What is so bad about early potty 'training'?

[mrsjuan]

I keep reading on here how it is so much easier to wait until children are older before potty training and how starting too early is just a matter of catching accidents.

But is there actually anything inherently bad about this? Is popping them on a potty when they look like they are about to do a poo (DD is 10 months and makes it fairly obvious ) any harder work than changing a nappy?

My nanna was telling me that she used to sit my mum & aunt on a potty for a lot of their waking hours and that they were out of nappies by the time they were a year old and I suppose when you have to soak and wash nappies by hand that gives you rather an incentive!

I'm genuinely asking btw -not criticising anyone's approach.

nowadays it's called Elimination Communication, a MNer (Babieseverywhere I think) did it with hers

Nowt wrong with it as far as I can tell

No, things like this (which yes is written about under the term "EC" as BALD says) are fine, it's the harsh potty training techniques of decades ago where children were forcefully held on the potty until they performed or punished for having "accidents" etc that is damaging. It's just this has been so drummed into the public consciousness (with good reason as these techniques were barbaric ) that the idea of doing EC shocks some people as well, but I think it's great if you can get it to work. DS never ever liked sitting on the potty, so I have just completely abandoned the idea now.

If you google "elimination communication" you will find loads of websites about it, mostly American, there are some British sites now too.

There's nothing bad about IMO. The only disadvantage is it's probably creates more work for parents (more washing, cleaning, time consuming), especially if you've been using disposables.

Most children I know were potty trained by 2, 2.5 at the latest but realise this is becoming more uncommon now.

I dont think there is anything bad in the sense that it isn't harmful for the baby, etc.

However I do think it probably makes a lot more work for the parent, and makes doing every day stuff more difficult.

DD potty trained herself over a period of 2-3 days. She woke up, decided she wanted pants, told me, and she went for it. Very few accidents and was dry by day 3. She was 24 months. That just seems easier all round to me.

I see - 24 months is fairly early by todays standards though isn't hulababy?

Gosh - I didn't realise there were such harsh methods Bertie.

I have read a bit about elimination communication and agree that it does sound a lot of work (not for me!)

I think then (if I'm not going to damage her ) I will have a go at catching what I can when she is having 'naked madness' time and hope she decides she wants to do it properly by herself fairly early.

Can you tell I don't much like changing nappies?!

No harm in it at all. I saw it as reducing the workload by popping DD on the potty at change times, and did so from 10 months. She cottoned on surprisingly quickly and not long after did all her poos on the potty - a real bonus as we were using cloth nappies. However it only works if there is no stress or coercion involved and it is taken at their own pace. She was dry day and night by 23 months (though a lot of that is down to her temprament too)

i can't seem any harm in EC it just seems like hard work! if you're getting plenty of forewarning it won't be i suppose.
And when baby actually reaches the age of being able to control it, the transition would be seamless also.

I did what you are talking about - put ds on potty whenever he was about to do a poo which was very easy to gauge. Probably started about 6mths ish, all very relaxed and no more work at all, less in fact as you just wipe their bum and don´t need to scrape poo off their bum cheeks etc (nice). I also used cloth so even though i still put a clean nappy on after a poo it did mean one less pooey one to wash. By 10mths he always pooed on the toilet. At this point it was definitely us trained vs him but still, no pooey bums was a winner with me! We trundled along like that for ages and made no real effort to push it along but about 16mths i taught him a sign for potty so then he started to indicate when he wanted to go. He was dry during the day by 22mths i think and at night by 24mths. Really easy, few accidents, just a very natural progression.

Even my sister says "ooh it all sounds like hard work" and I just don´t get why - what is hard about it?! Give it a whirl, you can´t really lose anything.

Lionstar - that makes sense - we use cloth nappies too most of the time and much as I don't find them any more work than disposables, every one saved is a bonus!

Nothing wrong with it, unless it becomes obsessive, but it's SO MUCH HARD WORK!!!! ANd wet clothes and carpets and beds are such a pain in the neck. And there are so many better things to do with a baby than watch it like a hawk in case it looks like pooing. And so many more interesting things to say to a toddler than "Do you need a pee? And you sure? Shall we just try? Well tell me if you do. Are you ^sure you don"t want to try?"

Cross posted with you maveta - I can't really see what's so hard about it (may change my mind obviously ) Sounds like you had a good experience.

Suppose we're lucky to get plenty of poo warning plus she usually does a wee straight afterwards so that is also useful to know.

Absolutely fine. Why not?

I however never could tell when ds was about to do a poo. He didn't do any of the things you're meant to look out for.

If you can tell then it makes sense to not wait until it's in her nappy.

