Why do some posts get ignored and others get loads of responses?

[Nonicknamesleft]

I am starting to feel persecuted. I seem to get few or no responses to more or less any thread I start. What am I doing wrong?

I wouldn't take it personally- I think nearly everyone has that kind of experience on here at some time or other, and it can make you a bit paranoid! I don't tend to post on threads if someone else has already said what I would have, or I have no useful advice to contribute (so I don't post very much, unless wine has made me feel all-knowing )

Nothing

you might be posting questions which in the nanoseconds they first appear in active conversations no one has the answer to, that's all

so they scroll down and disappear ever so quickly

i suppose you could put on more general thread titles and maybe get the topic right.. eg why is this in potty training?!

if you have a title like "am I completely wrong to think...."

then people will open it to see what it's about and might not want to read and run whereas if you ask a very detailed question in the title people might think "no idea" and not even open it

and no, don't take it personally you will go nuts if you take things too personally here

another suggestion is, if you post a lot on other people's threads then they get to know your name and then on yours might post something like "no idea but x might be along later"

you get the picture

do you always post in potty training?

posting in potty training? think lots hide it

Ah well you see, I'd posted something a bit earlier which is about potty training which has so far got no response at all ('Why won't dd tell when she's done a poo'...). I've put a few up here on my various woes with this issue and get very little or no answer.

Anyway, I then saw a new post come up after mine which got about 12 replies in the first five minutes. Some things seem to get tens of replies, others nothing at all. And I'm posting because I really am (like most people I'm sure) just desperate for some support and advice.

how old is she?

don't get down over lack of posts its just one of those things.

3.6 I don't know how to do a link to another post so here it all is again....

My 3.6 year old seems to be taking forever to toilet train. She started December 08 and is still having accidents all the time (yes has been tested at least a couple of times for UTIs - all clear). She is much more prone to accidents at home (eg at the bathroom door) and in other familiar environments than when we are out and about, when perhaps suprisingly, she's not bad at holidng on.

Worse though is the latest thing which is that she doesn't tell anyone that she's done a poo. Sometimes she'll have a go at wiping herself but mostly she doesn't bother.

We keep telling her that she will a) have a sore and itchy bottom and b) smell bad, but this clearly isn't working.

I am NOT getting into giving out chocolates for the loo but if there are any other recommended tactics I'd be v grateful. Star charts etc long outlived their usefulness. Even a three year old can't stay motivated by stickers for over a year.

However, I'm getting anxious as she starts school in September and although that sounds a long way off, I would have said this time a year ago that February 2010 sounds a bloody long way off too and we are doing more or less no better at all than we were then.

If you search through the archives, there are loads and loads and loads of threads on this, with many helpful tips.

If the board is moving very fast and your question is being missed - which can easily happen since many people just check out Active Convos and a thread can slip off there in minutes! - then having a look through previous threads on the subject (just use advanced search) might help answer your question while you are waiting for replies on your thread.

I also then added that she is dry at night much of the time.

I'm sorry, I'm just fed up. I'm trying to finish a degree, work full time and keep my head in one place while dh's employment collapses around him AND I'm six months preg. House is an f tip. Just really need something to start going right and on current progress, 20 month old will be toiled trained before 3yr old. I'm not joking - she looks much more like it. I just don't have that much bloody space for drying clothes.

Oh you are the lady who made the genuinely wise remarks re shall I call my child Jesus, aren't you? Hope the silly wench takes your advice.

Sorry, that one was to heQet

me? or custy?

Sound like you're fed up. Understandable. I can't give you any advice on the potty training because my situation was very different with my kids. But I can give you a listening ear. It sounds like you are really stressed out.

oh x post. Well, thank you. I'm not sure 'wise' is what most people would say about me but you are very kind.

i think for bottom wiping perhaps some 'special' bottom wipes just for her. ( baby wipes or patterned tissues or perhaps even lovely patterned loo roll just for her)perhaps go on a special shopping trip specifically for this purpose - and it involves cake

also try to ascertain when she goes for a poo - in that usually we have a regular time daily that we do this - in the morning - after a meal etc.

Don't worry about the non answering - people with lots of replies are often just people with lots of mates on here and/or have been around for ages - its not personal...

Sounds like theres a lot going on at home though - is she using the pooing to get attention?

Good idea Custardo about the swanky loo paper. That's the sort of thing that really tickles dd. Sadly no regular time to pay especial attention to.

Tbh I don't think it's an attention thing. She's popping to the loo really quietly and then coming back and getting on with whatever. I think she just can't be doing with the whole thing so wants to get on with life asap afterwards. I don't know if that explains all the wee accidents though.