Hi hereagain.
I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through.
I can't answer all your questions but can tell you a little about my history.
I had my last baby in 2006 via c-section, this was my 3rd c-section. I still wanted another baby so started trying again shortly after i'd given birth.
I tried for just over a year which was quite unusual for me but i thought that maybe its just one of those things.
I finally got my BFP in Oct 2007, about a week or so later i'd had my HCG levels done & they were very low. GP told me i was going to miscarry & to go home..... went home & did indeed start bleeding. That loss was very very painful with very very heavy bleeding.
December 2007 i got a suprise BFP.... unfortunately my pregnancy tests started getting lighter & i started bleeding at around 5+5. A scan about a week later showed nothing left in the womb.
I spent 2008 under a consultants care, having blood tests, sperm tests & HSG done. Everything came back normal.
April 2009 got a BFP, went straight in for an early scan at 5+2, scan showed a 'possible' tiny something in the womb but by then i'd already started bleeding. Scan 2 days later showed nothing.
September 2009 got a BFP same thing happened all over again.
Consultant was confused & as frustrated as i was that we weren't seeing anything in the womb.
December 2009 got a BFP again. This time things were different. He saw what he called an 'impressive mass' in the womb, i again was already bleeding. The heavy bleeding continued for a week until they decided i needed a d&c. I was complaining of left sided pain but they never saw the tube or ovary. I always get left sided pain from my ovary so i don't think they took me seriously. Just over a week after my d&c .... they basically discovered it was ectopic.... only because i was still bleeding and in agony & insisted on a scan & my hcg levels checked again.
Emergency surgery over christmas for the removal of my left tube.
A few weeks later i saw my consultant & a top doctor at the hospital do discuss my ectopic & the hospital very poor treatment of me.
My consultant said that during the surgery they had seen lots of scar tissue & my left tube had been stuck to my bowels. He said he thought that ALL my losses had been ectopic & that the other 4 had just aborted themselves from the tube before forming into a full ectopic. To some extent i thought it was true as the pain esp with my first loss, i did wonder if it'd been stuck in the tube. However i was doubtful that they'd all been ectopic.
April 2010 - BFP.... massive shock as i don't O from my right side. I guess that my consultant was right because i'm currently 14 weeks.... this is the first pregnancy since my son in 2006 that got past 6 weeks.
So to finally answer about the ectopic, my ectopic they say was unusual as my hcg levels were low.... around 300 when i started bleeding internally & in horrendous pain. I didn't have spotting with it, i had heavy, bright red bleeding. The pain i was experiencing for about 2-3 weeks was managable until that night when i got go bad that i could sit, lie down & i was shaking.
My early losses all started bleeding around 5 - 5.5 weeks, the very first was very painfuly but the others weren't as painful as that one but still were painful. All my pain was together with bleeding. Never experienced pain & little or delayed bleeding.
I do get cysts on my ovaries but they've never mentioned these being a problem although they are bloody painful.
How to deal with the disappointment.... hun i can't tell you that. I think you need to work through it the best you can.
Apart from my husband, i got no support from anyone. My sister thought i was a self b for not being all excited whilst she had her twins or her other baby. My SIL said i was selfish for putting my husband through all of it.
I think with the first loss it hit me hard, i was so gutted & upset. The 2nd was hard too. However with the 3rd & 4th i was kinda expecting it & although i was upset i kinda got stronger with each loss. The 5th loss... it took me about 2 months before i hit me & then i cried for hours.
I think i could have decided that enough was enough & give in but i was sure that i'd get my baby some day. Its taken a long time & 5 losses but i'm so glad i didn't give in.
People don't understand why its upsetting as my manager so kindly put it.... oh well it was only a mass of cells. They may be just cells to everyone else but they were the beginning of my little baby that i'd dreamt of.
Have your hospital done any blood tests on you, not ones whilst you've been pregnant? If not they really should be getting the ball rolling & testing you to see if they can find a reason for your losses.
I wish you lots of luck & hope you get your baby soon. Don't give up & if you need someone to talk to, you can send me a pm.
x