how do you know what age to get rid of nappies at night?

[parakeet]

My daughter is 4.5. We potty trained her for the day pretty quickly and easily when she was 2.75. But training at night just seemed like unecessary hard work, so she still wears a nappy in bed - and it's usually wet in the morning.

Am I a terrible mother? And if so, what's my first step? Does anyone believe in lifting them for a late-night wee at 11.00pm before parents go to bed (as my mother is advising me to)?

We did late night wee with DS1 (we started him without nappies at about 3.5) and it worked pretty well. Quite a few accidents till 4, but then none since.

DS2 started earlier - he was only 2.5 ish, but wanted to be like big brother. We tried lifting him, but he refused to go and just got upset. We'd have some dry nights, and then total relapse. I know he was young, very young infact, and wasn't particularly pushing him...he wanted to be a big boy. Anyway, after a couple of wet nights, we'd go back to nappies until he next asked or had a few dry nappies...since he has been 3 we've had very few accidents.

Sorry for waffle - but try your DD. If it doesn't work, you can always revert to pull ups.

Good luck.

When you forget to put a pull up on them and they tell you about it in the morning

I am a firm believer in not pushing them before they are ready afterall a pull up a night is far easier than dealing with a wet bed. DD1 was 4 when one night I forgot about her pull up and she told me she had got up for the toilet, she still has to get up once or twice in the night but she is a heavy wetter and was a nightmare to potty train. DD2 was just before her third birthday again I forgot to put a pull up on her and she told me she didn't want to wear one anymore, never had an accident but she doesn't get up for the toilet.

I am having the same problem with DS who is nearly 4.

His pullups are always wet but I think it's laziness. He has been dry in the day for over a year now.

We are going away next weekend with a boy a few months younger who doesn't wear nappies at night so I'm hoping this will encourage him to want to get rid of them.

we took DS2's nappy off to see what would happen (even though it was heavy in the morning) He had a wee at about 11pm so the next night we took him to the loo at 10.30 we went to bed. we did that for 3 nights then forgot and he slept through and went for a wee when he woke up.

Age is irrelevant, there are 2 year olds dry at night and 8 year olds who aren't. If you want to try it then do.

I think maybe 4 is a good age to do it. But you might need to try a few tactics like firstly, telling her you would like her to try not to wee in the night, then don't give any drinks before bed time, eg last drink at 6pm, and put a potty in her room. If she does manage a couple of dry nights then you can try without the nappy. Sometimes its just a matter of getting into the habit. There's not much point trying if the nappy is still wet in the morning though.

Lazy mum here. I just told ds if he didn't want to wear night nappies he had to be dry 14 nights in a row. Took a while but got there when he was 4.5 and no accidents.

I think if you just don't put a nappy on one night you might be pleasantly suprised.
Both mine were under 3 when they came out of night nappies and despite always having wet nappies in the morning, we just stopped using them a couple of months after daytime toilet training and had very few accidents. Personally I never bothered with nighttime lifting or withholding fluids before bedtime, but just made sure they used the toilet before bed.

Mybe I am just lucky, mine were out of nappies in the day dd1 at 2 and a quarter and dd2 at 24m.with dd1 I left her in pull ups at night for ages,until she was nearly three in fact as I was worried about a wet bed (co-sleeping so a lot of disruption) and then in hindsight she had had ONE wet nappy in all that time,all that landfill! so with DD2 I took then off at night as they had been dry before she was potty trained and put her in towelling training pants for a couple of weeks,and then nothing.Put a waterproof undersheet on the bed,and so far in nearly eight months she has had two accidents ,one very slight and one proper wee when she had flu and wouldn't go before bed.I remember reading that daytime dryness can be taught but night-time is just your child's own biology and will happen when their bodies learn it,don't know if that is true but it seems likely.I know a nearly six year old still in night pullups.

I think the best time is when they have dry nappies in the morning for several days in a row. That's what we did with ds.

But dd decided she really didn't want to wear a night-time nappy at around 3.5, but she wasn't ready to go through the night yet so we did lift her for a couple of months. That worked fine too.

In your case I'd wait until your dd wants to go without nappies - she's not old enough for it to matter if she's not bothered imo.

Have you tried lifting her?

What I did with my dd was to lift her late evening.

To start with I would put her in pull ups then wake her about 10pm (ish) for a wee. If she did great, but more often than not the poor love fell asleep on the potty!!! I had to keep trying to keep her awake! I think I started this just before she was 4yo.

Then once she sort of mastered the fact I was going to wake her up, I took off the pull up and put her in pants (she wont sleep with a bare bum!!) with a protector under her sheet.

Naturally we had a few accidents, especially if I was 15 mins late, but once she was dry for more than a fortnight, I gradually increased the time over 5 months to just before I went to bed at 11.30-12am.

Then a few weeks ago, I totally forgot (had a horrendous cold so wasnt feeling 100% ) and she managed to stay dry all night.

I leave the potty in her bedroom, as she is frightened of the dark, even though we leave the bathroom light on, so she can use it if she needs too.

