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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

2 days without success - should I give up?!

25 replies

Treacle1973 · 31/03/2010 17:11

I've started potty training my son who'll be 3 in May but he doesn't seem to get the idea at all.

He wees and poos on the floor without any attempt to get the potty or toilet.

I think he can hold his bladder because today he held it in for almost 6 hours!

Do you think I should give up or carry on?

Everyone says to wait until they're 'ready' but what is 'ready' and how do you know?

This is my first time on Mumsnet so hope I've got the idea!!

Thanks a lot

OP posts:

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GetDownYouWillFall · 31/03/2010 18:09

Hi Treacle! Welcome to MN!!

If he's nearly 3 I think you need to persevere a bit longer really.

Does he recognise when he's "going" (i.e. look of concentration etc.)?
Is he able to follow simple instructions?
Is he able to sit and concentrate on something for 10mins? (e.g. a tv programme)
Can he make attempts at dressing himself?

I think a nearly 3 year old should be ready really (tho of course boys are usually later than girls)

Have you tried novelty pants and sticker charts as they are good motivators. Also 3 successes for a small treat?

Have you taken him to the toilet when you need a wee and showed him "how to do it" / encourage him to sit on the potty whilst you sit on the toilet?

Keep going! You will get there. Loads of praise is the key and absolutely no disapproval / anger etc when he has an accident - hard as it is!

Good luck! x

Original poster

Treacle1973 · 31/03/2010 19:13

Hmm... yes tried all of those things but I guess it's just patience then.

I was just kind of hoping there'd be one or two successes to get us going!

He denies he's doing anything, even when he's clearly sitting in a trouser-full of poo, perhaps he's ashamed or something.

Anyway, thanks for the advice...!
T

OP posts:

LittlePJS · 01/04/2010 00:19

Hi Treacle
My second son was 3 two weeks ago and is very similar to yours in that he will quite happily sit in his own poo without it bothering him. Recently he said to my hubby that he did not want to wear nappies anymore so we have decided that Easter Monday we are going to go for it, also hoping that the weather will improve to help with washing etc.

Dont worry - my eldest son was the other way at 18 months he was telling us he needed to wee and was toilet trained at 2.5years

They all take their own time, I just keep telling myself that he wont go to school in nappies.

Original poster

Treacle1973 · 01/04/2010 09:53

Yes, that's the worry - school in nappies... god! Thanks for your kind words! T

OP posts:

ArtyJennie · 01/04/2010 09:59

I tried potty training my dd (2.5) on monday but by wednesday we had had no success (and a lot of puddles!) i could see she was getting stressed so i've decided to leave it for a bit-my instinct is saying she's just not ready yet.

Its difficult to know what to do isnt it!

Meglet · 01/04/2010 10:00

I'd stick with it for a bit longer. If he can hold it in then you should crack it.

Angeleyesmum · 01/04/2010 19:38

Hi Treacle - I like you am quite new to Mumsnet and am also in the midst of PT (on Day 7 today. Taking into account all my 7 days of experience, I would suggest the following (worked for me) - am sure you would have already tried this anyway:

Try putting him in character pants - if he has a fave character eg Thomas
Try and get potty or toilet seat with a fave character
White choc buttons worked for me - my DD (2 yrs 2 mths) produced something for those buttons most of the time - I would only give them to her after she did something
Lots of whooping, clapping and mad dancing - I had a song about my DD doing weewee and we went crazy singing it once she did something

We had plenty of accidents on Day 1 and 2. On day 3 and 4 I took her at 30 min intervals (or 15 min after she had had something to drink)- only a couple of accidents on those days. On day 5 took her out for while once in the morning and once in the afternoon with pants on - we went to friends' houses for a couple of hours each to see if she weed there - again timed it well so she did. On day 6 - I gave her the responsibility of telling me she wanted to go for wee/poo - lots of accidents in the morning but she started telling me in the afternoon a couple of times. Day 7 - have taken her to the nursery to get her to wee there and to tell her careworker ( so that she does not associate weeing with only telling me and doing it in the house) - she didnt tell her careworker but her careworker timed it well too and took her regularly.

Hang in there cos they tend to twig at some point esp if you keep driving the point home and carry on with the whooping and choc buttons for a while.

Sorry for the long one - thought I would try and give you all that I had done. Hope it helps.

lovechoc · 01/04/2010 19:39

I also tried DS who will be 3yo later this month (tried two days last week) but decided to stay relaxed about it not working out and put him back in nappies. He did pee in he potty on the first day after two 'accident's earlier in the afternoon but the second day he had two 'accident' (pee variety) one after the other so that made my mind up that now just isn't the time. He does ask for the potty occasionally and always uses it every night before his bath, but is unable to go a whole day using a potty in 'big boy pants'. I know he will do it when he is ready so there's no point getting upset over it.

