public pottying etiquette?

[SoTiredOfTheWheelsOnTheBus]

Am not really sure whether to post here or in aimbu? What is the etiquette for your dc to use a potty in a public place?

DS (3) is just potty-trained. He will use the potty at home, and seems reasonably happy with it (he always says 'look', and brings one of his toys over to see what he has done in the potty ). My question is about going out. We try to go out for a walk every day, and he will always sit on the potty before we go out, but won't always do something. I've got a potette, and take it out when we go, but am I being unreasonable in using it outside? If ds says he needs the potty, I'm not comfortable in making him wait 10 or 15 minutes until I can find a seculded spot with no one walking past. There are no public loos in our town, and the big town nearby does have loos in the supermarket, but if you are on the other side of town, that is still a 10 minute walk away, and ds cannot hold on that long. If he says he needs a wee, I've been leaving shops and trying to find a quieter side-street/alleway to set up the potty. I was in a residential street recently when ds needed to go, and sat him down in a corner, next to a wall and got some extremely loud and rude comments from passing people, which afterwards upset me a bit. I didn't respond at the time as I was dealing with ds, and didn't want him to associate what he was doing with something bad. I try to sit ds down in a quiet spot, with me in front of him, so I am trying to be a bit discreet. If we have the buggy with us, I use that to shield him as well. I'm not using peoples gardens or anything like that, and obviously with the potette, there is no waste as everything is bundled up and secured, but am I being unreasonable to expect people to accept this? How on earth do you manage to leave the house otherwise? Should I just commit myself to not leaving the house at all this year until he can hold it in a bit more ?
How do other parents deal with this - am I being normal in my expectations?

I used to do exactly as you, find a corner away from where people are walking, shield ds on the potette with the pushchair/me. You are doing nothing wrong in helping your child to use a potty, those people are rude and ignorant. I bet every one of them were held over drain/gutter/grass at some point during their toddlerhood, when potettes didn't exist. And I bet they have been outdoors as adults too, when desperate. I would draw the line at a child using the potette in the middle of a cafe or a supermarket aisle.

When a child needs to go, you help them as quickly as poss. If people have a problem with that, it's just tough, they can look elsewhere. If people comment again, tell ds they are jealous of his fabulous potette!!

Don't take any noticeof peoples comments or just say "he needs a wee, would you rather he just go on the pavement?!" Anyone saying anything about a child using a potty out and about obviously doesn't have children of their own (unless you are in the middle of a shop).

My DD (2) is just potty trained aswell, i don't take a potty out as she can usually wait for me to find a loo or a quiet spot behind a nush or something. I have however let her squat and do a wee on a grassy bit of a pavement, in full view of houses. At the end of the day if a child needs a wee then they need a wee, don't worry about what other people think

Suprised to hear that people weren't happy with pottying in public. I was strugglingonce with DD1 and a mum stopped to demo 'the hold'. Both DDs have been dangled everywhere since, a friend's mum told me you used to see young toddlers being pottied over the grates in the road all the time.

Thank you. I didn't think I was doing anything particularly out of the ordinary, but I was still surprised by the comments. As you say, it's not like I'm sitting him in the middle of a shop or cafe.

Don't do what I did. Allowed dd1 to wee on the potty in a cafe without thinking about where I was going to put the wee...I had to carry a very full potty through the cafe to the toilets!

I have seen mine (and my friends children) use pottettes and potties all over the place). Parks, secluded street corner...what was your passerby expecting a child to do.

Oh, and I've seen children using trees and drains.

Children have to be quite free range about it nowdays, because there are very few public toilets left.

Just one thing I'd add - you mentioned in your original post that you have 'been leaving shops to find a quiet side street'. Do remember that ALL shops have staff loos. If you turn desperately to a shop assistant and say, help, DS needs to go to the loo, I've just potty trained him and he can't hold it, they will nearly always take you to their loo rather than risk a puddle on their floor!! I have done this on quite a few occasions!!

DH was a bit grumpy the other day when a mother was holding her DD to do a wee in the street outside our house, but only because she was about 5 metres from a drain and he felt she should have held the DD over the drain rather than just in the street and I agree with that.

Anyone who complains about this is an arse IMO.

If he's gotta go, he's gotta go.

Look don't worry, this bit will pass really soon, they get better at holding it and less prepared to do it just anywhere - actually scrub that, he's a boy - he will always enjoy al fresco peeing. But you won't always have to carry a potette at least!