She seems to have reached the stage of being able to wake herself up if she needs a night time wee.

Kids will do it in their own time, but think about this way, as my dd was exactly the same as yours

Don't use having wet nappies in the morning as a measure of when to start leaving them off.

DS1 (4yo) mainly wees in his nappy before he goes to sleep (lazy so and so) - we have been working on encouraging him to take himself to the toilet after we have tucked him in if needed.

It seems to be working as he has been much drier lately when he wakes in the morning. Although we are not at the stage where we can drop the pull-ups at night just yet.

I think that the dry nappies in the morning thing is a bit of a red herring. You might well be surprised if you just don't put a nappy on one night and see what happens. Children this age are well aware of nappies as an alternate form of loo and will use it as such (why not? that's what it's for). Neither of my DDs ever had a dry nappy in the morning but were absolutely fine when I tried nappy free. I never did lifting. We only ever had very occasional accidents right from first day of nappy free. I left a potty in the room and put them in a nightdress with no knickers in case they needed to get on the potty quickly but they almost never used it - it was more of a security thing for them to know it was there.

My advice would be try without a nappy for 4 or 5 nights and see what happens. Be prepared - i.e. make the bed up with disposable bed mat and extra sheet in case of accidents and have extra covers to hand. If no luck after a couple of days then back to nappies and try again in a couple of months. Also stick to a water only policy after about 3pm so that she doesn't drink loads of juice etc and make sure she does a final wee right before she gets into bed.

Read up on anti diuretic hormone and its' role in controlling night wetting. This hormone kicks in at widely differing ages in children, reducing the amount of urine produced during sleep, which makes them more able to hold a bladder-full overnight. The child becomes more aware of the signals that the full bladder is sending to the brain, which rouses them from sleep to go and empty it. Some children simply aren't producing this hormone yet, and so waking them to use the toilet may not keep them dry all night so they will still be wet in the morning.

Be aware that by waking a child to use the loo will not train them to recognize the sensation of the need to urinate and wake themselves up. This is not the same as day-time training when the child is aware of what their body is telling them. If you do decide to wake your child, she must be fully awake and walk herself to the loo. Carrying a half asleep child is pointless, as she will still do it in her sleep and not be aware.

Do take all the appropriate measures to protect the bed, etc, as others have described, but may have to wait for her to become dry on her own when her body is ready.

girlywhirly I understand about the hormone thing totally, I also think though that if a child isn't encouraged to think there is an alternative to a nappy that it can take them a VERY long time to work it out themselves.

Both ds's had wet nappies in the morning when we decided to give it a go, and we now believe that it was the time when they were awake and warm and comfy in the morning that they filled their nappies rather than in the middle of the night, not sure if that makes sense

When DS first lost his nappies during the day, he was also often dry at night and would wake us up to go to the loo. however DS2 was due and we were moving house so I kept him in pullups.

I think I missed my chance . I know he can do it - hejmust won't

my dd is 7, and still not dry. have tried everything.

Bythepower, I agree that some children will use the nappies out of laziness, and if you suspect that you could try with no nappy/pullup and see if it makes a difference. However my DS, even though we woke him to use the loo when we went to bed, was still wet in the morning about half the time at age 4. (MIL suggestion to wake him, I am still not convinced, and lucky that DS co-operated.)

The big improvement came when he started reception at 4.7, when he said one bedtime that he wanted to try not to wet his bed and stop wearing nappy-pants. He was pretty much dry at night from then on, only occasional lapses at times of illness or upset. He wanted to be grown up. I think that if a child says they want to try without nappies we should at least give it a go on a trial basis.

I agree about getting children to view pull-ups as a back-up rather than a nappy for the wetting of rather than a potty or toilet. I was lucky that DS after he was trained in the day understood this, they were just for naps and night sleep in case of an accident. I understand that a lot of children will find it hard to give up their nappies after years of wearing them.

Thank you all for your advice. I'm now completely confused because you all said something different! That's the joy of MumsNet.

However, I'm going to give it a try for a few days, and will probably try a late-night lift for the first few times too.

Cheers

I took off nappies when I started toilet training mine, (2.5 to 3) and never put one on them again, day and night alike. I used large towels under them in bed, and waterproof mattresss covers. They all got the idea quickly. Also restricted drinks in the evening to none after 7 or so. At some point you have to 'just do it'.

lol. dd1 only became dry at night at 8 courtesy of an enuresis alarm. 14 days after starting to use it she was reliably dry. (we had trialled meds to simulate hormone production earlier, but this did not work)

dd2 was dry day and night at 2.5, despite her sn (we were told she may be doubly incontinent for life)

ds1 is 8 and there is no telling when he will be dry either in the day or night. he's been seeing the paed for two years and been on different meds/ alarm.

essentially, as girlywhirly says, unless your child is producing the hormone, they will not be dry at night. in addition, some dcs are such heavy sleepers that despite producing the hormone, they may still be wet at night (enter dd1)

so, give it a go, and see what happens.

hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones not still forking out for pull-ups and enuresis alarms into double figures