MC at 6 weeks -- my experience

[barelyutterly]

Just wanted to post this as while I was going through it I was googling like mad to read others' experiences and found this forum (among others) to be quite helpful. So here's hoping my experience can be of help to someone else.

After 2 months of "seriously trying" (aka actually paying attention to timing) I got pregnant just over a month ago. I'm an elite amateur cycle racer so have been heavy into training and racing this season without much thought to pregnancy other than I figured when I got pregnant, I'd know and go from there.

Returned home from some races last week and did a test, knowing I was now a couple of weeks late. Positive results, calculated I was about 5 weeks from LMP. Did some training that week, in particular a hard workout on Wed and felt ok but really really tired, hot, sweaty, just a bit out of sorts. Figured it was par for the course.

Then on the weekend I started to cramp and bleed, my temperature was near 38 degrees and I generally felt awful. Called NHS and they said there was nothing I could do til Monday and to book an early scan if I was still concerned (and to go to A&E if things got worse).

I'm a pretty tough customer so was doing all right, got in with my GP first thing Monday morning who got me a scan at the hospital on Tues. Neither she nor the doc I spoke to on the phone Sunday seemed overly concerned, so even though I knew something wasn't right, I tried to take their word for it. By now it's Tuesday and I've been cramping, bleeding with a high resting HR and slight temperature now for 3 days.

During the scan the techs said they couldn't see an embryo. Also did a blood test that day, was reassured up and down that probably everything was fine, blah blah. Went home, started to feel a bit better the next day but by then I had passed a lot of blood and some clots. Went back in yesterday for a follow-up blood test and the numbers have dropped significantly so now I know for sure what I was going through was a miscarriage.

The good news: after a rough emotional day on Monday when I felt like I wasn't getting the answers I needed, I actually came to terms with it quite well and now I and my partner are fine. We're looking forward to trying again. I am an info-addict so had googled everything from symptoms to HCG numbers to ultrasound scans so by yesterday I already knew what they were going to tell me today, based on what I found. I also found that after the initial few days of cramping and feeling like crap, it all seems to have passed and I feel pretty normal again. So I'm looking forward to getting my period in a few weeks and having my system "reset" so to speak.

The bad news: I felt as though nobody wanted to tell me anything throughout this whole ordeal. The doc who gave me my first blood test results said it was 780 but gave no opinion of that -- it was only after I googled that I found out how low that was. Same with the ultrasound techs, once I googled and saw what "blighted ovum" scans look like vs normal scans, I instantly knew that mine was not normal. Why didn't they just tell me that?

Also if I had gone to A&E on Saturday night when I was first feeling rough and insisted on a blood test right then and there, and got on the list for a Monday early scan, I could have done the scan and the follow-up blood test on Monday and already have known the results on Tuesday. As it was, I've had to wait til today (Friday) for confirmation, and even then I had to chase the test results up because noon came and went and I had no call from the doc.

So to sum up my experience and advice:
-- know your body, don't let anyone else try to tell you "it'll all be ok" if your gut feeling is that it's not. I know my body pretty well being an athlete, and I KNEW that something was wrong. Just because I wasn't freaking out and crying and doubled over in pain doesn't mean what I was going through was nothing. I got the impression that if anything, my relative calmness really worked against me when dealing with health care providers.
-- get on the list for an early scan right away. I was shunted around by my GP, having to call her repeatedly to find out if she'd gotten me an appt, where and when. It felt like nobody was treating me seriously. I'm normally not a pushy person but I should have been more pushy in this case.
-- don't be afraid to ask lots of questions and insist on answers. Hardly any information was offered to me except the answers to questions I asked. I have learned more in the past week about miscarriage than I ever wanted to know, but without googling for answers I would have been lost had I expected my GP or the EPU docs to offer up information.

I realise that what happened was what was going to happen, i.e, a miscarriage at 6 weeks is not preventable or stoppable. But I really take issue with the way the whole thing was handled and how I felt things were completely out of my control, the delays I experienced getting answers, the way everyone just assumed I was overreacting and everything would be fine. Next time hopefully there is no next time! I will know to be more insistent and take control of my own health and care.

I do have one question if anyone is still reading... should I expect a follow-up call from my GP (does she get the information in my file sent to her)? In my world, a GP finding out a patient went through a miscarriage should be calling to ask how that patient is doing. But I've only recently moved to the UK so I'm not sure if that's standard practice here or not.

cheers,
b&u

Dear b&u - sorry to hear about your mc. There are several threads in the conception section where women share their experiences.

I had a mc last Nov at 8 weeks and found it all quite traumatic, especially when my first post-mc period arrived.

I just wanted to let you know that it's highly unlikely that your GP will call to ask how you're doing. Maybe in an ideal world that would happen, but sadly we don't live in an ideal world and, to be fair to GPs, they are dealing with scores of ill people every day. They simply don't have the time to call everyone up to see how they're doing.

Best wishes with your future ttc.

So sorry for your loss. There are many on here who have been through similar (and there's an mc section as well). Has your temp gone back to normal and the bleeding stopped or at least slowed down? That's the main 'physical' thing you would need follow up for - to check no infection and nothing retained in the uterus. My EPU is good and routinely offers follow-up but not all do at 6 wks. They also offer counselling but again, not sure if that's the norm. Glad you are feeling positive about the future. After my mc, the feeling of having 'come to terms with it' came and then went again repeatedly for quite some time, so don't be surprised if you are up and down for a bit.

Sorry about your mc, I've had several similar experiences (5 -12 weeks), and the lack of info etc is unfortunately typical. Like you I had to educate myself. Your GP won't phone (and may not know you actually did miscarry for several weeks, if the EPU is slow sending the information letter to the GP surgery), and in theory at least the MW at the EPU should have given you information about counselling and local support groups.

It's a very frustrating situation, when you are going through it, but there's not much you can do except wait for the situation to play out - at that stage, there's nothing they can do to change the outcome, but everyone holds out the hope that things will be ok (because sometimes it is - even when they are pretty sure it's hopeless).

IME, it does get easier if it happens again, but I hope you never get to find that one out for yourself!

Best wishes.