not coping with this at all.

[xphantomflanflingerx]

Sat here in floods as i write this.Dh has had a few problems with depression in the past but recently over the last year has been fine.Last year i found out i was expecting and i am now 37 weeks pregnant only for him to go totally off the rails and i don't think i can cope with him any more.
He's behaving in a way (after 14 years and 2 other kids)like nothing i have ever seen.He stayed out all night and slept in a doorway drunk, had an internet affair behind my back and took money out of my account that wasn't his to take and that's just some of it.When he is here he rants and shouts like he's completely lost it and we all feel like we are under siege.
He doesn't seem to have any idea of the upset and distress he is causing...my little girl was beside herself when he just disappeared and stayed out all night.She was even distressed in her sleep.
With a baby due in a few weeks i just feel completely trapped and isolated.
Apparently he has telephoned his 76 year old mum up and shouted and bellowed at her so much he made her cry.
The other day he upset me so much i thought i had gone into labour early.This needs to stop now.I just don't know what to do.

I'm really worried that all this stress will harm the baby...definitely isn't doing me any good i know that.I just feel worn out and emotionally and physically knackered.How the hell am i going to cope with a new baby and him here as well? Tbh i feel so upset over everything that has happened i just feel numb where he is concerned now.I have loved him and been there for him since i was 21 years old (14 years!) but now i just feel really angry and resentful.

So sorry you're having to deal with this

You might find this gets more responses if you post it in Relationships.

I know.Tbh i'm really worried about the baby...could he come all of this affect him when he comes out.Worried i'm going to end up with an anxious stressed out baby.I know that sounds silly.

I don't think it will affect the baby but nor are you silly to worry about it.

I haven't got much advice really - no experience of this sort of thing - but it sounds like your DH needs to realise that he needs some help.

Could you contact your HV for a bit of moral support?

I've tried that and she wasn't very helpful really.We went to see the Doc and the first thing he said was 'ooh it was the baby that caused it' ffs. and then made out that we were feckless for having a baby in the first place (ok....he was fine up until recently and after 14 years of marriage and 2 other kids.Twonk).His other comment was that he isn't bipolar because he isn't spending loads of money or acting like he's Jesus!

Shame he's the only Doc there or i'd get him to see someone else.

Go to another GP, or go back to your HV. You need more support than this!

I know.There is only one g.p at the surgery and i don't really want to find a new midwife if i change surgeries this late on.His locum is very nice.Only thing is because dh has decided he only likes women doctors (doesn't feel comfortable tslking to male g.ps) he won't go.
Doc although useless thinks he might have bpd.Great!

Might be helpful?

thanks cadburyheroes i'll take a look at that.There is some good stuff on there

I just wanted to wish you all the best. Living with someone with mental health problems is so very hard, but if they can get the right help things will improve. Its not your fault.

My MIL has bipolar disorder and has had soem really tough times and periods of truly extreme behaviour which has made life difficult for all those around her. But she now has the help she needs and is on medication to control the extreme highs and lows which really has helped her become a different person. So if your DH does have bpd the sooner he gets help the better for all of you.

Please take care of yourself and you must get help. You can't possibly cope with all this alone, with a new baby on the way. Please let us know how you are getting on xxx

Sorry to hear what is happening. Are any of his family or friends able to intervene with him - sounds like not his mum after his phonecall, but is there anyone else? You have your hands full.

Also, what support arrangements are in place for baby's birth, looking after other DC's and afterwards? Can you arrange for family or friend(s) to be there for you?