How do they learn when to go?

[preggersplayspop]

We have deliberately taken it very slowly with potty training, ds is nearly 3 and we introduced a potty ages ago so he could get used to it. He uses this to do poos and has done for months. At nursery, they take him to the toilet with the others and he does wees there. He will sometimes do wees on the potty or toilet at home too, but only if we encourage him to sit on it.

When I have tried the next step (putting him in pants) he just wees in the pants, so I didn't worry about trying to push it. Especially as I had another baby 5 months ago I didn't want any more upheaval for him.

I'm giving it a go this week with pants again and he is having plenty of accidents (wees). He's getting annoyed with me asking him if he wants to go for a wee too! He is, however, pulling off the wet pants and trousers as soon as it happens (which is an improvement on when I previously tried him in pants when he just didn't notice he was wet)

So my question is, how do they learn the feeling of needing a wee? Do I just let him carry on having a few accidents until he realises its unpleasant and is more proactive about getting to the loo? I'm worried if I just keep taking him to the toilet he'll never actually learn for himself when its time to go (or am I making this too complicated?)

How about no pants and trousers at home, so that he knows there is nothing to catch an accident! And he can get himself to a potty if you have one close by, if the problem is very short time between realising a wee is coming and actually doing it. This is about maximising his chances of getting his wee in the right place. I think not having to get his pants and trousers down in time may buy him those vital extra seconds! When he gets better at anticipating you can phase out the potty and he will have time to get himself to the loo.

If he gets annoyed with being asked if he needs a wee, tell him that he is going to try, he goes at nursery because they take him regardless, without the option to refuse.

Thanks for the reply girlywhirly. I am a bit reluctant to try without pants entirely, as when I have done that previously (sort of accidently, between nappies) he wee'd on the sofa and after I washed the covers I found they were dry clean only (and have never been the same since!).

I think you may be right about the potty though, bringing it closer to him rather than expecting him to get to the loo and eventually phasing it out. He did do a wee on the potty this evening, after I put him on it and told him 'right, do a wee now please before I put your PJs on' - so I also think you are right about telling him to go, rather than asking him 'do you need a wee?' all the time.

He's very good at saying 'I need a poo!' and taking himself off to the toilet, I'm just waiting for him to do the same for wees. I suppose I should be a bit more patient and not expect it to happen immediately.

You can protect your sofa with disposable bedwetting mats under a throw or a blanket which is easy to wash, the mats stop the wee soaking through, and your sofa still looks decent for visitors. Or a cheap vinyl shower curtain with old towels on top, and throw on top of that if you want to use washable stuff.

I'm finding for a boy, just pants is my preferred option:
They stop him spraying up the wall (just runs down his legs)
They let me know if he's been (so I can look for the puddle)
They are quicker to get off than trousers.

My DS is 2.6, and now seems to feel the pressure and either touches himself or starts to dance about. This is the point I make him sit down - we are catching about 75% this way.
I too find that if I continually ask, he can't / won't go. He still won't tell me he needs to go, but I hope that by me telling him and rewarding him with stickers, he'll eventually learn to tell me...

We are doing chocolate buttons!

He was at nursery today and only had one accident all day, which is brilliant, and 3 wees and one poo in the potty at home with me before he went. All prompted though. I don't ever see any signs of him about to go though, but I guess this comes with time.

Bought another potty today though, so I can keep one upstairs and one downstairs.