I'd personally just leave it for now until the better weather comes in and try again. An extra few months in nappies won't do any harm.

bexxaa · 02/04/2010 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SingleMum01 · 02/04/2010 13:23

It took my DS a good 2 weeks to get the idea of potty training (he was 2 1/2). I used to have special baskets of toys for using just while on the potty - that kept him sitting on it a bit longer! We basically didn't go anywhere for the 2 weeks, did it in the summer so didn't have to faff around getting trousers down! Kept him in pants, not switching from pants to nappies and just persevered. I still didnt feel confident with him being fully potty trained for a good 6 mths after so used to take a porta potty out with us - although he rarely needed it. HTH

lovechoc · 02/04/2010 15:55

I think it's fine if you have a child who is happy to wander around with only pants on, but DS won't do this, he gets upset about not having his trousers on which means more washing for me. I'll wait until he really is ready before embarking on PT again!

maxbear · 03/04/2010 20:38

lovechoc you have extremely high standards to put him back in nappies after 2 accidents! My 3 y o ds had many accidents today on his first day of pt but I reckon having accidents is how he learns. Might put him back in nappies if he doesn't improve at all in 4 or 5 days but will give him a good chance to crack it.

lovechoc · 04/04/2010 08:55

tbh maxbear I'm 6 months pg and I cannot be bothered constantly changing him, I'm knackered most the time and DH is working long days plus overtime on top of that, so much of it is left only to myself to deal with. So I'd rather wait a bit longer - nothing to do with high standards at all!!

SingleMum01 · 04/04/2010 09:08

maxbear - I would really try and give it a couple of weeks if you can.

Maratch · 04/04/2010 11:11

Treacle I really sympathise, we are on day 3 of potty training DS (aged 2 years 8 months)...lots of accidents, very frustrating! He knows exactly what he needs to do but doesn't want to use the potty - he's holding it all in and point blank refuses to have a wee until he's absolutely desperate...does anyone have any advice for this? I am determined to keep going as I know he is ready and really understands what's going on...just doesn't want to cooperate! We are bribing with chocolate & peppa pig, have thomas pants and thomas potty etc etc

SingleMum01 · 04/04/2010 13:29

is there some reason he doesn@t like the potty? Maybe he could choose a special one or toilet seat etc.

you're only on day 3 - keep persevering it;ll happen as he sounds ready

wondermum1 · 04/04/2010 20:08

Hi Guys

Started toilet training ds on thursday afternoon. First wee was on toilet - so exciting! Nothing else that day. Next day 3 accidents, two wees on loo, one wee and poo on loo. We got over excited! Saturday - 3 accidents two wees on loo. Today ONE wee on loo, rest accidents. Meant to be going out with friends tomorrow and very very scared about him being in pants. About to give up and feel like you all do - if ready then go for it and if not back in nappies but he's at nursery on tuesday and what happens if not trained?!!! Urgh, this is worse than sleep training!

Good luck all x

Dominique07 · 05/04/2010 00:33

DS (3 in June) is taking nicely to the potty today, quite independently running to the potty a few times he almost didn't make it so I don't think he gets much warning.
However he doesn't seem able to take off his pants or trousers so I don't know what will happen after this (for potty training he is wandering around the house without pants on).
I always try to encourage him to undress before his bath etc, he'll tug at them but if they don't just fall off he gives up, maybe he is just too lazy but he gets really frustrated by it! When do they normally learn to take off their own trousers and pants?

SingleMum01 · 05/04/2010 09:55

are they elasticated waist ones - I found that helped and also maybe a bit big so they're not tight and easier to get down.

Dominique07 · 05/04/2010 18:25

Yes, they shouldn't prove a challenge for him. He has been forgetting and sitting down on the potty wearing the pants today. I have to grab them and pull them down while he is in the act of sitting!

lovechoc · 05/04/2010 18:38

I've found a compromise - DS is in 'pull-up pants' and has used the potty most of today but I've had to encourage him to sit on it, he hasn't told me he needs to go every single time. It is quite restricting on what you can get done in a day when you have to remind them every 30 mins. Will see how this week goes. He's done two large poo's in the potty today as well as 4 pees so done not too badly. He has also pee'd in his pull up pants a few times (bit bulgy!) but been a good day so far.

mummysleepy · 05/04/2010 21:14

I'm in a similar situation to several of you, with my 3yr 2month old son. We are now on Day 10!! First few days lots of accidents, day 5 no accidents all day, even poo in potty, but it seems to vary so much day to day. Today he did poo in pants first thing, then lots of pees in potty. The he did one huge pee soaking trousers/pants but he had a very big drink about an hour before and it was obviously just too much to hold. We were initially using sticker chart and chocolate buttons but are weaning off this now and just concentrating on praise for successes. Very hard work though esp as I also have a 7 month old to look after. I plan to keep going though as I am sure it will 'click' eventually (at the moment 9/10 times I have to remind him, but occ he will say he needs to pee)
its encouraging to hear others say keep trying for 2 weeks

lovechoc · 06/04/2010 19:52

I'm on Day 2 now of the pull-up pants (well, DS is!) and he has only had one change of pants today. Yesterday he asked to use the potty when needing a poo twice, and today he also asked to use the potty when needing a poo. Sadly he doesn't ask for the potty when he needs a pee so I've had him on it every hour all day and 9 times out of 10 he's pee'd in it.

I will try DS all this week with the pull-up pants and if it's successful and he's getting the idea then we'll cross over to cotton pants with the characters on them for second week...

good luck to everyone else in the same boat - it's very tiring isn't it? I'm exhausted but will persevere.

Original poster

Treacle1973 · 08/04/2010 10:45

Hi there

I decided to wait a while as my son clearly is not interested and it's got to the point that he's ashamed of doing a poo in front of me and will go to his room to fill his nappy on his own.

He also won't let anyone else change his nappy apart from med and his dad (including his pre-school teachers!), so I think I've just overdone it and he's completely terrified of the whole thing.

I'm going to try again gently in the summer I think.

This is the hardest part of raising my son so far!

OP posts:

Dominique07 · 08/04/2010 19:11

Well at least he has had a good introduction to it Treacle! He'll probably know exactly what to do next time you suggest he uses the potty.

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