Nearly 4yr old still wet

[rebl]

I'm struggling with ds (nearly 4yrs) and potty training. He started the process in November 08, out of the blue. I didn't stop him. We got to where he is today in 2 months but he's not progressed since (so over 12months). He's clean (although has cronic constipation treated medically) but he's not dry. He's wetting between 1 and 5 times a day. He can be dry for a week but then will be wet for the next week. I've been keeping a diary over the last 3 weeks and he's been dry for 5 days in 21 days. He can go to the toilet and do a wee and then 5 mins later be wetting himself and we're not talking just dribbles, its proper floods. He can be dancing round the room holding himself but swear blind he doesn't need to go and even go up to the toilet and stand there and 'try' to go but doesn't do anything then of course he wets himself a few mins later.

But on a dry day he will stop playing and say he needs a wee and go charging off too the toilet and do a wee and then come back.

So I'm feeling very confused over it. On the 1 hand he gives the impression that he doesn't even recognise the feeling but then on the other hand he clearly is recognising the feeling and acting on it. I don't understand why he can wee in the toilet but then 5 mins later he's wetting himself.

This is happening everywhere, not just at home for me. Its happening at both preschool and nursery as well as at home.

Any ideas? I'm desperate, I can't cope with it much longer.

I suspect there is a link between the constipation and the wetting, and I bet ds is as confused as you are. Have you noticed any link between a good week of bowel movements and no wetting, and lots of wetting when the bowel movements aren't so good? He may need a modification of his medication dosage, and diet.

Is he drinking well? The sensation of needing a wee can be lessened by not drinking enough, which produces less but concentrated urine, more likely to make him wet himself. In order to get good signals from the bladder it needs to be stretched. It's possible that on the days when he is constipated, he only half empties his bladder, due to the full rectum pressing on it, and that is why you get the wetting soon after, but I'm just speculating. I think you could do with getting him checked again, maybe by a paediatric continence advisor if you haven't seen one before.

Thank you girlywhirly for your reply. I was wondering if it was linked to the constipation but when I mentioned it to the community paed last week she just said that he's not 5 so not to worry and that was the end of the conversation. We do have a normal paed appointment later in the week so I'll make sure I'm not fobbed off by him. DS is complex in terms of his constipation he has stomach ulcers and multiple food intolerances which has always been questioned whether its under control because he's also still at nearly 4yrs still got chronic failure to thrive.

He drinks quite a lot of water so I think he's getting a full bladder, plus the amount of wee he does is a lot so I don't doubt he's got a full bladder.

I was wondering if pull-ups are a good idea or whether this is going to confuse him. But then right now he doesn't even recognise (or care I'm not sure which) his trousers and pants are sopping wet so a wet pull up I can't see confusing him but I wouldn't know he was wet like I do at the moment so can't act on it as quickly.

rebl, have you thought about washable cloth pants with extra absorbency built in instead of pull-ups? There is a website that supplies these for children up to 12yrs, and because they look like underwear rather than nappy pants will be rather more morale boosting for your ds, especially at nursery, where they may save a flood and he can go and discreetly change when wet. Email at [email protected] and choose Upsey Daisy Childrens Products.

I see that there is more to it in terms of ds health, and I am not a healthcare professional. Just wanted to try to offer some practical advice.

Thank you again girlywhirly, I know I need to talk to the paed this week but having been fobbed off by the other paed I thought I wouldn't be alone with an older child still not dry. I really appreciate your advice. I'll try and find out about the cloth pants. They sound like something that could work and contain the flood as you say. I clearly need to do something for my sanity and ds's morale.

I forgot to mention that you can contact the firm by email or phone and they will advise on the best choice of product for your circumstances. I contacted them on behalf of my friend who needed bedwetting pants for her child and they were really helpful. Some of the boys pants can absorb over 200mls, which is more than most other training pants I guess. They aren't very exciting to look at, no Ben 10 or characters, but at least they look like 'real' pants.

I hope things go well with the paediatrician.