i still feel so distant from this baby

[misdee]

am pregnant with dc#5 and i am finding it so hard to feel happy about it.
I am so so tired, i am giving up breastfeeding dd4 as my nipples are supersenstive. i have been thrwing up constantly as well.

i just feel like what the heck am i doing. i dont think i can cope. i just feel that its not actually happening, which is awful.

i have not bought much for him/her. just some nappies, and a carrycot for the double buggy i got cheap.

just really worried, what if i dont love him./her and resent him/her?

have never felt like this before, its really upsetting me.

We were talking about this on the due september thread a few days ago.

I am pregnant with my second and feel guilty that I don't feel I've been as involved in this pregnancy as I was with my first. I'm having worried about loving this baby as much as DS when it arrives. From your point of view you must have been through this and love all the 4 DC you already have so I am sure it will all improve as you feel less tired and less sick. There's nothing like morning sickness and total exhaustion to make you question whether you've done the right thing! I only have one and in the early days I'm not sure how I made it through most days, plus I'm a childminder so having several other children 7.30-6 most days and I felt awful, I'm sure it will improve

Giving up bf is emotional. Being pg is emotional, even without the morning sickness. Being tired makes you emotional...think you can see where I'm going with this . You are allowed to feel like this way, it would be odd if you didn't really. But 'it will pass' to quote a MN mantra.

And you sound as if you have got loads ready for dc5 already, you're much more organised than you give yourself credit for. After all with 4 dcs you already have most baby stuff I'm guessing so there won't be that rushing around.

Was working up to the last minute before dc3 and had a csection booked. Dh turned to me and said, "Bloody hell, we're having a baby the day after tomorrow!" ..we'd hardly thought about it! But the rush of love for him was instant.

Are you going to find out the gender?

i adore my girls. but found it a bit hard to bond with dd1 due to PND.

I am hoping the summer holidays will help with the tiredness, as the early morning school runs have been killing me.

i have my 20 week scan in august, so am hoping to find out the sex to help me feel better.

If i am honest, I am scared of havign a boy. in case the girls get dismissed 'oh you finally got your boy' type comments. and because it will mean we will have to move sooner than planned.

aother girl would be perfect. and i hate feeling like that. i will love it if its a boy, but feel awful thinking about it.

DS & DD are sharing a bedroom very happily now that dc3 has arrived and you have years - if it is a boy - before he'd want his own privacy. And 4 older sisters to keep an eye on him - how excellent is that?! Or another girl to add to the Amazons? Only insensitive souls will make comments re 'finally' getting or not getting a boy. He/she is just going to be one more to love.

Once the hormones have subsided re the bf and the morning sickness has eased off, which is enough to shake anyone's calm, I bet you you'll be all excited again.

Are the girl's excited?

true, re:bedrooms.

girlsare v v excited, more so by the fact i am due around xmas (30th dec) and they want an xmas day baby

I think I'm finding it harder because I'm having another boy, my DS won't be mummy's little man anymore- keep telling him he's mummy's big boy. If I was having a girl he would still be my little man and she could be something different, if that makes any sense. There is definately comfort in having the same sex in that you feel you know what you are doing.

Can relate to that - mine got horribly confused over Christmas (when they were told I was pg) and kept telling people it was Baby Jesus!

Can relate to every single comment above!! Have twin girls who are very excited, due date is Christmas Day. This pg was a suprise so still can't believe there is a bubba inside me! Toook at least a year to bond with my girls, so hoping this time that things go smoothly.

it was a surprise for us.

have had a lot of 'your mad' comments, which havent helped. am feeling liek the worst mum in the world

Im pregnant with 3rd and getting the are you mad one too.

Also, I have only bought this one a second hand moses basket, dont need anything else.

I reckon when she comes it will be ok, its just hard doing it all when pregnant and knackered, I sometimes wonder why im doing it.

We are all at home today and 3 year old is bored shitless, i feel like a bad mum cos I am just lazing round house. I have a 1 year old to look after too and i am working all weekend so I just cant take off to the park or anything. I do feel guilty, but I cant do it. Its the first time I have felt bad for the existing children for having more, they are missing out.

misdee you poor thing, i too am worried about this baby, am only 8 weeks and very distant, partly as worried about m/c and also just been me and my boy for past 6 yrs, not sure how to love another child after being just the 2 of us. He however has (spookily) asked for a baby! never mentioned this ever before...is he pyschic!!!!