I don't think my body likes pregnancy/labour....

[megcleary]

I had a MMC a few years ago, went for the 12 week scan no heartbeat DH and I in shock. Told to came back a week later and have another scan in case I had got pregnant in the meantime.

Any way I started bleeding a few days later and one morning the pain was horrific. DH rang the number they gave us and we were told to come to gynae ward.

By the time i got in (rural area)they had trouble getting IV access and I was becoming unresponsive and they couldn't stop the bleeding. Rushed to theatre ERPC home that night.

Few years later pregnant again got early scan as was terrified of same happening. 7 week scan heart beat all well.

End of preganacy, pre eclampsia 10 days over, induced, waters broken for me then Dd not where they thought so blood samples from her scalp 6 in total to check her oxygen levels. Not good so rushed to theatre EMCS. Had a reaction to spinal, shook terribly for 3 hours couldn't hold dd. Kept in recovery for 4 hours as no urine output.

The point of my long and dull story is that I don't think my body knows what to do when pregnant in labour.

Am now 8/9 weeks pregnant have asked GP an dmidwife for early scan. No luck have one in august. Then appointment at a clinic for the consultant to discuss VBAC.

My fear as stated is my body seems inept. Medical intervention in both pregnancies have kept me and DD alive. Do you think I have a case for another section ( if I am pregnant! still to scared to believe it).

Advice appreciated.

bump

think you are being too hard on yourself, you've had a terrible time but I think its not unusual to have what you have experienced

alot of people have MC and bad pregnancies and then go onto have a good one

I had terrible time PG1, was hositalised , morphine etc. second PG, smooth sailing

take it easy, rest up and very best wishes

The pregnancies are fine!! I sleep the first 12 weeks then wake up(Cbeebies currently parenting) its just at the getting them out point my body seems inept. Either doesn't realise not a viable pregnancy or hangs onto it. That is why I think a planned CS this time may be best but unsure what the hospital will demand.

Sneaky bump

I had an emcs last time and have a choice this time whether i go for a vbac or elcs. I am going for the vbac, but with quite strict plan.

Once in established labour i must dilate 1cm every hour.
I am not to be given any hormones to help me along.
No induction.
Continous monitoring (that is debatable)
At 10days over my due date i am going in for a cs if not already in labour.

Some people hate the constraints but i have found them reassuring.

I hope this helps at all

I just don't think my body will manage a VBAC. It appears to dim! Good luck with yours.

I think you're being too negative - having a bad miscarriage experience is usually no relection on how your body can cope with pregnancy or labour. Some people miscarry fully naturally fine, some don't.

And with your first child, it sounds like interventions were the cause of the issues, not your body not knowing what to do! 10 days over isn't uncommon with a first baby - if you hadn't had PE possibly you could've gone on a bit longer and given birth naturally.

I would definitely make sure it's in your notes and birth plan that you react badly to spinals though.

I will mention the spinal reaction when I meet whoever next month. Two lots of medical intervention to keep me and DD in one piece just concerns me.

I am a natural worrier so perhaps I am too negative.

You don't sound negative, just naturally apprehensive after your pregnancy experiences so far.

I had an EMCS with my DS after a long labour and him getting into distress and it was quite a scary experience that I would not like to repeat. I'm 17 weeks pregant with DC2 and although I would quite like to try for a VBAC it does worry me that I could end up in the same situation again.

I would imagine you will be given the option of a planned CS but I hope however you give birth will be a much more positive experience for you this time.

I think your reaction is fairly typical of anyone who had a lot of intervention in the birth part of pregnancy. I have not have had a MC but did have a long labour which ended in EMCS with a 5 1/2 hour pushing stage. It took me a long time (3-4 years!) to even contemplate having another baby and going anywhere near the hospital made me cry!!!! I too, like loads of women, felt a failure and that it was me that was stopping the baby being born without intervention. I am currently 28 wks pg with number 2 and have started to shift the negative thoughts. I have seen a consultant and a consultant midwife who have discussed options with me and I have gone from thinking I would have to have a CS to thinking I will have a go at a VBAC with the view that if it doesn't go according to plan, a CS will happen much quicker which means I feel a lot more in control.
Its natural to feel how you do but maybe do a bit of reading/research - ask for your notes, to see why things went as they did last time? Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks for the advice, may request notes, MN is my research

I think I understand how you feel to some extent.

