holiday - you will know if the time is right to tell them (my parents are the hysterical sort so I would never have told them!)

artifarti · 30/07/2010 12:45

sweet - the soft cheese I just sort of pushed around my plate and hid under some biscuits. I said I had read bad things about pate production and so had decided not to eat it anymore! I insisted on having my breakfast egg completely hard-boiled as 'I wanted to cut it up and put it on my toast'!? No wonder they didn't believe a word of it!

The worst moment was when we said we had a surprise for them at Christmas breakfast. The surprise was making our cat wear a Santa hat and give out little presents. Apparently they all thought we were going to make the announcement and were really disappointed!

Original poster

UniMummy · 30/07/2010 12:49

Thank you, DS is very excited about the plane!

DP is a bit like you sweet , he doesn't really want to tell anyone. Although he also didn't want me to take any tests, just to wait and see... my answer was 'for how long? Till I give birth at home?!'

I would quite like to tell my mom, but she has the biggest mouth in the midlands and took it upon herself to inform pretty much all the family and all her friends last time, knowing full well it was still a secret!

OP posts:

Kiki84 · 30/07/2010 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cinnamongreyhound · 30/07/2010 13:49

We told my parents and brother straight away both times and no-one else until after the 12 week scan. DH is not very close to his family and they weren't impressed when we told them about DS so weren't in a hurry to tell them about a second one!

I don't drink very often anyway so that wasn't a problem and didn't have the issue of having to eat with anyone but DH so can't really offer any suggestions I'm afraid.

Congratulations!

coraltoes · 30/07/2010 14:03

i'm struggling to keep quiet about mine! Only our parents know (as we figured we'd tell them if we had a problem too, so it is nice to have someone to share it all with) but i am GAGGING to tell my friends! I am 8+1 so only 3 weeks til my scan but jesus time is dragging!!!

clarebear1 · 30/07/2010 14:04

Im only 3 weeks (very early i know) but too excited so told my sister, mum, and gonna tell my few best friends, only because its her hen doo in a couple of weeks so i wont be able to drink.
Finding it hard to not shout it from the roof tops tho!

Scaredycat3000 · 30/07/2010 14:20

Glasses of champagne were being offered out for a toast and after being harassed to drink a glass I told them I would be using a circular saw later, as was my job, and fancied keeping my fingers . They finally left me alone.
But that's not very helpful
I managed to keep quiet, I think it depends how important it is to you IYSWIM.

slimyak · 30/07/2010 14:47

I've just started telling people now at 14 weeks but I have had 3 MC's and as someone on another threat put it, the untelling when things go wrong is unbearable, I didn't have a problem keeping the secret. It's personal choice and I think without my sad experiences I would have happily danced in the street with a wee stick in my hand.

Anyway I did tell my mum, DH's Mum and my best friend as they are our support network if things go wrong in both practical terms looking after our DD and as a shoulder to cry on.

We were in the same position as you, went on holiday with MIL at 6 weeks. We told her but said it wasn't a topic for discussion until after 12 weeks, we just didn't want to make excuses of my tiredness, not drinking etc. By the way my MIL an experienced nurse I couldn't have got away with any pretend illness she would have asked what drugs, doseage etc.....

Applemuncher · 30/07/2010 19:08

I'm only 6 weeks pregnant but have told close family and friends. My reasoning was that I wanted people to share my pleasure, and if the worst was to happen, I would want them to support me through my pain.

I remember one of my friends didn't tell anyone she was pregnant until she lost the baby, then she told her close family and friends that she had been pregnant and lost the baby. Couldn't really see the point of that to be honest.

Have told a chap in my beekeeping group too, didn't want them asking me to do any heavy lifting!!

sam26oscar · 30/07/2010 19:31

I am very good at keeping secrets DH didn't know until i was 8 weeks after viability scan!! he works away and my personal reason for not telling anyone was that if the worst happened then i don't want any sympathy i have had the worst happen to me twice (1 a very late m/c) and my way of dealing with it is just to say it was meant to be and get back on with life, everyone deals with this sort of thing differently!

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