Oh bugger - now I've cross posted with seeker and can see that point of view too - I suppose it could be easy to get obsessive about it... I will think of you and check myself if I catch myself saying any of those things to her when she's older

seeker's last post has just brought back PTSD symptoms

but seeker it doesn´t have to be. maybe if you are doing proper ec and they are wearing pants, I didn´t do that so I don´t know, but if you are just introducing the toilet as you change their nappy (i.e. I would take his nappy off, put him on the toilet - i found a toilet seat worked better than a potty when he was small - then if he did anything great, if not straight back off again and new nappy on) and helping make a connection between the two acts - there´s no puddles or wet beds or anything, he had really average nappy free time I think, for me it was all about taking the easy option!

Seeker, proper EC might be hard work, but putting a baby on a potty at regular intervals (like change time) is not difficult. It just gives them the opportunity to be clean if they want to and it seems from my DD and Mavetas DS that they will take that opportunity if given it. With such a gentle introduction they naturally get used to toileting themselves without any chivvying.

Maveta, I'd forgotten about using a potty sign, but DD used one from very early on when she was pre-verbal and it helped a lot.

For me it sounds very restrictive and tying. How do you cope when out and about, and not in the house? What about when out shopping or in the car?

Night time is a whole different ball game and can't be trained IMO.

I guess 24 months was quite young, but my point was really that it was the ease. She decided, she wanted to do it, and she did it. It required very little input from me and it didn't take months and months and months to crack - it took less than 3 days.

I don´t talk about tt at all irl, i worry about coming over all smug and ´look at meeee my baby is so clever´ but I WANT to because I see all the tt threads and just wonder why more people don´t try it, it certainly seemed like the easier option to me, and still does.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER ds had a real ´poo face´ and if any future babies don´t do similar, like shona spurtle says, I am not sure it would go as smoothly so I doubt i would push it. I´d probably still pop them on the toilet at change time but that´s it.

I had much the same experience of it as Mavita.
Started once DD was on solid food, just for poos (you know it's coming by 'the face') saved me a nappy to wash. I was a SAHM so had the luxury of the time to do it.
Later, by fluke, sometimes a wee would happen on the potty and I'd give her praise for that.
Then later again, she was keeping her nappies clean and dry so we did away with them. They were quite bulky washables, so I do think she was just glad to see the back of them once she started walking around.

You know, DD signed for the potty and preferred to not poo into a nappy. It would almost have felt rotten to leave her to poo in a nappy once she was used to using the potty.

Hulababy, out and about etc DD would just have to poo in a nappy like any other baby.

hulababy - out and about wasn´t a problem, we didn´t really ditch the nappies til he pretty much had it, just took a portable potty with us so if he signed to go it was there but he was wearing a nappy if we weren´t quick enough iyswim. There were a couple of times in the car when he signed desperately to go and we couldn´t stop so I just had to tell him to go in his nappy this time and we´d change him as soon as we could stop. Didn´t seem to cause any confusion or delay.

Like others on here say, it seemed a bit of a roundabout way to do it to know they are going to poo, let them poo, then take them to clean up.. THAT´S more work.

by the time baby is a toddler, hopefully they will gleefully wee on the potty just for the praise...(don't do the whole questioning thing, DD wouldn't answer anyway!)...

I always get that 'world gorn maaad' feeling when talking about PT, because people will often advance notions like '2 is too young' when it would have been old to PT within living memory (the 70s-80s) and most sites still recognise they can control bowels from 18mo (obv some kids earlier, others later) and i see no reason to dismiss it as imagination if someone says their kid would choose to wee/poo on the potty from before 18mo. when people say their developmentally totally average 3 yo child isn't ready i am often though of course, it is their business.

i also think some kids are always going to be buggers to train whatever the age it is tackled at. An easy route to PT is not going to be possible for everyone.

That is my understanding of EC though - that you just put them on the potty when you change them and perhaps let them have a bit of nappy-free time every day and quickly pop them on the potty if you notice them weeing etc. If you start after 6 months or so (ie when they are mobile) then I don't know anyone who wouldn't have a nappy on their baby most of the time, because due to the nature of it you're going to miss most of their cues at first. It's easier to have a tiny baby naked most of the time because if you put them on a towel, they stay there.

I may try getting a toilet seat because DS likes sitting on adult sized chairs now, he has never liked sitting on a potty. But if he hates it then no biggie, I will just put it away for when he's older. He is very obvious when he poos and goes through faddy eating phases and makes himself constipated so hopefully it should make it a bit easier for him to go if he will sit in a sitting position.

I started DS at 13 months straight to the toilet first waking. Had first success within the week. By 15 months, all poos were saved for home toilet. They took half an hour to come out (time spent with puzzles, books, etc. he knew all his animals very early as a result!). "Wee wee" was one of his first words. He was out of nappies by 18 months and out of nappies at night around 2.5 yr. He still wets the bed quite often goes through spells of dry bed for a month, then wet every night when his teeth hurt.