when are you ready...

[HerMomminess]

for another baby?

DD1 is nealry a year. I HATED the first couple of months and can't believe I can now think of another!

Just wondering what gap you ladies 'left' that is to say if the gap was planned! I work fulttime and no nearby family but we have great nursery & fab family times.

On the one hand I cannot imagine another little being in our lives. And she is such a good baby (I was just scrambled at the start!). What if the next one is a nightmare/grumpy/non sleeping blah blah...You know what I mean. I know it is a leap of faith as always.

Interested in comments!

haha, dd1 just turned 6 and dd2 due any day now! wouldn't have considered it any sooner!

I am having mine as close together as possible. 3,1 and I'm due in 8 weeks with third. I just want it all to be close together so I do it once rather than staggering it out. If I am tied up looking after my children then why not look after all of them at same time. After my next one in September, I plan to try for 4th ASAP then I will stop so will hopefully have 4 under 5. People think I am mad, but I think they are mad for having huge gaps in between

I was planning on TTC when dd started nusery at 3.5 (starts in Aug)
Ds is 14 month btw Although I am feeling a wee bit broody now, maybe just because my sister is due??

Didnt mean that to sound rude to you jendaisy I meant my freinds really who call me mad - you didn't

Onedge- I am with you on this one. Get it all over with in one go and then they are all at roughly the same life stage so less to-ing and fro-ing

That said, my sis and I are 15 months apart and that was too close for us really. Although we did play together a lot, we also fought non-stop (still do )and there was a lot of competitive pressure as we were in consecutive school years and teachers made unhelpful comments like "Oh, I thought you'd be athletic like your sister" or "shame you didnt get the musical genes".

I think if we hadnt had such clashy personalities it would have worked out better, or if one of us had been a boy but you cant really know these things.

I'm aiming for a gap somewhere between 18-22 months for mine(but only having 2)

Well not everyone is as fortunate as you jjkm

jjkm - it sounds like you're doing the best thing for your family. But one size does not fit all! It shouldn't matter to you what other people choose to do, as long as what you do is right for you.

Back on topic...

DC2 is due in 3 weeks time, and which point DS1 will be 18 months old.

HerMommieness - I really struggled with the first two months, too!! I was so paranoid about getting pregnant then, that it almost totally put me off sex! However, by the time DS1 was 6 months old, we were trying again, and I couldn't believe how quickly I was able to get my head around having another.

I would like 3 altogether, and want to get being pregnant and breastfeeding all done and dusted by the time I'm 40. I'm 36.5 now, so that gives me a little bit of leeway.

DS is 2.6 and we're not just starting to think about TTC

I'd prefer a gap of 3 - 4 years. Firstly so you can savour everything DC2 does without being jaded about it because you did it a year or two ago with DC1. Secondly so you can trust DC1 a bit more - hopefully they have got past the running off/putting things in their mouths/poking baby stage by the time DC2 arrives.

Friends with bigger gaps say they find it difficult to plan days out that the whole family will enjoy.

Friends with small gaps say their kids are close, but they seem so exhausted while the children are young. Also it seems to me a bit like tearing open all your Christmas presents at once, rather than unwrapping each one in turn and really enjoying it.

DS was 20mths when I became pregnant with DC2 so there will be a 2yr 4mth age gap between them- just like I planned. I think it is a nice age gap, similar to my sister and I, even though we fought like cat and dog I think that was down to other circumstances. Whether siblings get on or not is more down to personality type than age gap IMO.

Interesting read. Cheers all! And again amazed at how diffferent views are' or how different strokes for different folk.

In reponse: jjkm as long as you have a plan for you but the same goes for others. Bit harsh judging there choices though . I really need my work identity. In practice my full time job would be 3 full days at work and occasional weekend so should get quality time with LO ('s!).Don' t know if htat makes sense.

I guess I am undecided as to how many (though I would never assume that easy peasy TTC just happens) but 2...maybe 3? I am aware that I am turning 35 this year (((!!))And DD is sooo cute that I don' t want to miss out either. Yet get it all out the way.

Man oh man!

As with all things in life I guess one can over analyse. When in fact you have limited control and planning is sometimes no use. Just go with the flow...

Cheers again!

And happy days to the pregnant ladies out there!

One of the main reasons we've gone for a 3yr+ gap is the free child nursery hours, and the short gap between DC2 being born and DC1 going to school.

I'll actually still be able to return to work after the theoretical DC2 arrives, and there's no way I'm giving up my ideal job and pension. If we had two closer together then I'd have had to stay home for a couple of years as my salary wouldn't have covered child care

Good point JTGK.Even tho not full 5 days at work we will still have to pay full time nursery to cover odd unpredictability.

X posted!

5 year age gap and even then it was gulp, hold nose, jump in

As soon as Ds was born I wanted to do it again! I was lucky to have an intervention free birth and felt almighty afterwards! (Hear me roar!)

Hes's now 5 months. A couple of weeks ago I had a moment of thinking I might be pg and crapped my self!

I do want to have more, and def sooner rather than late, but know how exhausting it all is (being pg and looking after baby) so am glad it's not just yet! Maybe ttc when ds is 1.3. That would be ideal as I loved ds being born at the time of year that he was so woud aim for that again. Concieved first throw of the dice last time so have unreaistically high expectations for next time!

It took until DS was 18 months old until I was ready to have another one. He wasn't an easy baby and I'm not really a baby person. But unfortunately I am self-employed so DH felt we needed money behind us in case I had pregnancy related problems and couldn't work. Have made it to 33weeks with no time off (I'm a childminder so have taken kids with me to appointments, with parents permission) and so still have the money in the bank.

DS is now 3 and 2 months and is very independant so I think I will have an easier time than other mums I know who are in the process of potty training and pregnant at the same time but in an ideal world I wouldn't have wanted such a big gap. He is very aware of what's happening, although I don't think he realises the impact the baby will have, and is very excited about being a big brother which is lovely.

Every gap have it's up and down sides imo so you just have to do what's right for you. You can weigh up pros and cons forever but I think you just have to go with your gut!

Cheers all. Still enjoy the read. Working with kids at the moment and my emotions range from thinking def want another one to absolute panic- especially realising the blessing to have a happy and HEALTHY baby- something that is up to the roll of the dice.

greyhound I know you' re right: a matter of going for it when your' re ready. Over analysing is dangerous.

No probs JJ