Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Birthing Partner...?!?!?!

14 replies

RoseNoir · 23/07/2010 20:29

Hi, the father of my LO will not be involved in my pregnancy/birth/who knows how long after, which is ok and something that is happening whether I like it or not.

Anyway, Im only a few weeks pg now, but thinking ahead... to the birth

My sis in law has offered to be my birthing partner, and although I love her to bits, I just dont feel comfortable about her seeing me in labour.My best friend is very supportive in general, but think she would freak out during labour as she has ZERO experience of babies and soesnt really like them, lol. Anyone else been in this situation, what did you do?

I know its a long way off, but it has been worrying me. What are your thoughts on Doulas?!

Ta ladies

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mamasunshine · 23/07/2010 20:38

Look for a doula maybe? I haven't used one but I know they're very popular. They basically support you throughout labour, and post-natally if you wish.

liahgen66 · 23/07/2010 23:28

where are you based rose?

Original poster

RoseNoir · 23/07/2010 23:34

South Wales... Have been spending the last few hours researching doulas, but looking rather expensive. Will continue to hunt for a solution

OP posts:

mamasunshine · 24/07/2010 08:22

I think that people training to be Doulas can only charge a small amount? Maybe worth trying to find a trainee?

Ibizadreams · 24/07/2010 08:38

I'm in the same boat - my elderly mother wants to be my birthing partner but I don't think she'll have the stamina for a long labour (if it comes to that), plus she's not had anything to do with babies since me, 36 years ago!

I am looking into Doulas. On the doulauk site they have a reference to a 'hardship fund' - not sure if that would apply to you but may be worth enquiring about?

PrettyCandles · 24/07/2010 08:52

Would it be possible for you to request that a student midwife or doctor stay with you throughout the hospital part if your labour? From what I have read here on MN, student tend to be very good at this, as they do not need to look after several mothers at once.

The drawback is, of course, that while they may be good at emotional and physical suppor, and will follow your lead in that, they may not be your best advocate in putting your interests first as they may be too caught up in protocols and doing things by the book.

If I could not have had my dh as birth partner, I wd have wanted my dad - someone able to keep his cool, think analytically in a crisis, and fiercely defensive of me.

liahgen66 · 24/07/2010 09:25

rose I know a lovely lovely doula in Wales, If you'd like to email me I'll pass on her details.

l c t w a l t e r s at sky dot com

japhrimel · 24/07/2010 17:46

A trainee doula can't charge more than £200.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 24/07/2010 17:58

I also know a lovely doula in south wales (well more south west wales) if you would like it. Where about in south wales are you?

Original poster

RoseNoir · 25/07/2010 20:21

Thanks ladies. Yeah didnt think about a student midwife, that sounds like a plan. I have found a few trainee doulas, so am looking into it further.

liahgen I will be in touch and peppapig Im in Cardiff, could you give me deets please?!

Ibizadreams I have just found out about that so will email tomorrow morning, good find, not sure Im entitled to it, but worth enquiring

OP posts:

birthdoula · 27/07/2010 01:32

Hi RoseNoir,
I am a birth doula myself and I am sure that if you find the right doula to suit your personality you will have a wonderful birth experience.
I don't know any doulas in your part of the world, but do look at doula uk there you will find plenty of trainee doulas, there must be someone near to you in Cardiff.
My advice to you would be to interview a few doulas, 2-3 to make sure you get the doula you are comfortable with. Keep an open mind to the kind of birth you want, your doula will help you as best she can to achieve this. I am based in London but if you want to know anything then please contact me and i will try to help [email protected].
Good luck with your search

Jenny95 · 27/07/2010 02:15

i'm having me mum as my birthing partner, best person to have i think

seashore · 27/07/2010 02:38

If you go for the doula option just make sure you really connect with her, otherwise your best friend might be the better choice as you have history and are used to supporting each other. It might all be new to her, but it would just be another thing that best friends bond over.

I hired a doula for a birth a yr ago and tbh although she was lovely, and the kind of person that I would usually click with, she was a bit zoned out about it all. She tried her best, just we didn't have much of a past.

mum2mollymoo · 03/08/2010 13:29

Hi ladies..It is a very special experience and think you should be careful and picky about who you share it with..I am a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old little girl and found my birthing experience very scarey and lonely!..(Partner was useless! and midwife far to busy!)... Next time I will definatly make the right choice ha!.. I have enrolled on a Doula course in december after being a birthing partner for two very close friends.

I am also studying health and social care as my ambition is to become a midwife.

If you think I could help you through your birth please dont hesitate to call me. I will not charge anything as am just looking for the experience. And am more than happy to meet on a number of occasions before! (much better to know somebody before you share the birth I think!)

Anyway feel free to drop me an email [email protected]

Victoria x

Flip