final straw, dd just wet my bed.

[ilovetochat]

dd is 2.7 and potty trained 10 months ago, over the last 2weeks she has started having accidents, i noticed she was teething 3 molars so ignored and changed her, i have tried a tick chart again with the promise of choc buttons if she gets all ticks all day, she has managed 1 day dry.
most accidents are 4.30 onwards, she has had no accidents when out, only at our house, today she has had 4 accidents all since 5pm, the finale being in my bed where she just lay there saying i want a wee, this was 20 mins since the last flood downstairs.

i need help.
do i need to reward each wee with a button (never did this when training)?
do i ignore? (hard as she is running out of clothes)
do i naughty step her? (i know i shouldnt)
do i put her in nappies?

One thing to check is a possible urine infection?

i also potty trained dd1 very young (22 months), which lead to several regressions.

So, what worked: patience, reward charts and other bribes, no comment when changing clothes (ie just gently remind her that we do wee's on potty/loo). And go back to loads and loads of praise when she gets to the toilet. Basically, exactly what you did when originally potty trained her.

She is still young - remember some dc's are still in nappies at this age!

i know she is young but i also know she can do it so its hard that she is regressing.
its like in the mornings she gets her clothes down, wees, wipes and dresses herself and says tick please, by evening she says i want a wee but makes no effort to head to the toilet and physically fights me off while i try and get her there, then she admits she has already done it.

i am ultra praising any success, which is basically most of the day, if she mentions her crosses for failures i just say im sure you will get all ticks tomorrow and she says she will but cant seem to do it when tired anymore.

i dont think she has an infection as she doesnt say it hurts to wee, there is no smell, very slightly red but nothing really and controls herself fine most of the day and is nearly dry at nigh too.

it is hard and frustrating, but as you said, you know she can do it. Just hang in there!!

I remember dd1 regressing on holiday aged 3.8. She weed over my MILs bed . I got cross and put her on the naughty step, which she weed on. She also weed on her brothers clothes. On purpose.

Don't fight with her, just give her minimal attention if she wets herself. If she's not getting a reaction, what's the point of weeing herself?

thanks

Just a thought, perhaps leave the tick chart for a while - ease off the pressure to get a tick? Worth a go. . .

Oh gosh she is tiny

Please just accept this phase and chill out, she is too young to really have that control, it's bound to regress at times.

Please don't blame her for it.
Ds2 is 2.8 and still in nappies most of the time, I know he has some control but tbh am not that fussed about making him get the hang of it immediately...why bother? They DO learn it by themselves, ds1 wasn't trained, at all...it's a natural instinct for kids.

There's plenty of research to back it up, children who have never even been introduced to a potty find a specific place in their environment which becomes their toilet.

She will be fine within a year or two,
stop worrying,

she is doing brilliantly btw but will be picking up how worried YOU are about it

it's not a race y'know

i know, she decided to train young, i didnt push her, i bought a potty at 18 months and she pood on it from that day and was dry by 21 months, she just hated being wet/dirty and used to pull at her nappy and lie on her change mat from 17 months.
i will try and back off and totally ignore it and see if its attention but she gets my attention constantly, i take her everywhere, park, swimming, play jigsaws/cooking, im at home with her so im always here.

I disagree - dd2 is dry day and night and she is 2.7! She also taught herself with no pressure from me. It just depends on the child. What I meant by early training is proper training before the age of 2 which is what I did with dd1, which was a nightmare!

They can have control at this age and your dd has proved that she can do it. It depends on the child.

I don't think its necessary to go back to nappies if she's been dry for 10 months. If you think she can still do it, just ease off the pressure and hang in there. I agree that she will pick up that you are worried, so relax and go with your instincts.

sorry x post. And verity, it was me who naughty stepped my dd out of frustration - she is 7 now, so a long time ago

yy they can have physical control, but the emotional side of it...well that's a bit more complicated!

A 2yo is bound to have a few setbacks, ups and downs and the rest of it. If you can vaguely tailor your precautions to her accidents, that'll be the answer...I guess the problem is really knowing when she is going to need a nappy and when she'll be Ok.

That's something you'll need to figure out from observation...time of day, tiredness etc all play a part for sure by the sound of it.

Otherwise I would not get into the good/naughty aspect - that's so irrelevant at this age. It's not about that. Their brains and emotions are very undeveloped.

ie she is not doing it to piss you off! testing boundaries perhaps, testing how much of a grown up girl she is, and what her role is...I have a slightly regressive 6yo at present, it is all about a gradual, general growing up thing. They don't stick to going forwards in that respect...they chop and change, a few steps forward, one or two back...etc etc. But generally they get there in the end.

Don't be cross. It would be weird if she didn't do this kind of thing.

my dd is 7 and has accidents, has regressed at time due to emotional stuff.

Your dd is so so little, i know it's frustrating, but it will work itself out, gentle reminding, and ignoring the accidents, when she is doing so well otherwise. my dd still had a nappy at night!!!

'waves' at veritythebrave. !

Even emotionally, they can be fine as long as you are chilled out . Believe me, my 3 dcs are fine and were all dry by 3!

Agree, naughty/good aspect is irrelevant at 2.7 as they don't understand what naughty is. I put dd1 on naughty step once out of frustration, after weeks and weeks of weeing herself at nearly 4 - I apologised for getting cross, and we used a star chart when we got back from hols and she has been fine ever since!

agree piratecat!

I think that even when they are capable of being dry, there are regressions. My dd is 4.5 and still has the odd period when she wets her bed, our bed, sofas etc. Each regression period lasts a couple of weeks then things are ok for several months, then it happens again. I choose not to make a big deal out of it, just gently remind her to make sure she goes to the loo as soon as she feels that feeling, then I clean it up quickly and quietly. I don't know if this is the best way, but it feels like it is. At 2.7 I think you just need to accept that these regressions are highly likely. I wouldn't naughty step her, bribe her, or indeed make it a big issue in any way.

My DD (4.5) has only just stopped nighttime nappies. She was dry in the day fairly normally, and seemed to be dry at night. She did regress (new baby?)so went back into nighttime nappies.

Don't worry about it.

Shame it was your bed though - those double sheets are so much more hassle to wash!

dd regressed at 6. cos of emotional stuff with her dad. She had to re learn how to go to the loo, she is still in night time nappies.

She suddenly coudln't feel the urge to go anymore. She is nearly 8, and altho i kow now this is a different problemand may be hormonal, i know it's frustrating.

I have bought these, and I have one under the sheet on my bed too, the side she likes to go on !!

very handy

If it's any consolation, OP, there is no surface of our flat that hasn't been weed on. I have wooden floors and cheap Ikea sofas, but at times the whiff of urine has got me down! It's easier if you just accept that you've probably got a bit of this ahead, specially if you are planning further children...