What on earth am I going to do?

[PinkHairedMum]

Well, after the weekend feeling completely numb and crying constantly, I thought it would be helpful for me to get some advice from the ladies on here..

Here goes:

Well, I am a 32 year old single parent with a wonderful 6 year old little boy. We live together in my small 2 bed apartment.

I got pregnant at the beginning of the year which was a complete accident, with no other option really I chose to have an early termination. I went along and opted for the medical which involved taking these pills, going home and waiting for the inevetible... This happened OK, so I put it out of my mind, got on with my life etc....

Anyway, last week I felt something move in me. You guessed it - I was STILL pregnant. Now I am 20 weeks, no other option but to have this baby now, and it's absolutely terrifying me.

I have NO family at ALL. I really mean zero. No mum and dad around the corner to come bail me out, no siblings, nothing. I am totally alone, just me and my Son in this small little flat, a low income and stress. On top of all this, I was taking the depo jab throughout the entire thing, drinking heavily and partying. It's a total mess.

The Dr thinks I had a twin pregnancy which came away and the other remained, but now what? The baby could be severely deformed because of the abortion pill/depo/drinking. I am having scans this week to determine what's what, but either way, I have never felt so depressed in my life.

Have you ever heard of anything so screwed up in your life? What on earth am I going to do now....

How are you getting on pinkhairedmum? I read your post from my BB in hospital but couldnt reply until now!

Pinkhairedmum, hope things are ok, you can count on support here whatever you do.

Interesting post about the woman who sued in this situation. Surely there should be some sort of after check following a termination, to ensure the procedure has been successful?

Just seen this, I hope the scan went well pinkhairedmum x

Hi Pink.
I didn't know about no 1 til 14 weeks - which was about 6wks after Xmas (lots of parties!).
I can't decide what to do for you - I know what I would do but that doesn't really help you. However, what I wanted to say was that as a SE person you can get Maternity Allowance which (I believe) is that same as SMP. You need to have paid NI for a certain period beforehand (when I did it in 2007 it was about £24). The NI can be backdated (I had really bad SPD and when I told physio I couldn't give up work as was SE she said nonsense you can get MA, hadn't previously paid NI as was not earning enough). That should help a bit.
Please PLEASE don't feel guilty. You did what you thought best for you & your son. The fact that it didn't work out that way is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Have you been for your scan yet? I hope that result is what you wanted.
One small preachy note - depo is great for not being pregnant (I know, I had it too). But condoms are really essential for protecting against STIs. Otherwise you could have something worse than an unexpected pg to worry about. Preach over.
Good luck. Let us know how you get on.