3.4 year old needs to be trained in 12 weeks - will it be a nightmare?

[nikki1978]

DS starts at the pre-school attached to DDs school in Sept. I had decided to leave him to it with regards to potty training and a month ago he did a wee on the potty several times with no prompting from me. I am pretty busy with 2 jobs and 2 kids so didn't try and force the issue at that point but he hasn't progressed since then so I need to start properly training him I think.

Do I just stick him in pants and see what happens? He seems to be good at going when he is naked on the bottom half but obviously I can't do this all the time!

DD kind of did things in her own time but she is a Sept baby and he is Feb so she had more time before pre-school.

We lead a busy life and are always out and about rushing around so I can't really sit at home with him for a week (plus I think I will go mad if I just concentrate on potty training).

Any tips?

I'm pretty sure that it will all be easier than you fear. Do bare bottom in the house and yes pants always out of the house. Invest in a travel potty now. Its worth it. Then to kick things of I would think about some kind of reward for every success he has on potty. Stickers, choc buttons, mini haribo. You get the idea. Initially you may find he starts squeezing out a tiny drop every five minutes just for another sweet but go with it. It will ease of.
Also think about how often you're going to remind him and see if you can get him to try first thing in morning, before meals, 20mins after drink/meal, before you leave house and when you get home. ( Sorry if this is majorly patronising but don't know how much advice you're after.)
Try not to pester him too much cos it confuses them and hinders their ability to learn their own feelings and cues.
My son was slow to catch on with the poos. We have had alot of poos in the pants. I carry latex gloves in my change bag now after a hideous incident at the park!
Go for it! I'm sure he'll have it in 12 weeks.

I did DS at 3 (now 5) for exactly the same reason. All the following was gleaned from Mumsnet at the time and much of it from the legend that is/was Cod who was queen of potty training.

So I took a Friday off work with Dh having the Monday off in June/July.

In the run-up to it, I started getting him to use the potty before the bath, no stress just practising. And I bought one of those loo seats which he was very intrigued by.

I bought lots of pants but let him choose them - he found it all v exciting.

Then on the friday, weather was good and he was v excited about the big day. Potty lived with me. One up, one down stairs, tons of cheap loo roll for accidents and spillage. Spray detol thing for quick cleaning of potties and again cheap loo roll. Agreed a treat with DS for each pee in the potty. We chose one choc button. Immediate reward and possibility of several a day without it being a packet.

Started with nothing but pants, after four accidents I abandoned that and took all bottom half clothes and went into the garden. That did the trick. First pee, was a total, what's that what's happening form DS. Then he started to click that the feeling meant the willy. Gave him plenty to drink too to increase frequency.

Ker-ching. Within three days accidents were way rarer. Moved to pants on Day 2 and 3. He was very excied on Day 2 to get up and put pants not nappy on. We didn't go anywhere for four days and stayed at home so no stress at all. Checked with them him fairly often if he needed one, but didn't obsess. he actually peed about once an hour at that stage I think. After that I went everywhere by car, took potty everywhere and cleaning kit and praised, praised, praised. Never ever cross about it. Washing machine went a lot. Phased out buttons by day 3 as much as possible. But always give treat quickly after a success.

Think him being older helped a lot. By the end of the summer it was all sorted and he'd settled into it. Didn't need the potty to go everywhere and had got into using public loos. Poos came as part of the process. When he got to school never a problem as he'd been at it for 2-3 months, not a "new" thing so well entrenched habit.

Now night time, I still haven't cracked, so any advice welcome ...

I left potty training until DS was 3, despite much pressure from MIL.

A week after his birthday we went cold turkey on day time nappies. For the first two days I encouraged him to wee about every hour. Third day I decided to see if he would tell me if he needed to wee. We had only one accident. Since then wees have been sorted, just very rare accidents if he is totally engrossed in something.

Poos took about a week as I think he found the sensation of pooing sitting down really wierd. I bribed him (kept aside some of his birthday gifts) as by day three he was starting to hold onto poos. This gave him the incentive to try to 'push' his poos out despite the wierd feeling!!

He has been dry at night since day 5, despite drinking a big cup of milk before bed. However, I admit to using night time pull-ups just in case!!

We went out and about as usual during the first few days. Its worth being prepared though just in case- travel potty, towel on car seat, lots of spare clothes etc..

I think we were really lucky as DS was fully ready at the age we started. I feel sure that it was him being ready that made it so easy.

I think it will be fine actually. But it would be better if you can take a few days off to concentrate on this - it is important and will be better for you because you admittedly lead a busy life.

Reward chart works well for me 'potty star' is a very well known phrase in our house!

night-time, phase out drink before bed by giving it after dinner nd before bath and then at about 10pm (but different for every child) go in and do the dream wee. Wake them a little, sit them on potty and mostly of the time you will find a wee there when it is time to place them back in bed. Saying that, my DD1 did dream wee every night, but DD2 will not do a dream wee 9 times out of 10.

Also, invest in those bed mats that are washable (from boots) and then put one on under the bottom sheet, if there is any accidents you can whip it off quickly and wash it the next day (I have 2 and layer them for quick stripping) I would not use pull ups at night, for me, only when I did away with the pullups at night did DD2 start being dry every night. It's like with the pullups she didn't have to worry and was a little lazy. With the bed mats she wees she gets wet, and she does not like it!