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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Please restore my teeny amount of confidence

10 replies

mumblecrumble · 26/01/2010 21:40

I have fallen victim to the 'thinking all is ok untill you listen to a 'posh mum' saying something that contradicts what you're doing' syndrome

AM I right in thining that kiddies are not naturally dry at night till much older than 2 years, 5 months?

DD is progresing well with going to the toilet. We are trying to teach rather than train and as I go tot he loo like a million times a day she is using loo rather than potty (posh mum said this was a no no....) DD is able to whisk herself off to the toilet, take off clothes and terry pull ups, get on toilet, have a wee or poo, has help with wiping then pulls her clothes up herself. (Very pleased as have mobility issues with arms).

She knows when she is about to poo but not when she is about to wee.

Posh mum says (cow bag) that people chould use dispoables, potty and disposable sheets for bed... Also that I should put dd is normal pants over night and get up every 3 hours to wake her a take her to the toilet.

Please God, tell me that I shouldnlt be doing this>!>!>

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/01/2010 21:45

no of course you shouldn't wake her every 3 hours, what bloody nonsense

you are doing great

FWIW I went straight to the loo too, with both of my children - no sluicing out revolting potties bleugh

And being dry at night is a hormone thing not a control thing

posh mum is talking out of her arse

so there

[folds arms]

laughterlines · 26/01/2010 21:45

Don't listen to her!

My dd didn't really use a potty at all, much preferring the toilet.

She is only just dry at night now aged 5. Ds was earlier at 3.5 but it really depends on the child.

I know some people do wake their children to go to the toilet, but we never went down that route.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/01/2010 21:46

And I could write you an essay as to why one shouldn't lift/wake a child at night to go to the toilet

suffice to say it's not recommended

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/01/2010 21:49

Every child is different so no, you're not being mad to think you don't need to do what the "posh" mum says!
Go with your own child. ds1 was dry at night from the moment we started potty training, even though he didn't get hang of potty training itself and we had to abandon it for a few months then try again, successfully. He has never wet the bed once.
ds2 was dry in the day before the night but he hasn't had a wet bed since he was about 3
So there are 2 totally different examples right there- one child was dry at night from 2 yrs, one wasn't dry at night until 3yrs.
fwiw I have heard that waking them to take them to the toilet in the night isn't a good idea as it can train their bladder to get used to being emptied too often and thus not be used to holding a lot of fluid whereas they need to get used to holding onto it in the night if they are to be successful at not wetting the bed all the time....just avoid giving drinks just before bedtime..can't vouch for this though as wasn't applicable for my dcs.
I did get waterproof sheets under their bedding though just in case. They were unnecessary for ds1 but occasionally a godsend for ds2 and if there is an accident in the night you can just change the sheets and not have to change the mattress they are on!

Original poster

mumblecrumble · 26/01/2010 21:50

super dooper. SHe was giving another muma advice and at first I wads like what??¬¬? Then begam questioning myself....

Depsite happily washing shite out of terries for 2 years, nothing fills me with more disgust than sluicing ut a potty.

Or worse. Peeing in the kitchen in a potty.

So,,, do kids tend to keep wearing nappies til at least 3 maybe 4?

OP posts:

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/01/2010 21:54

I was at toddler group the other day and a friend's child who is 4 still wears them at night so some children must wear them that long and seeing the ads for night-time pants and under sheet mats etc, there is clearly a market for that sort of thing for older preschoolers.
TBH I can't remember when we got rid of night-time nappies for my potty trained dcs, sorry, but I know it was when we had had consistently dry nights for a few weeks and felt confident that they could be omitted, so going off when they were trained, it must have been around 2yrs 9mths, something like that.

Original poster

mumblecrumble · 26/01/2010 21:56

Cool. Are there any ways you can teach them that their 'sore tummy' is to do with wanting a wee?

OP posts:

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/01/2010 22:01

I always referred to it as a "funny feeling" and asked them to let me know or go to the potty/loo when they got "that" feeling.

CantucciniVS · 26/01/2010 22:15

Message withdrawn

ChaosTheoryMum · 30/01/2010 21:21

Peer pressure is the worst, and peer pressure about potty training is the absolute worst. From when my little boy was 12 months old, my mother-in-law would smugly inform me on a regular basis that her two sons were both completely potty-trained by the time they were 14 months old (oh sure... bollocks were they!) and that I really ought to be getting a move on with it by now. It's the ones who actually brag about how early their kid was potty-trained that baffle me - I mean, what's the kid gonna do with that info, stick it on his CV when he applies for jobs??

Posh Mum was talking rubbish - all that designer gear has clearly adversely affected her brain. Getting a child up every 3 hours every night? Well more fool her, if she's not that bothered about sleep deprivation. Sounds like the perfect way to train a person to wake up every 3 hours to go for a wee each night, if you ask me!

Our little boy is 3 and a half now, and he gets his poos and wees in the right place about 85% of the time. Star charts didn't work for him either, nor did always sitting him on the potty after meals (getting him to STAY there was the first problem!)All we've done - all we COULD do really - was just praise him mightily when he succeeded and just calmly say never mind when it all went wrong, and explain gently to him that next time he needs to go to the potty as soon as he's "not feeling well." Yes, we felt completely impotent and ineffective every single time (and yes, I DID have to endure those same mother-in-law rose-tinted potty memories every time a mishap occurred in her presence ) but in the end it was the only thing that got him to where he is now... and we still have a little way to go. But hey, it's not like it's a race or anything - as far as I know, there are no prizes given out for Fastest Potty Trainer . The important thing is not to let the child see that you're stressing about it, which is really hard, I know - but look at it this way, can you tell which of your adult friends and acquaintances didn't get out of nappies until they were five just by looking at them right now?

One other thing we did do with our son when it came to the nighttime was to put him in those pull-up things - but we bought a different brand than the ones we used for day time (so that they looked and felt obviously different to the daytime pull-ups to him) and we NEVER called them nappies or pull-ups when he was around. We told him they were his 'bed pants' and that he should still use the potty in the night if he needed to. That way he didn't feel like he was going a step backwards, but it still saved the bedsheets.

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