Why has DS (3.3) started wetting himself at nursery?

[kwaker5]

I've also posted in toilet training.

Started toilet training at 2.11 and it went quite well initally. Sometimes it is fine, but we do have to nag quite a lot and deal with damp spots where he's leaked a bit in his pants.

He very rarely does a whole wee in his pants at home (only once since Christmas I think). However, since Christmas he's had anything up to 4 accidents a day at nursery. And he doesn't tell them when he's had an accident.

I know one of the staff went on maternity leave at Christmas but he knows the member of staff who is covering for her. I think a few new children have started too. Tonight when I picked him up he had had 3 accidents and I said that if they wanted to go back to stickers/taking him every hour that was fine with me. I don't think the staff are to blame at all but for some reason he doesn't seem to think he needs to use the toilet there anymore!

I have talked to him about it but he doesn't have much in the way of a reason other than 'I did it in my pants because I didn't go to the toilet'!

Is there anything else I can do?

Hi, I had the same problem with my ds. A few months after starting nursery, he began wetting himself. At first it was only a few times in the week, but quickly went to every day (for about a week and a half). I spoke to nursery staff about it, and they advised it was normal. They said that some children like the attention they get when the nursery staff take them away to be changed. The children like the undivided attention they get, and they like getting new school underpants. I had a few talks with my ds, and he soon stopped. I would talk to his carers and see if they have any ideas about how to help you with this. But I wouldn't worry too much about it. It is quite common apparently.

Thanks for the reply. Today he had 2 accidents despite being reminded to go every 30 mins. I did wonder if it might be an attention thing but if he doesn't tell them that he needs changing and I think they do pretty much give them the clothes and let them get on with it (if they are able, which he is).

We have talked about it, although today he said he didn't have wet pants at nursery so there was no discussion. Do they eventually just realise that it would be better to go to the toilet?!

My younger ds is 2.9, and is due to start nursery in a few weeks. I've only just gotten him dry during the day. He is the sort of child that if there is something going on that he doesn't want to miss, he simply won't bother going to the loo. I'm hoping he grows out of that over the next few weeks, but I think we will have a few set backs when he starts nursery.

With my oldest ds there were set backs when he started nursey, but in the end nursery helped him with his loo routine. He was really good about washing his hands and learned to wee standing up (like the older boys). So, there is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel!

That's reassuring. He was at home today and we had a few accidents in the morning but after lunch he was fine.

I am trying pebbles in the jar for each wee in the toilet and pebbles removed for accidents. When the jar is full, he gets a prize. He seemed quite excited by it but who knows?!

I am a great believer in the reward system. I bit of chocolate or a sticker can work wonders!

my ds also 3.3yr has wet himself at pre school lately and not told anyone.

after a week of asking andspeaking to his keyworker i thought the problem was the 3 toilets only had one light between them - he said he favoured the light one.

next day he used toilet and was chuffed that we were proud of him then following day refused to use it!!

Can't figure out what to do next so will watch this thread.

hope u get it resolved

We've still got the damp pants despite the fact I have wrapped up the prize and put it next to the pebble jar!

To be honest, I am wondering whether he can genuinely help it or whether he just isn't motivated by rewards? He keeps asking what the prize is and I've explained a million times what he has to do to get it. Sometimes he will go to the loo immediately he is asked, other times, he will refuse then wait until he leaks before deciding to go.

Maybe when he finally fills the jar and gets the prize the penny will eventually drop?!

Nice to know I am not alone though. He is back at nursery on Tuesday so will update then.

OK, so on Monday he finally seemed to 'get' the jar thing and on Tuesday he didn;t have asingle accident at nursery (I sent the jar in with him)