My first pregnancy ended in MMC; second resulted in lovely DS but I went 10 days over - my waters eventually broke but contractions never became co-ordinated or strong enough so I had to be induced; 3rd pregnancy another MMC.

I'm now 20 weeks with my 4th pregnancy and, hopefully, second child. I have had 3 scans already and can feel the baby moving but I don't think I am going to be able to accept that I really am pregnant until my next scan. I don't trust my body to know what to do when I reach the point of giving birth.

Having said that I'm over the moon to be pregnant again and to have got this far.

I think it is just a case of taking one day at a time. If you can afford to have an early scan then now is a good time to do so. I had one at 8 weeks and it cost £90.

Congratulations and good luck.

My scan is in aug. DH and I are just holding tight till then really, doing all the stuff I M MEANT TO DO BUT NOT EXCITED oops

sorry caps but think DH is worried about birth too if we get that far.

Last bump

Hope it all works out for you this time.

I had a dreadful time giving birth to DS1 and it did make me/my body feel like a failure. Especially with all the antenatal classes and birth plans etc, we were made to feel like it was up to us how the birth went - but then in reality it was totally medically (mis)managed. I felt angry as the expectations I had been given were so wrong.

In my second pg I was very apprehensive but talking to the community midwife about what happened first time round really helped.

it is not uncommon to miscarry your first and have no further problems, especially as you have had one term pregnancy now there is
no reason to think you cannot carry this one to term.

hope all works out.

ditto for me Bushymoo

megcleary I can completely sympathise. I just don't trust my body to know what it's supposed to do this time round.

Have you ever had a chance to sit down with your MW or doctor from the first time around and go over your notes and experiences in detail? It might help you to process the trauma you went through if you had a few counselling sessions and talked about your fears and your feelings as you were going through the grinder.

Hi -

I can completely understand the feeling of distrust in your body that can come from experiencing miscarriage or births that have interventions. It's often not helpful to have messages such as 'relax, your body knows what to do' as helpful as they may be meant, because the logical opposite to that seems to be 'well, my body obviously didn't know what to do' or 'it's my fault, I should have been more relaxed'.

Missed miscarriage is a shocking thing to go through - especially when your body continues to give you all the symptoms of the pregnancy progressing. I recently experienced a 'blighted ovum' missed miscarriage - where no embryo developed at all, just the gestational sac, discovered at an early 'reassurance' scan. I had extremely strong pregnancy symptoms, no cramping or bleeding - as far as my body was concerned everything was progressing normally. At first I felt very angry and betrayed that my body would do this, couldn't even recognise that there wasn't a baby. But in time I actually came around to the idea that my body was just doing what it was supposed to - sustaining the pregnancy for as long as it could. There would have been a point where it couldn't, we just happened to have the scan before it reached that point so discovered the problem before it did. That's a symptom of modern antenatal care, not a symptom of an inept body. It was the embryo with the problem, not you.

Regarding the shaking after the epidural/spinal. This is a known side effect, I had it too, it was unpleasant for me and scary for my family to see, but not something 'wrong'. Lots of women having natural births also shake uncontrollably and no one would think of that as 'inept'.

I don't want to tell you how you should feel, but I would encourage you to try to feel more positively towards your body, I'm sure you've heard the 'every pregnancy is different' thing. There's no guarantees in this business, but you may find that your body knows exactly what to do this time around. Good luck.

Snuck back to see and wanted to say thanks. Not sure what the consultant apt will bring.

I will just be honest and explain my fears.

I just hope they are nice, not convayer belt medicine.

The literature from the hospital said you would be monitored throughout labour anyway as you had a previous section so it would be hard to get the "normal" walking around labour they espouse.

@megcleary - Have you read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth? I think it might give you some reassurance. It made me feel a lot more confident about my body's ability to deliver a baby.