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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Potty training an 18mo non-walking bottom shuffler... Can it be done?

18 replies

tethersend · 04/05/2010 21:56

Any tips or ideas for potty training my DD gratefully received... Or should I just wait until she's walking?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 04/05/2010 22:01

Why so young? She's not even walking!

I think 18 mths old is far too young, they just don't have the control over their bladder, they can't be reasoned with and it will probably be so stressful it might traumatise her and put her off for a very long time.

I like the saying 'If you start potty-training them at 2, they'll be dry by 3, if you start at 3, they'll be dry by 3.' The longer you wait, the easier it will be, make it fun and light-hearted. When they can ask questions and take a genuine interest in the toilet and such functions then they are old enough to understand.

18 moths way too young IMHO.

McDreamy · 04/05/2010 22:03

Have to agree - why do you want to potty train her now? Isn't it a bit soon? Has she any idea she is going?

EddieIzzardismyhero · 04/05/2010 22:03

Why would you want to?!

Is she showing any signs of being ready?

Think you'd be making your life very hard!

Original poster

tethersend · 04/05/2010 22:05

I think you've just told me what I wanted to hear, thank you

Just a few well-chosen comments from in-laws irked.

Plus, I haven't really got a fucking clue what I'm doing

What you are saying makes good sense.

OP posts:

TheCrackFox · 04/05/2010 22:07

I would imagine that your DD would be far too busy concentrating on walking to bother with a potty right now.

Ignore the PIL's your DD will do it when she is ready.

Clary · 04/05/2010 22:07

Does she seem keen?

I personally am not in favour of the move I witness on MN not to potty train until 3yo. My DS2 was terrifically keen at about a month before he was 2 (he has older siblings and wore washables which may have helped) but that would make a lot of posters go ; he was certainly ready tho and totally dry very soon.

However, 18mo is very young; it's not about the bum shuffle as much as communication and control really. Why do you want to start now?

Clary · 04/05/2010 22:07

oh sorry x-posted with you OP.

Original poster

tethersend · 04/05/2010 22:15

No prob, Clary; thanks for taking time to reply.

TheCrackFox, you would think she would be concentrating on walking, wouldn't you? She couldn't give a toss. Downright lazy.

OP posts:

doggiesayswoof · 04/05/2010 22:21

Oh I love it when PIL think they should be potty trained at

I am in total denial on this topic - DS is 23 months and I realise I will have to at least think about it in the next year (or so)

DD was 2.9 when we started and it was a bit too early for her, tho I'm sure it would have been the right age for some.

LadyintheRadiator · 04/05/2010 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 04/05/2010 22:30

I really think it depends on the child - I am sure you'll start noticing signs which will alert you to the fact she might be becoming more receptive to it.

There are two ways to do it as well - you can go for the slow long way which is basically where you introduce the idea of a potty or toilet seat and don't talk about it overly or try and persuade the child to use them but just offer it as an option, and wait until they get more predictable with it before you put them into pants.

Or you have the more intensive/quick method which is wait until they are definitely old enough to understand etc and do it all over a few weeks - the summer after they turn 2 is supposed to be a good time, because you can let them run around naked in the garden so accidents won't happen so much.

EddieIzzardismyhero · 04/05/2010 22:31

Clary, I don't think there is anything wrong with potty training a child before 2 1/2 or 3 if they are showing signs of being ready. I think the consensus is, where the child is not showing signs of being ready, there is nothing wrong with waiting until they're 3.

My DS1 is the 23 mths now and he is nowhere near ready for potty training - he can't even talk!

I have not intention of starting potty training until next Spring but if he suddenly learns to talk and starts begging to use the potty in the next month I may change my mind .

EddieIzzardismyhero · 04/05/2010 22:32

Apologies for all the typos!

Original poster

tethersend · 04/05/2010 22:37

DD can talk, and says 'poo' when she's done/doing one, but what with her being a bottom shuffler, it's the dragging said poo on arse across carpet which doesn't sit well with me. And we've got sisal carpet, so her arse would be in tatters.

I will wait I think

OP posts:

EddieIzzardismyhero · 04/05/2010 23:06

Hmm, yes, wiping her arse on sisal would be painful!

Yer, wait til she can walk and then, what with the verbal skills, sounds like she'd be ready pretty soon after .

girlywhirly · 05/05/2010 10:31

tethersend, take no notice of the ils, do what you feel is right for your dd.

However, you could introduce a potty if you think she is willing, get her to sit on it for a couple of minutes, and praise for staying on it, make no comment if she gets off. Praise if she does something, but again no comment if not. Put nappy back on. We are not talking training in the way most people mean i.e. removing nappies altogether and the child has to use potty or loo. The child doesn't need to have bowel or bladder control. It is a gentle method of accustoming a child to a potty, and allowing it to be part of the daily routine. The number of times the child sits during the day can be gradually increased, after meals for example, or at nappy change times. There is no pressure on the child and you have the back-up of nappies. At this age there will be no confusion about using potty and wearing nappies. This can go on for months before you or your dd finally decide the time is right for the more intensive training. The child also gets used to seeing what they have produced in the potty, and are not afraid of it. Some older children who have never seen a poo in a potty are horrified, because it looks nothing like the misshapen mess in their nappy, and refuse point blank to do it again, resulting in with-holding/constipation, or lots of soiled pants. And some can't bear the feeling of something 'dropping away' from them, so getting used to that is useful.

I can't help wondering why parents who suddenly produce a potty and expect their child to sit on this alien object and deliver the goods at 2.5 - 3yrs because this is when they think it should be done, are surprised and angry when the child flatly refuses. The child needs to be confident about the potty before they can tackle no nappies as well.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to present a different outlook on potty training which a lot of people are not aware is an option.

maxybrown · 05/05/2010 19:45

My Ds is 2 yrs 7 months and ca hardly talk so rather awkward - BUT! he knows exactly what a potty is for and the toilet, he also know Mummy & Daddy don't use the potty so for him he sees that as a bit odd so jsut went straight to toilet. he was fab for pohs but no idea when it came to wee so have shelved it for now. His bladder just obviously not ready yet - would be so much easier for her when she can walk though I imagine!

mum2oneloudbaby · 06/05/2010 22:01

agree strongly with girlywhirly. also (not that i had any option on this one ) let her come to the loo with you it then begins to be natural and normal.

i used this route with dd as i'm a sahm so no nursery friends or older siblings to copy so introduced it all very gently and then went for it when she was interested.

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