Not progressing

[anonMum2]

We are quite lost as to what to do with DS's potty training. He's just turned 2 and has been potty training around 5 months now I think. He was ok at the beginning, as in ready, always noticed when he was wet, told us he wanted to go etc. However, as he attends nursery 4 days a week, he had constant accidents there. We went through a phase whereby he had no accidents whatsoever with us, but around 6-10 accidents at nursery. We went through several different phases. But basically, over time he got accustomed to having wet pants, due to the constant wetting at nursery and now he doesn't even bother to tell us he wants to go anymore and happily sits in his wet pants. Sometimes, when he wets his pants a little and you try and get him to use to toilet, he throws a tantrum - as though he's realised that he's let us all down by wetting his pants.

It's so difficult for us to stop because he is pretty good now in that he can hold his wee for around 2 hours and go when we take him to the toilet. Poos are a breeze as he uses the toilet, thankfully, so I don't have to sniff his soiled nappies with my morning sickness! In that sense, we are saving loads of nappies and effort. However, if there's anything unpredictable such as drinking too much water or if he's quite active, he doesn't bother to tell us that he needs to go and hence the wet pants. It's very frustrating. He still comes home from nursery with 3 wet pants everyday.

Is there anything we can do apart from stopping and starting again? Is there a technique or method we can use to 'crack' this last bit? Needless to say, we have tried quite a few things but sometimes all it takes is for someone to say something sensible and we may realise what we're doing wrong.

Thanks!

anonmum I'm no expert but didn't want your post to go unanswered. TBH my instinct would be to stop and start again. 2 is still really young and he'll probably still do poos on the toilet if that's what he's used to. Might just give him and you a break (and stop the tantrums) and also remind him again of the difference between wet and dry. Or perhaps pull-ups? That way he can still be perfecting his toilet technique so to speak but it'll save you the stress of cleaning up all the accidents and remind him what dry feels like. Like I say, not an expert but that's the first thing that comes to mind

I agree that you should stop and start again. And that he is in nappies again may actually remind your DS that he needs to be dry to be re-introduced to his big boy pants.

Also, have you had a word with the nursery? Hopefully it is not the case that they are slow taking notice of him when he wants a wee, so he has just given up trying to make it?

I agree with others, he is still very young, I would put him back in nappies until he is older. Just take some of the stress off him a bit really. I am potty training my dd 3.3years and it is so much easier than it was when i tried at 2. Comprehension is better and they are more aware generally when they are older me thinks.

I agree with others, he is still very young, I would put him back in nappies until he is older. Just take some of the stress off him a bit really. I am potty training my dd 3.3years and it is so much easier than it was when i tried at 2. Comprehension is better and they are more aware generally when they are older me thinks.

I've actually tried the pull-up thing for 2 weeks when we were on holiday, just to get him used to being dry again and to take the pressure off all of us whilst enjoying our holidays. We thought surely it would do us no harm since he's having mini-accidents nearly everyday anyway.

But after that 2 weeks(that's when we sent him back to nursery and nursery wanted to continue PT), it was a nightmare as it felt like we had to start from scratch, the re-training only lasted a few days but to me and DH it felt like an eternity.. it was probably made worse as he was settling back into nursery as well. Then, rather getting trained, he settled back down on the same old routine whereby he's doing extremely well apart from the small accidents nearly everyday, hence where we are now. Perhaps 2 weeks wasn't long enough to get him to forget, and pull-ups aren't the same as going back to nappies and not using the toilet at all?

Have already had lots of words with nursery. They seem to say the right things but I know, for example, they never take him straight to the potty after he wakes up as he always poos/wees in his pull-ups when he wakes up with them, whereas I know he always holds his bladder, and without a doubt his bowel movements, for more than 10-20 minutes after waking up from afternoon naps. So in that sense, I do realise that nursery is probably letting us down a bit but there's not much I can do about it as they always say the right things, IYSWIM. Also, my son has a favourite, as he always tells me that he will only ever "tell xyz" if he needs the toilet. So what happens when she isn't there?! I've tried educating him but he still says he'll only ever tell that one nursery nurse, whom I have to admit is the nicest and most observant of the lot.

Just can't bear having to start all over again in a few weeks or even few months time. Perhaps it's just my pg sickness making everything seem more daunting. Perhaps there will come a point when DH and I are so fed up we will just buy nappies again.

If he's having this many accidents and needs to be reminded, he's probably too young.

My experience - with girls of almost 3 - is that (once they buy in to the idea) it's not a question of training...they just do it.

(Saying that, dd2 won't wee in a potty and asks for a nappy to do her wees and poos in! but she is utterly reliable - she didn't need training - she just needed to buy into the idea of wearing pants and I had to accept that a nappy was a convenient receptacle)